Lord, thou feeft all my defires, and my continual groanings are not hid from thee: thou alone knoweft how weary I am of the finful travels of this life, how earnestly I long to be at reft with thee; Lord pardon all my fins, and put an end to all my miferies; come Lord Jefus, come quickly, wipe away all tears, from mine eyes, and bring me to the rest of thine which never fhall have end.AMEN.

CHAP. XII.

UPON THE GREAT DANGER OF SECURITY.

DECEIVE not thyfelf, O my foul, it is not fo eafy a matter to inherit heaven as thou ima, gineft; there will be much fighting, sweating, bleed. ing, much compunction of soul, subjection of body, hard preffing towards the mark for the price of the high calling in Chrift Jefus, before this happy conqueft can be gained.

Confider, therefore, in what condition thou now ftandeft, what ground thou hast gained of thy corrupt nature, how much better thou art this day, than the day paft, than the year past, than thy whole life paft; nay, rather how much worfe by adding fin unto fin, by drinking in iniquity like water, by treasuring up wrath agaiuft the day of wrath, and revelation of thy righteous judgment.

Philosophy will tell thee, that in all natural motions, the nearer they are to ending, the more violent their motion is: divinity will tell thee, that in old age, thou wilt be fat, and well-liking: what increase of love haft thou to God's law? what growth of hatred against fin? what bofom-fin haft thou parted with? what gracious improvement haft thou made in knowledge, faith, repentance, love, and all

thofe other gifts and graces, which concur to thy perfection?

Holy Saint Anselm was often heard to fay, if I could from hence behold the pains of hell, from thence the horror of sin, I would rather embrace those pains, than this horror. O what growth of grace was here! how far am I from this degree of holiness ? how eafily perfuaded to delude myself with fhews and shadows of perfection? There is no attaining unto happiness without holy violence, without bearing down my body, without cherishing my foul; if I conquer not here, I cannot triumph hereafter.

Lord, when I look into the ftrictness of the lives of thy faints, I much lament the folly of mine own; I fee holy David in fackcloth and ashes, confuming whole days and nights in mourning for fin, washing his bed with his tears, afflicted in body, tormented in foul, grieving, crying, roaring, for unquietness of heart. Bleffed Paul fubduing his body, by fafting, watching, praying, toiling in the miniftry, and thou my bleffed Saviour, in continual labour and forrow for my fake: how vain is my truft, how falfe my hope, how great my error to believe I run, when I ftand ftill? to expect a triumph without a victory, a victory without a combat.Lord, if many that ftrive to enter in at the ftrait gate, yet fhall not be able: what fhall become of

me? who art fo far from coming to thee; that I every day am running from thee; who am not only oppofite unto thee, but even enmity itself against thee.

Sometimes I feel the ftings and gripings of a wounded confcience, I know myfelf to be a grievous finner, but I quiet my disturbances by thee my Saviour, I will willingly accept of mercy from thee, but grudgingly repine at fervice to thee; thou biddest me indeed to drink freely of the waters of life, but thou commandest me alfo to make my calling and election fure; to work out my falvation with fear and trembling; thou ordainest not the end without the means; if I rebelliously neglect the one, thou mayeft most righteously deny me the other: Lord, what can it profit me to enjoy the pleasures of fin for a season, when I deprive my foul of happiness for ever!

O let this teach me to deplore my dangerous condition, to go on chearfully in the ways of godlinefs, to think no cost too much, no pains too great, no X grief too good, to purchafe heaven; to confider feriously, that time once paft can never be recalled, that this hour may be my last, and bring me to eternity of torments; where the stream is ftilleft, there the channel is deepest; where there is least distrust, there is usually most danger, satan therefore disturbs me not, because I fleep in death; but when thou X to indure for this saker who

died to rideen my poor

quilty soul from sin,

drash & hell.

Lord, fhalt open mine eyes to fee the fubtilty of this deceiver, I fhall then find, that the waters (of fin) are gone over my soul, that I am woefully drowned in the great depth of fecurity, and can expect nothing (without mercy) but fatan's cruelty, and mine own endless mifery.

TO that sweet mercy, therefore, I appeal, with earneftness of soul, and humbleness of heart, bemoaning my fins, bewailing my tranfgreffions.

O Lord, my God, when I confider of thy gracious goodness, and mine own vileness, I am utterly afhamed to appear in thy prefence.

Thou haft often called me to repentance, but I. have not hearkened unto thee, thou haft lovingly invited me to mercy, but I have wilfully refused; thou haft clothed me with thine own garments, and I have shamefully defiled it; thou haft enriched me with thy grace, and I have robbed thee of thine honor. All this, and infinitely more than this, thou haft freely done for me, the worst of finners, and yet for all this I have rebelliously forsaken thee, and most ungraciously been moft unmindful of thee.

And now, Lord, feeing that I am dead and pu trified in fins, and rotten in corruptions, what effe can I expect from thee, but to be buried out of thyfight? and yet thou ftill fayeft unto me, live.

F