Ford. Help to fearch my house this one time: if I find not what I feek, fhew no colour for my extremity, let me for ever be your table-fport; let them fay of me, As jealous as Ford, that fearch'd a hollow wall-nut for his wife's leman 1. Satisfy me once more, once more fearch with me. Mrs. Ford. What hoa, mistress Page! come you and the old woman down; my husband will come into the chamber. Mrs. Page. Yea, by all means, if it be but to fcrape the figures out of your husband's brains. If they can find in their hearts, the poor unvirtuous fat knight fhall be any further afflicted, we two will be still the minifters. Mrs. Ford. I'll warrant, they'll have him publicly fham'd: and, methinks, there would be no period 5 to the jeft, fhould he not be publicly fham'd. Ford. Old woman! what old woman's that? Mrs. Page. Come, to the forge with it, then, Mrs. Ford. Why, it is my maid's aunt of Brent-shape it: I would not have things cool. [Exeunt. ford. SCENE The Garter inn. III. Enter Heft and Bardolph. Bard. Sir, the Germans defire to have three of Ford. A witch, a quean, an old cozening quean! Have I not forbid her my house? She comes of errands, does the? We are fimple men; we do not know what's brought to pafs under the profeffion of fortune-telling. She works by charms, by fpells, by the figure, and fuch daubery 2 as this is: be-your horfes: the duke himself will be to-morrow yond our element: we know nothing. Come at court, and they are going to meet him. down, you witch; you hag you, come down, I Lay. Mrs. Ford. Nay, good sweet husband ;-good gentlemen, let him not strike the old woman. Enter Falfiaff in women's cloaths, led by Mrs. Page. Mrs. Page. Come, mother Prat, come, give me your hand. Ford. I'll prat her:Out of my doors, you witch! [Beats bim.] you hag, you baggage, you poulcat, you ronyon 3! out! out! I'll conjure you, I'll fortune-tell you. [Exit Fal. Mrs. Page. Are you not asham'd? I think, you have kill'd the poor woman. Mrs. Ford. Nay, he will do it :-'Tis a goodly credit for you. Ford. Hang her, witch! Eva. By yea and no, I think the 'oman is a witch indeed: I like not when a 'omans has a great peard; Ifpy a great peard under his muffler. Ford. Will you follow, gentlemen? I beseech you, follow; fee but the iffue of my jealoufy: if I cry out thus upon no trail 4, never truft me when I open again. Page. Let's obey his humour a little further :Come, gentlemen. [Exeunt. Mrs. Page. Trust me, he beat him moft pitifully. Mrs. Ford. Nay, by the mafs, that he did not; he beat him most unpitifully, methought. Hoft. What duke fhould that be, comes so secretly? I hear not of him in the court: let me speakwith the gentlemen; they fpeak English? Bard. Sir, I'll call them to you. Hoft. They fhall have my horfes; but I'll make them pay, I'll fauce them: they have had my houses a week at command; I have turn'd away my other guefts: they must come off; I'll fauce them: [Exeunt. come. Mrs. Page. Within a quarter of an hour. rather will fufpect the fun with cold, [ftand, Page. 'Tis well, 'tis well; no more. Mrs. Page. I'll have the cudgel hallow'd, and hung o'er the altar; it hath done meritorious fer-But let our plot go forward; let our wives vice. Yet once again, to make us public fport, Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow, Where we may take him, and difgrace him for it. Ford. There is no better way than that they spoke of.. Page. How? to fend him word they'll meet him Mrs. Ford. What think you? may we, with the warrant of womanhood, and the witnefs of a good conicience, purfue him with any further revenge? Mrs. Page. The fpirit of wantonnefs is, fure, fcar'd out of him; if the devil have him not in fec fimple, with fine and recovery, he will never, I think, in the way of wafte, attempt us again. Mrs. Ford. Shall we tell our husbands how we have ferved him? in the park At midnight! fie, fie; he will never come. Eva. You fay, he hath been thrown into the rivers; and hath been grievously peaten, as an oid 'oman: methinks, there fhould be terrors in him, 4 This To I Lover. Leman is derived from leef, Dutch, beloved, and man. 2 Dauberies are disguises. 3 Ronyon, applied to a woman, imports much the fame with feall or fcab fpoken of a man. expreision is borrowed from hunting. Trail is the fcent left by the paffage of the game. ery out, is to open or bark. s Meaning, there would be no proper catastrophe. • That is, they mult pay. F 2 that that he should not come: methinks, his flesh is and I will be like a jack-an-apes alfo, to burn the punish'd, he shall have no defires. knight with my taber. Page. So think I too. Ford. This will be excellent. I'll go buy them Mrs. Ford. Devife but how you'll ufe him when vizards. he comes, And let us two device to bring him hither. Mrs. Page. There is an old tale goes, that Sometime a keeper here in Windfor foreft, Page. Why, yet there want not many, that do fear] Mrs. Ford. Marry, this is our device ;- What fhall be done with him? what is your plot Nan Page my daughter, and my little fon, Mrs. Ford. And till he tell the truth, Mrs. Page. The truth being known, Ford. The children muft Be practis'd well to this, or they'll ne'er do 't. Mrs. Page. My Nan fhall be the queen of all the fairies, Finely attired in a robe of white. Page. That filk will I go buy ;-and in that time Shall mafter Slender fteal my Nan away, fide. And marry her at Eaton.- -Go, fend to Falitarf ftraight. Ford. Nay, I'll to him again in the name of Brook He'll tell me all his purpofe... Sure, he'll come. Mrs. Page. Fear not you that: Go, get us proAnd tricking for our fairies. [perties 5 Eva. Let us about it: It is admirable pleasures, and fery honest knaveries. [Exeunt Page, Ford, and Evans. I'll to the doctor; he hath my good will, her. SCENE V. The Garter inn. Hoft. What would it thou have, boor? what, thick-fkin? fpeak, breathe, difcufs; brief, thort, quick, fnap. Simp. Marry, fir, I come to speak with fir John Falftati from matter Slender. Hoft. There's his chamber, his houfe, his caftle, his ftanding-bed, and truckle-bed 7; 'tis painted about with the ftory of the prodigal, fresh and new; Go, knock and call; he'll fpeak like an Anthropophaginian unto thee: Knock, fay. Simp. There's an old woman, a fat woman gone up into his chamber; I'll be fo bold as ftay, fir, 'till the come down: I come to speak with her, indeed. Hoft. Ha! a fat woman! the knight may be robb'd: I'll call.Bully knight! Bully fir John! fpeak from thy lungs military: Art thou there? it is thine hoft, thine Ephefian, calls. Falfaff above. Fal. How now, mine hoft? Hoft. Here's a Bohemian Tartar 9 tarries the 4 Dr. 1 To take, here means to feize or ftrike with a difeafe. 2 Meaning, age. 3 Urchin is a hedgehog; but is here used to fignify any thing little and dwarfish. Ouph is a fairy or goblin. Warburton fays, this fignifics a fong that ftrikes out into wild fentiments beyond the bounds of nature, fuch as thofe whofe fubject is fairy land. 5 Properties are incidenta! neceffaries to a theatre, exclufive of fcenes and dreffes. 6 To trick, is to drefs out. 7 The ufual furniture of chambers in thofe times confifted of a standing-bed, under which was a truckle, or running bed. In the former lay the malter, and in the latter the fervant. 8 That is, a Cannibal. The Holt ufes this highfounding word to aftonith Simple; an effect which he probably likewife means to produce by the word Ep fan, which follows. 9 See the preceding note. coming.. Coming down of thy fat woman: Let her defcend, horfes and money. I tell you for good-will, look bully, let her descend; my chambers are honour-you: you are wife, and full of gibes and vlouting❤ able: Fie! privacy? fie! ftogs, and 'tis not convenient you should be cozon'd; Fare you well. Enter Falfaff. Fal. There was, mine hoft, an old fat woman even now with me; but he's gone. Simp. Pray you, fir, was 't not the wife woman of Brentford? Fal. Ay, marry was it, muffel-fhell '; What would you with her? Enter Caius. Caius. Vere is mine Heft de Farterre? [Exit. Hoft. Here, mafter doctor, in perplexity, and doubtful dilemma. Caius. I cannot tell vat is dat: But it is tell-a-me, dat you make a grand preparation for a duke de Ja. Simp. My mafter, fir, mafter Slender fent to her,miany: by my trot, dere is no duke, dat de court is feeing her go through the street, to know, fir, whe-know, to come: I tell you for good-vill: adieu. ther one Nym, fir, that beguil'd him of a chain, had the chain, or no. Fal. I fpake with the old woman about it. Simp. And what fays the, I pray, fir? Fal. Marry, the fays, that the very fame man, that beguil'd mafter Slender of his chain, cozen'd him of it. Simp. I would I could have spoken with the woman herfelf; I had other things to have spoken with her too, from him. Fal. What are they? let us know. Simp. I may not conceal them, fir. Simp. Why, fir, they were nothing but about miftrefs Anne Page; to know, if it were my mafter's fortune to have her, or no. Fal. 'Tis, 'tis his fortune. Simp. What, fir? Fal. To have her-or no: Go; fay the woman told me fo. Simp. May I be fo bold to fay fo, fir? [Exit. Hofi. Hue and cry, villain, go! affift me, knight; I am undone :-fly, run, hue and cry, villain! I'm undone! [Exit. If it Fal. I would all the world might be cozen'd; for I have been cozen'd, and beaten too. hould come to the ear of the court, how I have been transform'd, and how my transformation hath been wafh'd and cudgel'd, they would melt me out of my fat, drop by drop, and liquor fishermea's boots with me: 1 warrant, they would whip me with their fine wits, till I were as creitfaln as a dry'd pear. I never profper'd fince I forefwore my felf at Primero 3. Well, if my wind were but long enough to fay my prayers, I would repent.Enter Miltrels Quickly. Now! whence came you? Quit. From the two parties, forfooth, ⚫ Fal. The devil take one party, and his dam the other, and fo they thall be both beftow'd! I have fuffer'd more for their fakes, more, than the villainous inconftancy of man's difpofition is able to bear. Quic. And have not they fuffer'd? yes, I war B. Thou art clerkly 2, thou art clerkly, firrant; fpeciously one of them; mistress Ford, good John: Was there a wife woman with thee? heart, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot fee Fal. Ay, that there was, mine hoft; one, that a white spot about her. hath taught me more wit than ever I learn'd before in my life: and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning. Enter Bardolph. Fal. What tell'it thou me of black and blue? I was beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow; and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of Brentford; but that my admirable dex, Bard. Out, alas, fir! cozenage! mere cozenage!terity of wit, counterfeiting the action of an old Haft. Where be my horses? speak well of them, woman, deliver'd me, the knave conftable had varletto. fet me i' the ftocks, i' the common stocks, for a witch. Bard. Run away with the cozeners: for fo foon as I came beyond Eaton, they threw me off, from behind one of them, in a flough of mire; and fet fpurs, and away, like three German devils, three Doctor Fauftus's. Quic. Sir, let me fpeak with you in your cham.. ber: you fhall hear how things go; and, I warrant, to your content. Here is a letter will fay fomewhat. Good hearts, what ado is here to bring Hot. They are gone but to meet the duke, vil-you together! fure, one of you does not serve Lain: do not fay, they are fled; Germans are ho-heaven well, that you are so crof:'d, neft men. Enter Sir Hugh Evans, Eva. Where is mine hoft? Eva, Have a care of your entertainments: there is a friend of mine come to town, tells me, there is three couzin-germans, that has cozen'd all the hofts of Readings, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of Fal. Come up into my chamber. SCENE [Exeunt, VI. Hoft. Mafter Fenton, talk not to me; my mind is heavy, I will give over all. Fent. Yet hear me fpeak: Affift me in my purpose, Faittiff probably calls Simple muffel-fhell, from his flanding with his mouth open, fcholar-like. 3 A game at cards. P 3 2 That is, And And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give thee Fent. From time to time I have acquainted you With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page;. Who, mutually, hath anfwer'd my affection (So far forth as herfelf might be her chufer) Even to my wifh: I have a letter from her Of fuch contents as you will wonder at; The mirth whereof's fo larded with my matter, That neither, fingly, can be manifested, Without the fhew of both: Fat fir John Falftaff Hath a great fcene; the image of the jeft [Shewing a letter. I'll fhew you here at large. Hark, good mine hoft; [one, To-night at Herne's oak, just 'twixt twelve and Muft my fweet Nan prefent the fairy queen; The purpose why, is here2; in which disguise, While other jefts are fomething rank on foot, Her father hath commanded her to flip Away with Slender, and with him at Eaton [fir, Immediately to marry: the hath confented: now, Her mother, even 3 ftrong against that match, And firm for doctor Caius, hath appointed That he fhall likewife fhuffle her away, While other fports are tasking of their minds, Fent. Both, my good hoft, to go along with me; [vicar : Hoft. Well, husband your device; I'll to the Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest, Fent. So fhall I evermore be bound to thee; Befides, I'll make a prefent recompence. [Exeunt, Fal. SCENE PRY ACT V. I. fhape of man, mafter Brook, I fear not Goliah Enter Falfaff and Mrs. Quickly. with a weaver's beam; because I know alío, life is a fhuttle. I am in hafte; go along with RYTHEE, no more pratling ;-go-me; I'll tell you all, mafter Brook. Since I I'll hold: This is the third time; I hope pluck'd geefe, play'd truant, and whipp'd top, I good luck lies in odd numbers. Away, go; they knew not what 'twas to be beaten, till lately. fay, there is divinity in odd numbers, either in nativity, chance, or death.-Away. Quic. I'll provide you a chain; and I'll do what I can to get you a pair of horns. [Exit Mrs. Quickly. Fal. Away, I fay; time wears: hold up your head, and mince ". Enter Ford. How now, mafter Brook? Mafter Brook, the matter will be known to-night, or never. Be you in the Park about midnight, at Herne's oak, and you fhall fee wonders. Ford. Went you not to her yesterday, fir, as you told me you had appointed? Follow me: I'll tell you ftrange things of this knave Ford; on whom to-night I will be reveng'd, and I will deliver his wife into your hand. Follow: Strange things in hand, mafter Brook! follow.[Exeunt. Enter Page, Shallow, and Slender. Page. Come, come; we'll couch i' the caftle ditch, till we fee the light of our fairies.-Remember, fon Slender, my daughter. budget; and by that we know one another. Slen. Ay, forfooth; I have spoke with her, and Fal. I went to her, mafter Brook, as you fee, we have a nay-word 7 how to know one another. like a poor old man: but I came from her, maf- I come to her in white, and cry, mum; fhe cries, ter Brook, like a poor old woman. That fame knave, Ford her husband, hath the finest mad devil of jealoufy in him, master Brook, that ever govern'd frenzy. I will tell you. He beat me grievoufly, in the shape of a woman; for in the Shal. That's good too: But what needs either your mum, or her budget? the white will decipher her well enough.-It hath ftruck ten o'clock. Page. The night is dark; light and fpirits will That is, the reprefentation. 2 In the letter. 3 Even here means as. 4 Perhaps we should read denote. 5 As quaint fignifies fantaftical, the meaning may be, fantastically dreft in green. To mince is to walk with affected delicacy. 7 That is, a watch-werd. become become it well. Heaven profper our sport! No man means evil but the devil, and we fhall know him by his horns. Let's away; follow me. SCEN E III. [Exeunt. Enter Mrs. Ford and Mrs. Page. Mrs. Ford. Sir John? art thou there, my deer? my male deer? Fal. My doe with the black fcut?-Let the fky rain potatoes 2; let it thunder to the tune of Green Sleeves; hail kiffing-comfits 3, and fnow eringoes; let there come a tempeft of provocation, I will fhelter me here. Mrs. Ford. Miftrefs Page is come with me, sweetheart. Enter Miftrefs Page, Miftrefs Ford, and Dr. Caius. Mrs. Page. Maiter doctor, my daughter is in green: when you fee your time, take her by the hand, away with her to the deanery, and dispatch it quickly: Go before into the park; we two must go together. Fal. Divide me like a bribe-buck, each a haunch; Caius. I know vat I have to do; Adieu. [Exit. I will keep my fides to myself, my fhoulders for Mrs. Page. Fare you well, fir. My husband will the fellow of this walk 4, and my horns 1 bequeath not rejoice fo much at the abuse of Falítaff, as he your husbands. Am I a woodman? ha! Speak I will chafe at the doctor's marrying my daughter: like Herne the hunter? Why, now is Cupid a but 'tis no matter; better a little chiding, than a child of confcience; he makes reftitution. As I am great deal of heart-break. a true fpirit, welcome! [Noife within Mrs. Ford. Where is Nan now, and her troop of fairies? and the Welch devil Evans ? Mrs. Page. They are all couch'd in a pit hard by Here's oak, with obfcur'd lights; which, at the very instant of Falstaff's and our meeting, they will at once difplay to the night. Mrs. Ford. That cannot chufe but amaze him. Mrs. Page. If he be not amaz'd, he will be mock'd; if he be amaz'd, he will every way be mock'd. Enter Falftaff with a buck's head on. Fal. The Windfor bell hath struck twelve; the minute draws on: Now, the hot-blooded gods affift me!-Remember, Jove, thou waft a bull for thy Europa; love fet on thy horns.-Oh powerful love! that, in fome refpects, makes a beaft a man ; in fome other, a man a beaft.-You were alfo, Jupiter, a fwan, for the love of Leda ;-Oh, omnipotent love! how near the god drew to the complexion of a goofe ?-A fault done first in the form of a beaft ;-0 Jove, a beaftly fault!-and then another fault in the femblance of a fowl;-think on 't, Jove; a foul fault.- -When gods have hot backs, what shall poor men do? For me, I am here a Windfor ftag; and the fatteft, I think, i' the foreft: Send me a cool rut-time, Jove, or who can blame me to pifs my tallow Who comes here? my doe? catives. Mrs. Page. Alas! what noife? Mrs. Page. Away, away. [The women run out. Fal. I think the devil will not have me damn'd, Quic. Fairies, black, grey, green, and white, Eva. Elves, lift your names; filence, you airy toys. That, ere the fleep, hath thrice her prayers faid, Search Windfor caftle, elves, within and out; A technical phrase spoken of bucks who grow lean after rutting-time, and may be applied to men. 2 Potatoes, when they were first introduced in England, were fuppofed to be strong provo4 That is, for the keeper of this 3 Sugar-plums perfum'd to make the breath fweet. diftrict. By custom, the fhoulders and humbles were a perquifite of the keeper's. 5 The whortleberry. That is, elevate her ideas above fenfual defires and imaginations. 7 Whelfome here fignifies entire perfect. And |