This Grievance I can fay nothing to, till I have confulted Frank Eafy. In the mean time I fhall be obliged to my Correfpondent, if fhe will tell me Why fair Women like Men of dark Complexions, and black Men fair Women, B and of what Complexion fhe herfelt is. Grubstreet Journal, Feb. 15. No. 164. T HE humble REMONSTRANCE of the Ladies of the Cities of London and Weltminster, in behalf of themfelves, and all the female Bodies Cor- C porat in Great Britain, laying open the greeat Inconveniencies, to which their Boroughs in particular will be Subject, from any extenfion of the Laws of Excife. 1. It will oblige us to make an En- D try of the Houle and Place, where our Commodities are kept; fo that our Chambers will be fubject to the Vifits of Officers, whenever they think fit to make a Ruminage. 2. To keep Books of Account of all E Tranfactions is Impracticable, particularly to those who cannot write. 3. If we are obliged to take out Permits, whenever we have Occafion to remove our Commodities, it will be very troublesome, and hinder the Dif- F patch of Bufinefs, by Reason, that Chapmen mult often go away unferved, Permits not being at all Times to be obtained. 4. That if our Veffels are to be gauged, and in a proper manner, it's G prefumed, there would not be found a fufficient Number of Perfons equal to fo great a Work, unless the Standing Army were disbanded. 5. We conceive that the Inftruments now used in Gauging, would by no means be fuitable to our Veffels; fo that H the Government would be put tɔ great Expence for new Tools. 6. We have good Reason to believe, that the Inftruments of the Officers would be often fo much damaged, if not entirely spoiled, that the Government'sExpence in repairing them, would amount to as much as the Money arifing from this new Impofition. 7. We apprehend with great Terror, that it may be in the Power of wicked Officers wilfully to ruin us, by having at the End of their dipping Rods, fomething that may very much hurt, if not entirely spoil our Veffels, and occafion continual Leakage, a Case that has hap→ pen'd to others, and may to us, as we cannot refufe an Entry. 8. The Statutes now in force against adulterating thefe Commodities, lay fuch heavy Penalties on the Adulterer, that fearce any will be found hardy enough to break thro' fuch wholesome Laws; especially when they confider the terrible Examples that have happen'd of late years. 9. We conceive, the chief Defign of the intended Extenfion of Excife, is to prevent the Running of the Commodities aforefaid; which may be done by fuppreffing the Hawkers, who infelt the Streets Night and Day, impudently offering their damag'd Ware to every one, to the great Detriment of the fair Trader. Therefore we humbly hope, as the Honour, Dignity, and Interest of the Nation, depends on the Ufe of our Commodities, that every Member will vigorously and strongly oppose any thing that may tend to our Difadvantage. B the highest Contempt and Indignation to fee him Seulk and Scold in the H-fe of C-ns, the only Place where his Adverfary cannot answer him. It is A however fome Confolation that his Reproach is fome Degree of Praife, fince it comes from a Tongue fo flippant of Abufe against the moft honourable Characters. Had I, fays Walfingham, been one of the Audience in the last and prefent Seffion when he diftinguifh'd me by his little ridiculous Malice, I fhould have had no Concern on hearing myself afperfed by bim. I had indeed. the Satisfaction last Year to hear, that an Honourable Gentleman espoused the C Cause of the Abient and the Injured. For the fake of having one fuch Advocate, I fhould be content with having a thousand Defamers: And I fhould be eafy under any Defamation, if at the fame Time it might happen D as it did laft Week, that the Person abufing me fhould, in the Wantonness of his Scurrility, fall upon a Gentleman of the greateft Honour and Worth, with the bafeft, faljest, and molt cruel Reflections, to the utmoft Indignation. of every Man that heard him. E F I know there is an awful Regard due to the great Affembly, wherein the Scene of this Abufe was laid: But as perfonal Invective can never come under the Privilege of Parliament, neither can it be fuppofed to deferve, or to meet with Protection from a H-se of Cns: If therefore a Gentleman will take the poor Advantage of mifreprefenting a Writer, where he cannot anfwer for himself, the Gentleman must be content with fuch Reply as is in the G Power of that Writer to give him. The Honourable Gentleman was pleaf. ed to fay, that if the Author of this Paper bath had any Money from the Government, he was fure it was very ill laid out.] An Account Stated between him and his little Implements, would not fhew much Generofity, or more Wijdom. The lowest Slaves have had his Audience, and the bafest Infruments his Countenance; nor fhould we H forget, that the Craftsman was honour'd with his Recommendation, as a Writer of the firft Rank and Credit, after having been declared a Profligate and an infamous Perfon by the Vote of this prefent House of Commons: Neither the Honourable Perfon himself, nor his Friends, nor any Man elfe, contradicting. Man. Since Money ill laid out is charged upon the Government, let this Gentleman fay how much has been laid out on his own Account. He jays, he got as little by his Employment as any I fear he is not willing the Truth fhould he known. He coft the Government for every Shilling he put in his Pocket more than half a Crowns and never spent a Farthing for the Honour of the Government. To make this appear Walfingham states the Account between this Hon. Gentleman and the Government, See p. 278,380, Vol. I, The Sum total receiv'd of the Government to his own Ufe, on Account of his being employ'd in the Service of the Crown Charge occafion'd to the Publick, by procuring Employments and Advantages for him. in the Service of the Crown 13,775 13 Q 23,700 00 37,475 13 O Asks, whether all this Miney was not ill laid out? And whether he did not get as much Money by his Employments as any Man who ever enjoy'd them? The Auditor, Feb. 15, N° 12. Onufque fuit biculum Silveftre Siniftræ Ovid. Having confulted Frank Eafy on the Complaint of Eleneja (See P. 75-6) I fhall communicate what I have gather'd from his Converfation. The Romish Countries abound with idle Fellows under the Appellation of Pilgrims, who are equipp'd with sham Reliques, and religious Trinkets; and in their Hands generally bear a long Staff, Staff Frank, by a ludicrous Allufion, C The Votaries of Venus every Month change their walking Implement with as much Circumspection as a Lady the Mount of her Fan. Admirers of black Women chufe the Sculpture of a beautiful Æthiopian; the Ivory Profile D fhews a Liking of the Fair; the round polifh'd Head-picce is us'd to preferve the Softnefs of a plump Palm. Those who prey on the Property of others are diftinguifh'd by the Device of a Husband, whofe Head receives a fupernumerary Embellishment from the Kindness of his Spoufe. The Herculean Body is the most formid ble, as they feem to have retain'd the old Gothick way of arguing, called Argumentum Baculinum, or Cudgel Law. He diftinguishes them by F the Name of Fuftigers. Thele Beargarden Heroes are arm'd with an Oaken Cudgel, of a monitrous Thickness and Length, with a maffy Head of the fame Wood; tho' all their Courage is commonly contain'd in the enormous G Bulk of their Weapon. As to Elenea's Queftion, "Why the shortest Men affect the longeft and heaviest Sticks," Frank fays, it may be in Imitation of inferior Hunters in the Country, who carry a Long Pole wherewith to leap a Ditch in Pursuit of their Game; thus the long Saplings are equally useful to our Diminutives in crefling a Kennel after a Rain. Heavy H Sticks are worn by these undergrown Gentlemen, as Bees, in windy Weather, balance their Bodies with a Pebble carried in their Legs. As to the other Part of Eleneffa's Question, "Why tall perfonible Men, make use of the smallest, and least offenfive Sticks? Frank believes it is either out of Contradiction to the Practice of Short Men, or to fhew that Nature has fupplied them with Faculties fufficient to perform all Actions becoming a MAN, without any borrow'd Help. Order'd, That a Man from five Foot to five Foot and a half may carry a Stick 3 Foot long, the upper part of it to be at most one Inch and a half, and to decrease in a taper Manner to the Ferril. A Man from Five foot and a half to fix foot high to wear a Stick not exceeding 3 foot and a half, in Thickness toward, the Head at most z Inches, to decreafe gradually as the former. Whoever tranfgreffes thefe Rules to be obliged to wear their Hands in their Pockets. No Stick or Cane to be rais'd above half a foot from the Ground, nor trail'd in the Dirt, nor carried under the Arm; but to be borne in the Hand moit remote from the Wall which is always given to the fair Sex. Mr AUDITOR, not you; for I'm told an Auditor was near being demolish'd at the Opern of Achilles, laft Saturday Night: And hearing he had an Eccho with him, my Fears for you increafed. Yours, as much as poffible DOL COMMON. Dear MADAM, Received no other Damage at Gay's new Opera last Saturday Night, than was common to every Auditor there; viz. A very difagreeable Noife in my Ears, very little to amuse my Eyes, and nothing to pleafe my Understanding. I thank you for your Concern, but can make you no Return but what becomes The AUDITOR. Daily Dafip Courant, Feb. 16. Impiger, iracundus, inexorabilis, acer, C Prologue-In the firft Scene, Achilles, -the Glutton Does after Mutton.- Now powing, Now toying; Can ne'er be mended again. cannot but raife Admiration in the Audi- E might be ask'd how, after he was burn to Dirt, he could be fet on Fire? - As the Simile of the Cat was introduc'd in the Beginning of the Opera, it is likewife made to conclude it. The Dignity of Achilles, when leaving the Toys of Love at the Sight of the Armour, is pompoully defcribd by Pufs's leaving her Caterwauling at the Sight of a Mouse. Mr Gay could not deviate into fo much Dulness. He had the Plan given him, but unhappily died, the Play unfinish'd, and the Songs not wrote: But rather than the Scheme fhould fail, the Patriot became the Poet.-Sir W. the Efquire, the Satyrift, and his Grace, held their Confultations: Nor could it be unpleasant to Joan's Flacket is rent and tore — then hear a difcarded Courtier humming outReputation back`d and cut Can never be mended again. My a Dilding, my a Dolding, The Sot infifts in eternizing the Me- Mr Gay was often obliged to own what he never wrote, when the Succefs did not answer; and others took the Reputation of what was approved of, and he willingly refigned Fame to Intereft or Friendship: But his good Friends have for him, than his most inveterate Enewounded his Reputation more by writing mies by writing against him. The Songs in general are fpurious; yet establish Mr Gay's Character, who was faid to have receiv d confiderable Affiftance in thofe F of the Beggar's Opera; fince thofe fuppofed Fog's Journal, Feb. 17. No. 224. is admirably equall d in another Catch on GA Writer in this Journal fays, he a Jealous Woman; who -kerfelf deceives Raifing Fears, which he believes. Hercules's Shirt H has read with Pleafure, The Genuine Thoughts of a Merchant, fhewing, that in all the Libels, Remonftrances, and pretended Letters, against the new Method of Levying the Duties on Tobaces and Wine, there is not fo much as one Word worth answering. This Piece, he is inform'd, is the genuine Production of that great Genius, whofe Speech was lately publifhed in the Free Briton. (See p. 2) The B The Author ufhers in his Work by telling us, that he was made a Convert from the popular Notion about an Excife, by fome Arguments, fent him by an A eminent Merchant, which, turn'd into plain English, fays the Journalist, will run thus.-The Bent of the whole Nation is against an Excife; fo that if the Excife goes on, it will become a Party Word like Sacheverel, &c. throw the Nation into Convulfions, and be of great Detriment to the Publick; ergo, Every reasonable Man ought to be for an Excise. Again: In Holland, Hamburgh, &c. where the People have no other way of railing Taxes, but by an Excife, an Excife is found most con- C venient; ergo, an Excife is the most convenient way of Taxing in England. Again: If all the Evils feared from Excilemen and an Excife could be prevented, i. e. if there was no Excife at all, then an Excife would be a great Blessing to the Nation. Again: Tho' many Evils are apprehended from an Excife, yet there's but one Objection, viz. that about Excifemen, worth answering ; but as Excifemen are only wooden Figures, ergo, that Objection is not worth anfwering. Laftly, The very Jacobites and Tories cry out Liberty, no Excife; ergo, Liberty muft needs be a very bad Thing, and Excife a very good one. He goes on to fome other Paffages which he fays must be understood thus,"There are fome Whigs and Diffenters (about 99 in 100) who join with the Tories and Jacobites, in crying out Liberty; ergo, thefe Whigs and Diffenters are deluded Men; and because they don't as yet know every Part of this Excife-Scheme, as not being in the Projector's Secrets, ergo, 'tis preposterous to think fuch ignorant People are in their right Senfes, or indeed, that they have any Senses at all. D E If an Excife can be impofed without calling it an Excife, furely they'll have no Reason to complain. And if the Manner of levying the Duty is not prejudicial to the Subject, either in his Liberty or Property, then the Subject has no Reafon to complain, that it is prejudicial to him in his Liberty and Property. Ergo, The Subject has no Reafon to complain that an Excife is prejudicial to him in his Liberty and Property. Quotes feveral other Paffages from the faid Piece, and ridicules them in the fame fatyrical way; but the above-recited may be fufficient for a Specimen. The Craftsman, Feb. 17. No. 346. An Addrefs to the Land-holders. Gentlemen. M Muft obferve that it hath always been the Method of ill-defigning Men to divide the People, whom they would enflave; therefore is reviv'd the invidious Diftinction of the landed and trading Intereft, which are really united. For this Reafon I fhall lay before you fome Confiderations on the prefere Scheme, for collecting the Duties on Wine and Tobacco. The immediate Advantage propofed by this Scheme is, that a Surplus, beyond what is now produced by Wine and Tobacco, will be raised, fufficient to anfwer one Shilling in the Pound upor Land. To this it may be anfwerd, that the whole Duties upon thefe Commodities do not amount to near fuch a Sum; and it's very improbable that this Method fhould more than double it. But if it fhould be defign'd to give thefe Duties for a number of Years to G come, as in the Salt Tax, to answer the Land Tax of one Shilling in the Pound for one Year; you should confider whether it be for your Advantage to run in Debt, and mortgage your Eftates to the Publick, on that Account. Confider, if there fhould be a Deficiency, it may, in a year or two, occafion one Shilling in the Pound extraordinary upon Land, to make it good. It being intended to excife Wine and Tobacco imported from Portugal and Virginia, we can't imagine what Rea- H fons the Portugal and Virginia Merchants have to oppofe this Excife, they being the Perfons chiefly affected by it. Carn |