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ses, as you please, madam : but I know my own acts of rebellion against him, yet I fear he is a heart, and can rely upon it.
traitor at heart--and then such vanity!- but I Ara, We are great bullies by nature; but had no time to make great discoveries- it was courage and swaggering are two things, cousin. merely the prologue - The play is to come.
Sop. Since you are as little to be convinced, Ara. Act your part well, or we shall biss you. as I am to be persuaded your servant
Sop. Never fear me; you don't know what a
[Going. mad, raking, wild young Jevil I can be, if I set Ara. Nay, Sophy, this is unfriendly--if you my mind to it, Bell. [Laying hold of ker. are resolved upon your scheme, open to me Ara. You' fright me !-you shall positively be without reserve, and I'll assist you.
no bed-fellow of mine any longer. Sop. Imprimis, then ; I confess to you, that I Sop. I am resolved to ruin my woman, and have a kind of whimsical attachment to Daffo- kill my man, before I get into petticoats again. dil; not but I can see his vanities and laugh at | Ara. Take care of a quarrel though-a rival them.
may be tou rough with you. Ara. And like him better for them .
Sop. No, no, fighling is not the Ivice of these Sop. Pshaw ! don't plague me, Bell-my other times; and, as for a little swaggering, damn it, I lover, the jealous Mr. Tukely
can do it as well as the best of them, Ara. Who loves you too well to be success-1 Ara. Hush, hush! Mr. Tukely is hereful
Sop. Now for a trial of skill; it I deceive him, Sop. And whom I really esteen
you'll allow, that half of my business is done. Ara. As a good sort of a man, ha, ha, ha!
(She walks aside, takes out a glass, and Sop. Nay, should have loved him
looks at the pictures. Ara. Had not a prettier fellow stept in between, who perhaps does not care a farthing for
Enter TUKELY. you
Tuke. Your servant, Miss Bell-I need oot Sop, That's the question, my dear-Tukely, I ask if Miss Sophy is at home, for I believe I say, either stung by jealousy, or unwilling to lose have seen her since you did. me, without a struggle, has intreated me to Ara. Have you, sir? You seem disconcerted. know more of his rival, before I engage too far Mr. Tukely: las any thing happened? with him— Many strange things he has told me, Tuke. A trifle, madan-but I was born to bo which bave piqued me, I must confess, and I trified with, and to be made uneasy at trifles. am now prepared for the proof.
Ara. Pray, what trifling affair has disturbed Aru. You'll certainly be discovered, and put | you thus? to share.
Sop. What's the matter now? [Aside Sop. I have secured my success already. I Tuke. I met Miss Sophy this moment in a Ara, What do you mean?
hackney chair at the end of the street: I knew Sop. I have seen him, conversed with him, her by the pink negligce; but, upon my crossing and am to meet him again to day, by his own the way to speak to her, she turned her head appointment.
away, laughed violently, aud drew the curtain in Ara. Madness! it can't be.
my lace. Sor. But it has been, I tell you
Sop. So, so! well said, jealousy. [Aside. Ara. How? how ? Quickly, quickly, dear So- Ara. She was in haste, I suppose, to get to phy?
her engagement. Sop. When you went to Lady Fanny's last Tuke. Yes, yes, madam; I imagine she had night, and left me, as you thought, little dispos- some engage-ment upon her hands- But sure, ed for a frolic, I dressed me as you see, called madam, her great desire to see her more agreea chair, and went to the King's Arins, asked for able friends, need not be attended with conmy gentleman, and was shewn into a room; he tempt and disregard to the rest of her acquaint. immediately left the company, and came to me. ance. Ara. I tremble for you.
Ara. Indeed, Mr. Tukely, I have so many caSop. I introduced myself as an Italian noble-prices, and follies of my own, that I can't possiman, just arrived: Il Marchese di Macaroni- bly answer for my cousin's too. Ara. Ridiculous ! ha, ha!
Sop. Well said, Bell!
(Aside. Sop. An intimate of Sir Charles Vainlove's, Túke. Answer, miss! No, Heaven forbid you who is now at Rome-I told him my letters should !-for my part, I have given up all my were with my baggage, at the custom-househopes as a lover, and only, now, feel for her as a He received me with all the openness imagina- friend--and indeed as a friend, a sincere friend, ble, and would have introduced me to his friends. I can't but say, that going out in a hackney I begged to be excused, but promised to attend chair, without a servant, and endeavouring to him to-day, and am now ready, as you see, to conceal herself, is somewhat incompatible with keep my word,
Miss Sopby's rank and reputation. This I speak Ara. Astonishing !--and what did you talk as a friend, not as a lover, Miss Bell! pray mind about?
that. Sop. Of various things women among the Ara. I see it very plainly, Mr. Tukely, and it rest; and though I have not absolutely any open gives me great pleasure, that you can be so in
different in your love, and yet so jealous in your your insolence would take advantage of my forfriendship
bearance, I must correct it at all eventsTuke. You do me honour, miss, by your good
[Draws. opinion. Walks about, and sees Sophy. --Who's that, pray?
Ara. A gentleman who is waiting for Sophy. Tuke. What is all this?
Tuke. I think she has gentlemen waiting for Sop. What would you set your courage to a ber every where.
poor weak woman ? You are a bold Briton, inSop. I am afraid, sir, [Coming up to him with deed! Ha, ha, ha! her glass.) you'll excuse me, that notwithstand- Tuke. What, Sophia? ing your declaration, and this lady's compli-| Ara. Sophia! No, no; she is in a hackneyments, there is a little of the devil, called jea- chair, you know, without a servant, in her pink lousy, at the bottom of all this uneasiness. negligee-Ha, ha, ha! Tuke. Sir!
Tuke. I am astonished ! and can scarce beSop, I say, sir, wear vour cloak as long as lieve my own eyes-What means this metamoryou please, the hoof will peep out, take my word posis? for it,
Sop. 'Tis in obedience to your commands Tuke. Upon my word, sir, you are pleased to Thus equipped, I have got access to Daffodil, honour me with a familiarity which I neither ex- and shall know whether your picture of him is pected, or iudeed desired, upon so slight an ac- drawn by your regard for me, or resentment to quaintance.
him, I will sound him, from his lowest note Sop. I dare swear you did not.
to the top of his compass.' [Turns off, and hums a tune. Tuke. Your spirit transports nie--This will Tuke. I don't understand this !
be a busy, and, I hope, a happy day for me. I Ara. This is beyond expectation. [Aside. I have appointed no less than five ladies to meet
Sop. I suppose, sir, you never was out of Eng- me at the widow Damply's; to each of whom, land'
[Picking her teeth. as well as yourself, the accomplished Mr. DaffoTuke. I presume, sir, that you are mistaken- dil has presented his heart; the value of which I never was so foolishly fond of my own coun- I am resolved to convince them of this night, try, to think that nothing good was to be had out for the sake of the whole sex, af it; nor so shamefully ungrateful to it, to pre-! Sop. Pooh, pooh! that's the old story-You for the vices and fopperies of every other nation, are so prejudicedto the peculiar advantages of my own.
Tuke. I ain afraid 'tis you who are prejudicSop. Ha, ha! well said, Old England, i'faith!-- ed, madam ; for, if you will believe your own Now, madam, if this gentleman would put this eyes and earsspeech into a farce, and properly lard it with Sop. That I will, I assure you; I shall visit roast beef, and liberty. I would engage the gall him immediately. He thinks me in the country; leries woald roar and balloo at it for half an hour and, to confirm it, I'll write to him as froin together, ha, ha, lia!
thence. But ask me no more questions about Ara. Now the storm's corning. [Aside. what I have done, and what is to be done; for I
Tuke. If you are not engaged, sir, we'll ad- have not a moment to lose; and so, iny good journ to the next tavern, and write this farce be- friend Tukely, yours My dear Bell, I kiss tween us.
your hand. (Kisses her hand. You are a fine Sup. I fancy, sir, by the information of your woman, by leavens! Here, Joseppi, Brunello, face, that you are more inclined to tragedy, than Francesi, where are my fellows there? Call me comedy
a chair. Vira l'Amor, et libertaTuke. I shall be inclined to treat you very ill,
[Erit, singing, you don't walk out with me.
Ara. Ha, ha! there is a spirit for you! Well, Sop. I have been treated so very ill already, now, what do you stare at? You could :100 weli in the little conversation I have had with you, desire inore- O, fie, fie ! don't sigh and bite that you must excuse my walking out for more your fingers ; rouse yourself, man; set all your of it; but if you'll persuade the lady to leave the wits to work; bring this faithless Corydon to room, I'll put you to death-damme
shame, and I'll be banged if the prize is not
Going up to him. yours. If she returns in time, I'll bring her to Ara. For Heaven's sake! what's the matter, the widow Damply's gentlemen?
Tuke. Dear Miss ArabellaTuke. What can I do with this fellow?
Ara. Well, well; make me a fine speech ano. Sop. Madam, don't be alarmned: this affair ther time. About your business nowwill be very short; I am always expeditious; Tuke. I fiya
[E.rit. and will cut bis throat, without shocking you in Ara. What a couple of blind fools bas love the least :--Come, sir, [Draws.] if you won't made of this poor fellow, and my dear cousin defend yourself, I must kick you about the room. Sophy! Little do they imagine, with all their
[ Advancing. wise discoveries, that Daffodil is as faithful a loTuke. Respect for this lady, and this house, ver, as he is an accomplished gentleman. I pity has curbed my resentment hitherto : But as these poor deceived women with all my heart!
But how will they stare, when they find that he so young and pressing, that I'll give it up, Rufhas artfully pretended a regard for thein, the fle;—the town talks of us, and I am satisfied. better to conceal his real passion for me! They! Ruf, Pray, sir, with submission, for what end will certainly tear my eyes out: and what will do you write to so many ladies, and make such cousin Sophiy say to me, when we are obliged to l a rout about thein ? there are now upon the list declare our passion? No matter what'Tis the balf a dozen maids, a lensb of wives, and the fortune of war; and I shall only serve her, as widow Damply. I know your honour don't she and every other friend would serve me in intend mischief; but what pleasure can you the same situation
have in deceiving them, and the world? for you
are thought a terrible young gentleman. A little cheating never is a sin,
Daf. Why that pleasure, booby! At love or cards-provided that you win. Ruf. I don't understand it. What do you in
tend to do with them all? Ruin them?
Daf. Not I, faith.
Daf. That's their business ; not mine.
Ruf. Will you marry any one of thein? Daf. But are you sure, Ruffle, that you deli- Daf. O, no! that would be finishing the game vered the letter last night, in the manner I or- at once. If I preferred one, the rest would dered you?
take it ill; so, lecause I won't be particular, I Ruf. Exaetly, sir.
give them all hopes, without going a step furDaf. And you are sure, that Mr. Dotterel ther. saw you slip the note into his wife's hand ? ! Ruf. Widows can't live upon such slender
Ruf. I have alarmed him, and you may be as- diet. sured, that he is as uneasy as you would wish to Daf. A true sportsman has no pleasure but in have him. But I should be glad, with your bo- the chase; the game is always given to those nour's leave, to have a little serious conserva- who have less taste, and better stomachs. tion with you; for my mind forebodes much! Ruf. I love to pick a bit I must confess. peril to the bones of your bumble servant, and Really, sir, I should not care what became of very little satisfaction to your honour.
half the women you are pleased to be merry Daf. Thou art a most incomprehensible with but, Miss Sophy, sure, is a heavenly creablock bead
ture, and deserves better treatment; and to Ruf. No great scholar or wit, indeed: but I make love to her cousin, tvo, in the same house! can feel an oak sappling, as well as another ; that is very cruel. ay, and I should have felt one last night, if I Daf. But it amuses one-besides they are had not had the heels of all Mr. Dotterel's fa- both fine creatures. And how do I know, if I mily-I had the whole pack after me - loved only one, but the other might poison herDaf. And did not they catch you?
self? Rüf. No, thank Heaven
Ruf. And when they know that you have Daf. You was not kicked, then ?
loved them both, they may poison one another. Ruf. No, sir.
-This affair will make a great noise. Daf. Nor caned?
Daf. Or I have taken a great deal of pains Ruf. No, sir.
for nothing. But, no more prating, sirrah ; Daf. Nor dragged through a horse-pond? while I read my letters, go and ask Harry what Ruf. 0, lord ! No, sir.
cards and messages he has taken in this mornDaf. That's uplucky
ing. Ruf. Sir!
Ruf. There's no mending him! Daf. You must go again, Ruffle, to-night;/
[Erit RUFFLE. perhaps you may be in better luck.
Daf. (Opens letters. This is from the widow • Ruf: if I go again, sir, may I be caned, kick- Damply. I know her scrawl at a mile's distance ed, and horse-ponded for my pains. I believe I -she pretends that the fright of her busband's have been lucky enough to bring an old house death hurt her nerves so, that her hand has sbook over your head.
ever since-ha, ha, ha! It has hurt her spelling Daf. What do you mean?
too, for here is joy with a G; ha, ha! poor cresRuf. Mr. Dotterel only hobbled after me, to ture! [Reads.] Hum-hum-hum. Well said, pay me for the postage of your letter; but being widow; she speaks plain, faith, and grows or a little out of wind, he soon stopt to curse and gent. I must get quit of her she desires a tete swear at io. I could hear him mutter some-a tête ; which, with widows, who have suffered thing of scoundrel, and pimp, and my master, much for the loss of her husband, is, as Captain and villain--and blunderbuss and saw pit; and Bobadil says, a service of danger. So, I am of, then he shook his stick, and looked like the ropens another.] What the devil have we here! dev:l!
A bill in Chancery: Oh, no! my tailor's billDaf. Blunderbuss, and saw pit! This busi- Sum Total, three hundred and seventy-four ness grows a little serious, and so we'll drop it. pounds, eleven shillings, and five pence, three
The husband is so old and peevish, and she farthings. Indeed, Monsieur Chicaneau, this is a damned bill, and you will be damned for mak-, but this morning-There are quicker successions ing it; therefore, for the good of your soul, in your honour's list, than the court-calendar. Mons. Chicaneau, you must make another. Daf. Strike off Mrs. Dotterell, and the widow [Tears it. The French know their consequnce, Damply. and use as accordingly. (Opens another. This Ruf! They are undone. [Strikes them out. is from Newmarket.
Ser. A lady, Mr. Rufile, in a chair, must speak 'I would not have you think of matching with you. Cherry-Derry with Gingerbread; he is a terri-! Daf. Did she ask for me? See, Ruffle, who ble horse, and very covetous of his ground.-Iit is.
[Erit. have chopt Hurlothrumbo for the Roan mare. Ser. No, your honour; but she looked quite and fifty pounds. Sir Roger has taken the flustrated. match off your hands, which is a good thing :) Daf. Well, go below, and be careful not to for the mare has the distemper, and must have let any old gentleman in this morning; and, d'ye forfeited. I flung his honour's groom, though hear? if any of the neighbours should inquire he was above an hour in the stable. The nut who the lady is, you may say it is a relation ;meg grey, Custard, is matched with Alderman. and be sure smile, do you hear? when you tell Alderman has a long wind, and will be too hard | them so. for Custard.
Ser. I shall your honour--He, he, he! I am never melancholy.
[Erit. I am, your honour's
Daf. That fellow's a character.
Enter RUFFLE. Whip is a genius, and a good servant. I have Ruf. Sir, it is Mrs. Dotterel; she has had a not as yet lost above a thousand pounds by my terrible quarrel with her husband about your horses; but such luck can't always last.
letter, and has something to say of consequence
to you both-she must see you, she says. Enter Ruffle, with cards..
Daf. I won't see her- Why would you say
that I was at home You know I hate to be Ruf. There's the morning's cargo, sir. | alone with them, and she's so violent too
[Throws them down upon the table. Well, well, shew her up-- This is so unDaf. Hey-day! I can't read them in a month; | luckypr’ythee, Ruffle, set down my invitations from the Ruf. He hates to see duns he never intends cards, according to their date, and let me see to pay.
[Exit RUFFLE. them to-morrow morning- So much reading Daf. What shall I do with her? This is worse would distract me.
than meeting her husband with a blunderbuss in Ruf. And yet these are the only books that a saw-pit. gentlemen read now-a-days.
Enter Mrs. DOTTEREL, and RUFFLE. Enter a Servant.
Dear Mrs. Dotterel, this is so obligingSen. An' please your honour, I forgot to tell Ruffle, don't let a soul come near me. (Aloud.) you, that there was a gentleman here last night. -And, harky'e, don't leave us long together, and I've forgot his name.
let every body up that comes.
[Aside. Ruf Old Mr. Dotterel, perhaps?
| Ruf.'What a deal of trouble here is about Ser. Old; no, no, he looks younger than his nothing !
[Erit RUFFLE. honour. I believe he's mad, he can't stand still Mrs. Dot. In the name of virtue, Mr. Daffo& moment; he first capered out of the chair, and dil, I hope you have not given any private orwhen I told him your honour was not at home, ders, that may in the least derogate from that he capered into it again—said he would call absolute confidence which I place in your hoagain, jabbered something, and away he went, nour? singing.
Daf. You may be pefectly easy under this Dat Tis the Marquis of Maccaroni; I saw roof, madam. I hope, I am polite enough not to bun at the King's Arms yesterday : Admit him let my passions of any kind run too great lengths when be comes, Harry.
in my own house. Ser. I shall, your honour-I can neither write Mrs. Dot. Nothing but absolute necessity or remember these outlandish names.
could have made me take this imprudent step
[Erit Servant. I am ready to faint with my apprehensionsDaf. Where is my list of women, Ruffle, and Heigh ho ! the places of their abode, that we may strike off Daf. Heaven forbid !--I'll call for some assome, and add the new acquisitions ?
[Going to ring. Ruf. What, alter again! I wrote it out fair Mrs. Dot. Let your bell alone! Stopping
him.] You're always calling for assistance, I suspected your infamy, and having this proof of think--you never give one time to come to one's it, I could stab your treacherous heart, and my self-Mr. Dotterel has seen your letter, and vows own weak one-Don't offer to stir, or ring your vengeance and destruction-Why would you be bell; for, by Heavens, I'llso violent and imprudent.
(Catches hold of him. Daf The devil was in me, madam ; but I re- Daf. I stir! I am never so happy, as when I pent it from my soul; it has cured me of being am in your company. violent.
Mrs. Dot. Thou liest: Thou art never so Mrs. Dot. Come, come, don't take it too deep- happy as when thou art deceiving, and betraying ly neither; I thought it proper, at all hazards, our foolish sex— and all for what? Why, to let you know what had happened, and to in- for the poor reputation of having that, which treat you, by that affection you have sworn to thou hast neither power nor spirit to enjoy. me, to be careful of my reputation.
Daf. Ha! I hear somebody coming-Now for Daf. That I will indeed, madam; we can't a rapture. [ Aside.] Talk not of power or spiritbe too careful.
Heaven, that has made you fair, has made me Mrs. Dot. Well, Mr. Daffodil, I am an un-strong- o! forgive the madness which your happy woman-married to one I cannot love; beauty has occasioned ! and loving one I ought to shun-It is a terrible
[Throws himself upon his knees. situation, Mr. Daffodil Daf. It is indeed, madam- I am in a ter
Enter Serdant. rible one too_Would I was well out of it!
[ Aside. Ser. The Marquis of MacaroonsMrs. Dot. Do you know, Mr. Daffodil, that
[Erit Servant. if I had not been very religious, my passions would have undone me But you must give
Enter Sophia me time, for nothing but that, and keeping the Mrs. Dot. Ha ! [Screams.] I am betrayed ! best company, will ever conquer my preju
[They all stare, and DAFFODIL seemingly dices
astonished. Daf. I should be very ungenerous not to al- Soph. Mrs. Dotterel, by all that's virtuous ! low you time, madam-three weeks or a month, [Aside.]-Signior Daffodillo-resto confuso, tat I hope will do the business-Though, by my ho- I am com si mal-a-proposito. nour, I got the better of mine in half the time Daf. Dear marquis, no excuse, I beg-nothing What is Ruffle doing?
[ Aside. at all - a relation of mine-my sister only-Miss Mrs. Dot. He's very cold, methinks; but I'll Daffodil ; this is il Merchese de Maccaroni, an try him further-Looky'e, Mr. Daffodil, you must intimate of Sir Charles Vainlove's—this was curb your passions, and keep your distance- lucky.-[Aside. ]-Well, then, my dear sister, I Fire is catching, and one does not know the con- will wait upon you to-morrow, and settle the sequences when once it begins to spread. whole affair-Aloud, -I am the most miser
Daf. As you say, madam, fire is catching; 'tis able of mortals, and have lost the inost precious dangerous to play with it; and as I am of the moments of my life. tinder kind—as one may say we had better, as
Aside to MRS. DOTTEREL. you say--madam-change the subject.-Pray, Mrs. Dot. You are a villain! I despise you, did you ever hear of the pug-dog that you adver- and detest you, and will never see you more. tised ? It was a very pretty creature-what was
Exit Mas. DOTTEREL. his name, madam?
Daf. Ha, ha, ha! my sister has a noble spirit, Mrs. Dot. Daffodil, sir!
iny lord. [Stifling her passion. Soph. Mi dispiace infinamente-it tisplis me, Daf. Madam!
| tat l'haf interrumpato gli affari of your famili. Mrs. Dot. Could I love and esteem any thing, Daf. It is the old family business, my lord; and not call it Daffodil?—What a wretch! and so old, that, by my honour, I am quite tired
[Aside. of it. Daf. You do me honour, madam-I don't like Soph. I hate him already.-[Aside. Signor her looks; I must change the discourse. (Aside.] Daffodillo, she is una belissima sorella, in verità, Upon my soul, Mrs. Dotterel, this struggle is too a very prit' sis' intit. much for man: My passions are now tearing Daf. I must confess to you, my lord, that my me to pieces, and if you will stay, by heaven I sister is a young distressed damsel, married to will not answer for the consequences !
an old gentleman of the neighbourhood, ha, ha, Mrs. Dot. Consequences! What conse ba! quences! Thou wretched, base, false, worthless Soph. O Cara Inghilterra! vat a fortunata animal!
contrée is tis! te olt men marri de yong fine Daf. You do me honour!
[Bowing, girl, and te yong fine girl visite te yong signorsMrs. Dot. Canst thou think, that I am so 0, preciosa libertà ! blinded by my passion, not to see thy trea- Daf. Indeed, my lord, men of fashion, here, cherous, mean, unmanly evasions !~I have long have some small privileges; we gather our roses