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Then we'll drink like our betters, and laugh, 1 Kit. No, no! do you put their ladyships into sing, and love,

the pantry, and I'll take his grace into the coalAnd when sick of one place, to another we'll hole. mode;

Visitors. Any where, any where— up the For, with little and great, the best joy is to rove. chimney, if you will. Chorus. Both high and low in this do agree, Phi. There, in with you! That 'tis here, fellow-servant,

[They all go into the pantry. And there, fellore-servant,

Lov. Without.] Philip, Pbilip !
And all in a livery.

Phi. Coming, sir! [Aloud.] Kitty, have you

never a good book to be reading of? Phi. How do you like it, my lord duke? Kit. Yes, here is one. Duke. It is a damned vile composition !

Phi. Egad, this is black Monday with us. Sit Phi. How so?

down-Scem to read your book- Here he is, Duke. O very low ! very low, indeed ! as drunk as a piper

[They sit down. Sir Har. Can you make it better? Duke. I hope so.

Enter Lovel, with pistols, affecting to be drunk; Sir Har. That is very conceited.

FREEMAN following. Duke. What is conceited, you scoundrel? Lov. Philip, the son of Alexander the Great,

Sir Har. Scoundrel ! You are a rascal; I'll where are all my myrmidons ? What the devil poll you by the nose.

[All rise. makes you up so early in the morning? Duke. Look ye, friend, don't give yourself Phi. He is very drunk, indeed. [ Aside.] Mrs. airs, and make a disturbance among the ladies Kitty and I had got into a good book, your bo-Ifyou are a gentleman, name your weapons. nour.

Sir Har. Weapons! What you will Pis. Free. Ay, ay; they have been well employe tols

ed, I dare say-ha, ha, ha! Duke. Done-behind Montague-house. Loo. Come, sit down, Freeman-lie you there." Sir Har. Done-with seconds!

[Lays his pistols doron.] I come a little unexDuke. Done!

pectedly, perhaps, Philip? Phi. Oh, for shame, gentlemen! My lord Phi. A good servant is never afraid of being duke -Sir Harry, the ladies ! fie!

caught, sir. [Duke and Sir Harry affect to sing. I Lov. I have some accounts that I must setPhi. [A violent knocking.) What the devil tle can that be, Kitty?

Phi. Accounts, sir! To-night? Kit. Who can it possibly be?

| Lov. Yes, tv-night-I find myself perfectly Phi. Kingston, run up stairs and peep. Erit clear_You shall see I'll settle them in a twinka KINGSTON.] It sounds like my master's rap- ling. Pray Heaven, it is not he.

Phi. Your honour will go into the parlour?

Lov. No, I'll settle them all here-
Enter Kingston.

Kit. Your honour must not sit here.
Well, Kingston, what is it?

Loo. Why not? King. It is master and Mr. Freeman-I peep Kit. You will certainly take cold, sir ; the ed through the key-hole, and saw them by the room has not been washed above an hour. lamplight Tom bas just let them in

Loo. What a cursed lie that is! [Aside. Phi. The devil he has ! What can have Duke. Philip, Philip, Philip! [Peeping out. brought him back?

Phi. Pox take you ! hold your tongue Kit. No matter what- away with the

Aside. things

Free. You have just nicked them in the very Phi. Away with the wine! Away with the minute.

Aside to LOVEL. plate! Here, Coachman, Cook, Cloe, Kingston, Lov. I find I have; mum. (Aside to FREEbear a hand! out with the candles ! - Away, man.] Get some wine, Philip. [Exit Pullip.1 away! [They carry away the table, &c. Though I must eat something before I drink; Visitors. What shall we do? What shall we do? | Kitty, what have you got in the pantry?

They all run about in confusion. Kit. In the pantry Lard, your honour! we Kit. Run up stairs, ladies!

are at board wages Phi. No, no, no ! He'll see you, then

Free. I could eat a morsel of cold meat. Sir Har. What the devil bad I to do here? | Lov. You shall have it H ere, [Rises.] Duke. Pox take it, face it out.

open the pantry door; I'll be about your boardSir Har. O, no! these West Indians are very wages! I have treated you often, now you shall fiery.

treat your masterPki. I would not have him see any of you for Kit. If I may be believed, sir, there is not a the world.

scrap of any thing in the world in the pantry. Loo. [Without.] Philip! Where's Philip?

[Opposing him. Phi. Oh, the devil! he's certainly coming down Lod. Well, then, we must be contented, Freestairs-Sir Harry, run down into the cellar. My man. Let us have a crust of bread and a bottle lord duke, get into the pantry-Away, away! I of wine.

(Sits down again,

Kit. Sir, had not my master better go to bed!! Phi. Your honour is at present in liquor; but, [Makes signs to FREEMAN, that Lovel is in the morning, when your honour is recovered, drunk.

I will set all to rights again. Lov. Bed ! not I- I'll sit here all night, Lov. (Changing his countenance.] We'll set "Tis very pleasant, and nothing like variety in life. all to rights now-There, I am sober, at your

Sir Har. [Peeping.] Mrs. Kitty- Mrs. service. What have you to say, Philip? (Pullip Kitty

starts.] You may well start-Go, get out of my Kit. Peace, on your life!

(Aside. sight! Loo. Kitty, what voice is that?

Duke. Sir, I have not the honour to be known Kit. Nobody's, sir. Hem !

to you, but I have the honour to serve bis grace Lov. (Poilip brings in wine. Soh very the Duke of well- Now, do you two march off

Lov. And the impudence, familiarity to asMarch off, I say—

sume his title? Your Grace will give me leave Phi. We can't think of leaving your honour. to tell you, that is the door; and, if you ever For, egad, if we do, we are undone. [Aside. enter there again, I assure you, my lord duke, I

Lov. Begone--My service to you, Freeman. will break every bone in your lordship's skin ! This is good stuff

Begone! Free. Excellent.

Duke. [Aside.] Low-bred fellows! Erit. [Somebody in the pantry sneezes. Lov. I beg your ladyship's pardon; perhaps, Kit. We are undone ! undone! [Aside. they can't go without chairs-ha, ha, ha! Phi. Oh, that is the duke's damned rapee! Free. Ha, ha, ha! [Sir Harry steals off.

Aside. Lady Char. This comes of visiting commoners. Lov. Did not you hear a noise, Charles ?

[Erit. Free. Somebody sneezed, I thought.

Lady Bab. They are downright Hottenpots. Lov. Damn it, there are thieves in the house

(Exit. -I'll be among them. [Takes a pistol. Phi. 1 I hope your honour will not take away

Kit. Lack-a-day, sir! it was only the cat; Kit. Sour bread ? they sometimes sneezes for all the world, like a Loo. Five hundred pounds will set you up in christian ; here, Jack, Jack ! he has got cold, sir / a chocolate house. You'll shine in the bar, maPuss— Puss

dam. I have been an eye-witness of your roLov. A cold : then, I'll cure him. Here guery, extravagance, and ingratitude. Jack, Jack ; Puss, Puss

Kit: Oh, sir—Good sir ! Kit. Your honour won't be so rash-Pray, I your honour, don't

(Opposing. Loo. You, madam, may stay here till to-morLov. Stand off! here, Freeman! here's a row morning-And there, madam, is the book barrel for business, with a brace of slugs, and you lent me, which I beg you'll read--night and well primed, as you sce- Freeman, I'll morning before you say your prayers. hold you five to four; nay, I'll hold you two to Kit. I am ruined and andone! (Exit. one, I hit the cat through the key-hole of that Lov. But you, sir, for your villainy, and (what pantry-door.

| I hate worse) your hypocrisy, shall not stay a Free. Try, try; but I think it impossible. minute longer in this house ; and here comes an

Loo. I am a damned good marksman. honest man to shew you the way out. Your keys, [Cocks the pistol, and points it to the pantry sir

[Puilip gives the keus. door.] Now, for it! [A violent shriek, and all discovered.] Who the devil are these? Que,

Enter Tom. two-three-four

Phi. They are particular friends of mine, sir; Tom, I respect and value you; you are an honest servants to some noblemen in the neighbourhood. servant, and shall never want encouragement

Lov. I told you there were thieves in the Be so good, Tom, as to see that gentleman out house.

of my house, (Points to PHILIP.) and then tako Free. Ha, ha, ha!

charge of the cellar and plate. Phi. I assure your honour they have been en- Tom. I thank your honour; but I would not tertained at our own expence, upon my word. rise on the ruin of a fellow-servant.

Kit. Yes, indeed, your honour, if it was the Loo. No remonstrances, Tom; it shall be as last word I had to speak.

I say. Lov. Take up that bottle. (Philip takes up a Phi. What a cursed fool have I been! bottle with a ticket to it, and is going off.] Bring

[Exeunt Servants. it back. Do you usually entertain your company

Love. Well, Charles, I must thank you for my with Tokay, Monsieur?

frolic: it has been an wholesome one to me; have Phi. I, sir, treat with wine!

I done right? Lov. O yes, from humble port to imperial Free. Entirely: No judge could have deterTokay, too. Yes, I loves Kokay.

mined better. As you punish the bad, it WAS

Mimicking himself. but justice to reward the good. Phi. How! Jemmy my master!

Love. A faithful servant is a worthy charac * Kit. Jemmy! the devil !


Free. And can never receive too much encou-1 Loo. What manners must those be which ragement.

they can imitate? Loo, Right!

Free. True. Free. You have made Tom very happy.

Lov. If persons of rank would act up to Lov. And I intend to make your Robert so too. their standard, it would be impossible that their Every honest servant should be made happy, servants could ape them; but when they affect

Free. But what an insufferable piece of assur- every thing that is ridiculous, it will be in the ance is it in some of these fellows to affect and power of any low creature to follow their eximitate their masters' manners?


[Ereunt omnes.

[blocks in formation]

SCENE I.-Carmine's Painting Room, connections, private recommendations, and an

easy, genteel method of flattering, is to supply Enter CARMINE, followed by the Boy.

the delicacy of a Guido, the colouring of a Ru

bens, and the design of a Raphael- all their Car. Lay these colours in the window, by the qualities, centering in one man, without the first pallet. Any visitors, or messages ?

requisite, would be useless; and, with these, Boy. 'Squire Feltree has been here, and in- not one of these is necessary. sists upon Miss Racket's picture being immediately finished and carried home-As to his

Enter Boy, with the slate. wife and children, he says, you may take your Car. Let's see- Ob! lady Pentweazel from own time.

Blow-bladder-street-Admit her, by all means ! Car. Well

and if Puff or Varnish should come, I am at Boy. Here has been a message too from my home. [Exit Boy.] Lady Pentweazel! ha, ha! Lady Pen- I can't remember her name, but Now, here's a proof that avarice is not the only 'tis upon the slate. She desires to know if you or last passion old age is subject to This suwill be at home about noon,

| perannuated beldame gapes for flattery, like a Car. Fetch it. [Erit Boy.] Was the whole of nest of unfledged crows for food; and with our profession confined to the mere business of them, too, gulps down every thing that's offered it, the employment would be pleasing as well as her—no matter how coarse, Well, she shall be profitable; but, as matters are now managed, fed ; I'll make her my introductory key to the the art is the last ching to be regarded. Family whole bench of aldermen.

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