A COMMERCIAL TRANSACTION.

51

weeks elapse, and still no sale. At length he writes to each correspondent to make some disposition of his manufactures; if they can't get money for them, at least to exchange them, no matter at what reasonable sacrifice, for any other goods. Under these instructions, the stockingfactor calls upon the night-cap agent, both unknown to each other in connection with their principal, and 'names his views; he wishes to exchange a lot of superior cotton stockings for some other goods; he is not particular what kind, as the transaction is for a friend, who is desirous of 'closing his stock.' The man at first can think of nothing which he would like to exchange for so large a supply of stockings; but at length a bright thought strikes him. I have,' said he, a consignment of cotton night-caps from an old correspondent, which I shall not object to exchange for your stockings.' The bargain was soon closed. The stocking-factor wrote back at once that he had at length been enabled to comply with the instructions of his principal. He had exchanged his stockings for a superior article of night-cap,' in an equal quantity, which he was assured were likely to be much in demand before a great while!

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The next day came a letter from the night-cap agent, announcing his success, and appended to the letter was a big bill for commissions! As YELLOWPLUSH would say, Fanzy that gent's feelinks!'

· 52

MEDICAL NOMENCLATURE.

WE suggested, not long since, that a simplification of the nomenclature of the law would not be amiss; and we ventured to offer a few arguments in support of that position. We are quite of the opinion that a similar simplification of Medical Nomenclature would prove of service to the masses. We have sometimes seen the necessity of this very ludicrously illustrated. Very much confounded was our friend Doctor DOANE, a few years since, by a remark of one of his patients. The day previous, the Doctor had prescribed that safe and palatable remedy, the 'syrup of birch-thorn,' and had left his prescription duly written in the usual cabalistic characters: Syr. Rham. Cath? On enquiring if the patient had taken the medicine, a thunder-cloud darkened her face; lightning flashed from her eyes; and she roared out: 'No! I can read your doctor-writing and I aint a-goin to take the Syrup of Ram-Cats for any body under GOD's heaven!' 'Hence we view the great necessity there is' of a material change in our medical nomenclature.

NUMBER TWO.

AN INDEPENDENT STAGE-COACH DRIVER: THE RETORT CONCLUSIVE: THE SEA AND ITS INFLUENCES: THE DELUDED DOG AND REFRACTORY LOBSTER : DEATH OF THE FIRST-BORN - AN AFFECTING INCIDENT: A DRY PUMP: EXPERIMENT UPON THE MUSICAL ORGANS OF A JACK-ASS: THE CLOUDLESS SKIES' OF PARADISE: A RAIL-ROAD 'RECUSSANT: A LITTLE EVENING-SCENE IN THE SANCTUM: HUMORS OF AN ELECTION - THE CHALLENGED 'FRIEND:' THE TRUE HERO-AN AUTHENTIC ANECDOTE: NATURAL HISTORY — THE FLAMINGO PUZZLING QUESTIONS IN 'LOGIO: REMINISCENCES IN THE LITTLE CHURCH AT LAKE-GEORGE.

ANY readers will remember Mrs. KIRKLAND's story

MANY

6

in her New Home,' of the Michigan stage-driver, whodrew rein' in a violent autumn-storm at the gate of one of the far-scattered cabins of a western forest, into which he ran, leaving his passengers, a burly Englishman and two querulous, stuck-up' daughters, to follow him, as best they might. The doughty JOHN BULL came in after him, leading his daughters, with rueful faces and sadly bedraggled skirts, all three looking grouty and glum enough. 'I say,' said the Englishman to the driver, who had ensconced himself in a warm and cozy seat by the fire, 'I say, that luggage ought to be brought in, ye kno'. Wal, I should think so, tew. If 't was mine, I should bring it in, any how. T may get sp'ilet. Well, fellow, why

54

AN INDEPENDENT

DRIVER.

Why don't I bring it in?' said an unmistakable sneer; 'why, Guess not that's a berry that about these diggin's. I drive

don't you bring it in? the other, slowly and with I aint your servant, be I? don't grow on the bushes you, Square, and I don't do nothin' else!' This incident came to mind a few moments ago, on hearing a friend relate the following anecdote. He said, that soon after the revolutionary war, a brave Yankee officer, a former captain. in the service, happened to be at St. Petersburg, in Russia, and while there was invited to dine at the table of a distinguished merchant. There was a large number of guests at the table, and among the rest an English lady, who was anxious to appear as one of the knowing ones.' On understanding that an American was sitting near her, she expressed to one of her friends a determination to quiz him. She fastened upon him like a tigress, making numerous inquiries touching our habits, customs, dress, manners, modes of life, education, amusements, etc. To all these queries the officer gave courteous answers, which seemed to satisfy all the company with the exception of the lady herself. She was determined not to be satisfied, and went on: Have the rich people in your country any carriages? for I suppose there are some who call themselves rich.' My residence,' replied the captain, is in a small town upon an island, where there are but few carriages kept; but in the larger towns and cities on the main land there

เ

THE SEA AND ITS INFLUENCES.

55

are quite a number maintained, suited to our republican manners.' Indeed!' replied his fair questioner, in a tone that was both interrogative and exclamatory: 'I can't fancy where you find coachmen: I should n't think the Americans knew how to drive a coach.' 'We find no difficulty on that account, Madam,' calmly rejoined the captain; 'we can have plenty of drivers by sending to England for them.' To England!' exclaimed the lady, speaking very quickly; 'I think the Americans ought to drive the English, instead of the English driving the Americans.' We did, Madam, in the late war,' rejoined the officer; 'but since the peace, we have permitted the English to drive us!' There was no more' quizzing' of our American during the dinner. He waited in vain, like SAM Weller in 'BARDELL vs. PICKWICK,' for the next question.

'THE sea is HIS, and He made it!' Now there is conveyed in this sentence, to our poor conception at least, a kind of mysterious sublimity; and we never stand by the solemn shore of the great ocean, without hearing in every wave that, as it rolls pouring onward and expanding side-wise, breaks at the ends of its emerald cylinder into a musical foam, without taking up the burthen of that pervading Voice, and exclaiming, The sea is His, and He made it!' And it is pleasurable to think that this impres