Lucy. In short, as she had openly declared against the nephew, I took upon me to speak of his uncle. Sir Cha. Of me, child? Lucy. Yes, of you, sir- -And she did not say me nay, but cast such a look, and fetched such a sigh, that if ever I looked, and sighed in my life, I know how it is with her. Sir Cha. What the devil! Why, surely-Eh, Lucy? You joke for certain. Mr. Heartly! Eh? Lucy. Indeed I do not, sir. "Twas in vain for me to say, that nothing could be so ridiculous as such a choice. Nay, sir, I went a little farther (you'll excuse me), and told her-Good God, madam! said I, why, he is old and gouty, asthmatic, rheumatic, sciatic, spleen-atic-It signified nothing; she had determined. Sir Cha. But you need not have told her all that. - Heart. I am persuaded, Sir Charles, that a good heart and a good mind will prevail more with that young lady, than the most fashionable accomplishments. Sir Cha. I'll tell you what, neighbour, I have had my days, and have been well received among the ladies, I have. But, in truth, I am rather in my winter, than my autumn; she must mean somebody else. Now I think again, it can't be me. No, no; it can't be me. Lucy. But I tell you it is, sir. You are the man. Her stars have decreed it; and what they decree, though ever so ridiculous, must come to pass. Sir Cha. Say you so? Why, then, monsieur nephew, I shall have a little laugh with you, ha, ha, ha! The tit bit is not for you, my nice sir. Your betters must be served before you. But here he comes. Not a word, for your life. We'll laugh at him most triumphantly, ha, ha! but mum, mum. Sir Cha. Do you hear the puppy? [To Lucy. Heart. It is time to clear up all mistakes. Sir Cha. Now for it. Heart. Miss Harriet, sir, was not destined for you. Young Cla. What do you say, sir. Heart. That the young lady has fixed her affections upon another! Young Cla. Upon another? Sir Cha. Yes, sir, another: That is English, sir; and you may translate it into French, if you like it better. Young Cla. Vous êtes bien drole, mon oncle. -Ha, ha! Sir Cha. Ay, ay, show your teeth, you have nothing else for it. But she has fixed her heart upon another, I tell you. Young Cla. Very well, sir; extremely well. Sir Cha. And that other, sir, is one to whom you owe great respect. Young Cla. I am his most respectful humble servant. Sir Cha. You are a fine youth, my sweet nephew, to tell me a story of a cock and a bull, of you and the young lady, when you have no more interest in her than the czar of Muscovy. Young Cla. [Smiling.] But, my dear uncle, don't carry this jest too far-I shall begin to be uneasy. Sir Cha. Ay, ay; I know your vanity: You think now, that the women are all for you young fellows. Young Cla. Nine hundred and ninety-nine in a thousand, I believe, uncle: Ha, ha, ha! Sir Cha. You'll make a damned foolish figure by and by, Jack! Young Cla. Whoever my precious rival is, he must prepare himself for a little humility; for be he ever so mighty, my dear uncle, I have that in my pocket will lower his top-sails for him. [Searching his pockets. Sir Cha. Well, what's that? Young Cla. A fourteen pounder only, my good uncle-A letter from the lady. [Takes it out of his pocket-book. Sir Cha. What, to you? Young Cla. To me, sir-This moment received, and overflowing with the tenderest sentiments. Sir Cha. To you! Young Cla. Most undoubtedly. She reproaches me with my excessive modesty. There can be no mistake.. Sir Cha. What letter is this he chatters about? [TO HEARTLY. Heart. One written by me, and dictated by the young lady. Sir Cha. What! sent by her to him? Sir Cha. Well, but then-How the devilMrs. Lucy!--Eh!-What becomes of your fine story? Lucy. I don't understand it. Miss Har. Bless me, Mr. Heartly! what is all this music for in the next room! Young Cla. I brought the gentlemen of the string, mademoiselle, to convince you, that I feel, as I ought, the honour you have done me [Showing the letter.] But, for Heaven's sake, be sincere a little with these good folks: They tell me here, that I am nobody, and there is another happier than myself; and, for the soul of me, I don't know how to believe them, ha, ha, ha! Sir Cha. Let us hear miss speak. Miss Har. It is a most terrible task: but I am compelled to it; and to hesitate any longer would be injurious to my guardian, his friend, this young gentleman, and my own character. Young Cla. Most judicious, upon my soul. Miss Har. You have all been in an error. My bashfulness may have deceived you-My heart never did. Young Cla. C'est vrai. Miss Har. Therefore, before I declare my sentiments, it is proper that I disavow any engagement: But at the same time must confess Young Cla. Ho-ho! Miss Har. With fear and shame confessYoung Cla. Courage, mademoiselle! Miss Har. That another, not you, sir, has gained a power over my heart. [To YOUNG CLACKIT. Sir Cha. Another, not you; mind that, Jack. Ila, ha! Miss Har. It is a power, indeed, which he despises. I cannot be deceived in his conduct. -Modesty may tie the tongue of our sex, but silence in him could proceed only from contempt. Sir Cha. How prettily she reproaches me!— But I'll soon make it up with her. Miss Har. As to that letter, sir, your error there is excusable; and I own myself in that particular a little blameable. But it was not my fault that it was sent to you; and the contents must have told you, that it could not possibly be meant for you. [TO YOUNG CLACKIT. Sir Cha. Proof positive, Jack Say no more. Now is my time to begin. Hem! hem!-Sweet young lady!-hem! whose charms are so mighty, so far transcending every thing that we read of in history or fable, how could you possibly think that my silence proceeded from contempt? Was it natural or prudent, think you, for a man of 1 uncle. Lucy. What is the meaning of all this? Young Cla. Proof positive, uncle—and very positive. Sir Cha. I have been led into a mistake, madam, which I hope you will excuse; and I have made myself very ridiculous, which I hope I shall forget: And so, madam, I am your humble servant.-This young lady has something very extraordinary about her! Heart. What I now see, and the remembrance of what is past, force me to break silence. Young Cla. Ay, now for it. Hear him, hear him! Heart. O my Harriet! I, too, must be disgraced in my turn. Can you think, that I have seen and conversed with you unmoved? Indeed I have not. The more I was sensible of your merit, the stronger were my motives to stifle the ambition of my heart. But now I can no longer resist the violence of my passion, which casts me at your feet, the most unworthy, indeed, of all your admirers, but of all the most affectionate. Young Cla. So, so! the moon has changed, and the grown gentlemen begin to be frisky! Lucy. What, my master in love, too! I'll never trust these tye-wigs again. [Aside. Mis Har. I have refused my hand to Sir Charles and this young gentleman: The one accuses me of caprice, the other of singularity. Should I refuse my hand a third time [Smiling.] I might draw upon myself a more severe reproach; and therefore I accept your favour, sir, and will endeavour to deserve it. Heart. And thus I seal my acknowledgments, and from henceforth devote my every thought, and all my services, to the author of my happiness. [Kisses her hand. Sir Cha. Well, my dear discreet nephew, are you satisfied with the fool's part you have given me, and played yourself, in the farce? Young Cla. What would you have me say, sir? I am too much a philosopher to fret myself, because the wind, which was east this morning, is now west. The poor girl, in pique, has killed herself, to be revenged on me; but, hark ye, sir, I believe Heartly will be cursed mad to have me live in his neighbourhood. A word to the wise Sir Cha. Thou hast a most incorrigible vanity, Jack, and nothing can cure thee. Mr. Heart!y, I have sense enough, and friendship enough, not to be uneasy at your happiness. Heart. I hope, Sir Charles, that we shall still continue to live as neighbours and friends. For you, my Harriet, words cannot express my wonder or my joy; my future conduct must tell you what a sense I have of my happiness, and how much I shall endeavour to deserve it. For every charm that ever yet blessed youth, Accept compliance, tenderness, and truth; My friendly care shall change to grateful love, And the fond husband still the GUARDIAN prove. Slip. The same, i'faith! Mar. 'Tis he, as I live! Slip. My friend, happily met! Mar. My dear, I embrace you ?—Not see there had been some fresh misunderstanding between you and the law. escape, since I saw you, I had like to have been Slip. Faith! my dear, I have had a narrow preferred in some of our settlements abroad, but I found there was no doing the business by deputy, so Mar. I AM sick as a dog of being a valet!-ing you among the beau-monde, I was afraid running after other people's business, and neglecting my own— -this low life is the devil! -I've had a taste for the gentleman, and shall never lose it, 'Tis thy own fault, my little Martin! Thou would'st always play small games; when, had you but had the face to put yourself forward a little, some well jointured widow had taken you into her post-chariot, and made your fortune at once. A fellow of my wit and spirit should have broke twice, and set up again by this time. Enter SLIP. why what little mischief bad'st thou been at? Mar. Did not accept of the place, ha! (I Stip. Why, I don't know-meeting one night with a certain Portuguese Jew-merchant, in one of the back streets here by the exchange a turtle-feast) it came into my giddy head to stop was a little in liquor I believe-piping hot from him, out of mere curiosity, to ask what news from Germany-nothing more, and the fellow, not understanding good English, would needs have it, that I asked him for something elseHe bawl'd out, up came the watch, down was I laid in the kennel, and then carried before a magistrate-le clapped me on a stone doublet, that I could not get off my back for two months. Mar. Two months, say you? Slip. And there I might have rotted, if I had not had great friends; a certain lady of quality's woman's cousin, that was kept by Mr. Quirk, of Thavies-Inn, you must know, was in love with me, and she. Mar. Brought you in not guilty, I warrant. Oh! great friends is a great matter. Slip. This affair really gave me some serious reflexions. Mar. No doubt, it spoiled you for a newsmonger: no more intelligence from foreign countries, hey! Slip. Well but, Martin! what's thy history since I saw thee! Mar. Um a novel only, sir: why, I am ashamed to say it: I am but an honorary rascal, as well as yourself.-I did try my luck, indeed, at Epsom, and Newmarket; but the knowing ones were taken in, and I was obliged to return to service again.--But a master without money, implies a servant without wages; I am not in love with my condition, I promise you. Mar. Ay, he's dying for the-twenty thousand-that's all- -but since your master [Going. Slip. Oh! there you're safe enough; my mas- Slip. Only married already. Slip. Why, his father would marry him here in town, it seems, and he-chose to be married in the country-that's all. The truth is, our young gentleman managed matters with the young lady so ill, or so well, that, upon his father's return, there was hot consulting aniong the relations; and the lady being of a good family, and having a smart fighting fellow of a brother in the army-why, my master, who hates quarrelling, spoke to the old gentleman, and the affair's hushed up by a marriage, that's all. Mar. Um! an entire new face of affairs! Slip. My master's wedding-cloaths, and mine, are all ordered for the country, and I am to follow them, as soon as I have seen the family here, and redeemed my old master's promise, that lies in pawn. Mar. Old master's promise!—let me think— Slip. "Twas what brought me to town, or I had not shook my honest friend by the fist. Martin, good morrow!-what in the dumps ?-we shall Mar. Let me alone, I have a thought-bark you, my dear? is thy master known to old Stockwell? Slip. Never saw him in his life. Slip. I am with mine, I assure you: I am retired from the great world-that's my taste now and live in the country, with one Mr. Har-meet again, man. lowe-piping hot from his travels. 'Tis a charming young fellow! Drinking, hunting, and wenching, my boy !—a man of universal knowledge. Then I am his privy counsellor, and we always play the devil together. That amuses one, you know, and keeps one out of mischief. Mar. Yes, pretty lambs! But what makes you in Loudon now? whither are you bound? Slip. To yonder great house. Mar. What, Mr. Stockwell's? Slip. The same. You must know his daughter is engaged to my master. Mar. Miss Stockwell to your master? Slip. Tis not above, six weeks ago, that my master's father, sir Harry Harlowe, was here upon a visit to his old friend, and then the matter was settled between them-quite à la mode, I assure you. Mar. How do you mean? Slip. The old folk struck the bargain, without the consent of the young ones, or even their seeing one another. Mar. Tip top, I assure you; and every thing's agreed? Slip. Signed and sealed by the two fathers; the lady and her fortune both ready to be delivered. Twenty thousand, you rogue !-ready rhino down! and only wait for young master to write a receipt. Mar. Whew! Then my young master may e'en make a leg to his fortune, and set up his staff somewhere else. Slip. Thy master. Mar. That's brave, my boy!-[Hits him a slap on the back.]-Art thou still a cock of the game, Slip? and shall we?-No; I doubt-I doubt that damned Jew-merchant sticks in thy stomach, and you are turned dunghill, you dog! Slip. Try me. A good sailor won't die a dry death at land for one hurricane. Speak out!you would pass your master upon the family for mine, and marry him to the lady? is not that the trick? Mar. That! I have a trick worth two on't; I Mar. Myself, you puppy! [Slaps him on the back. Mar. I'm in love with her to Slip. To the value of twenty thousand pounds? I approve your flame. Mar. I will take the name and shape of your Mar. Marry Miss Stockwell. Mar. Touch the twenty thousand. Mar. And disappear before matters come to an eclaircissement. |