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Morde. But pray, Sir Archy, what has occasioned all this?

Sir A. Faith, Mordecai, I do no ken the particulars-but it see.ns-by the word of Sir Theodore himsel, that he and a rich merchant in Holland, his partner and joint guardian over this girl, are baith bankrupts, and, as the lawyer that is withoot there confirms, have fail'd for above a hundred thoosand poonds mair than they

can answer.

Morde. But how is this to affect the young Jady?

contaminating the blood of Macsarcasm wi' any thing sprung frai a hogshead, or a counting hoose. I assure yee my passion for yee is meeghty strong, madam, but I cannot bring disgrace upon an honourable family.

Char. No more-your apology is baser than your perfidy: there is no truth, no virtue in man.

Sir A. Guid truth, nor in woman neither that has nai fortune. But here is Mordecainow, madam-a wandering Israelite, a casualty -a mere casualty, sprung frai annuities, bulls, Šir A. Why, sir, the greatest part of her for- bubbles, bears, and lottery tickets, and can hai tune was in trade, it seems, with Sir Theodore nai family objactions; he is passionately fond and his partner; besides the suit in Chancery, of yee; and till this offspring of accident and that she had wi' the company, for above forty mammon I resign my interest in ye. thoosand poonds, has been determined against Morde. Sir, I am infinitely obliged to you; her this very day, so that they are aw undone.-but-a-matrimony is a subject I have never Baggars! baggars!

Morde. I understood that the affair was clearly in her favour.

Sir A. O, sir, ye do na ken the law-the law is a sort of hocus pocus science, that smiles in yeer face while it picks yeer pocket: and the glorious uncertainty of it is of mair use to the professors than the justice of it-Here the parties come, and seemingly in great affliction.

Enter SIR THEODORE, and CHARLOTTE.

Char. Dear sir, be patient, moderate your sorrow; it may not be so terrible as your apprehensions make it; pray, bear up.

Sir T. For myself I care not. But that you should be involved in my ruin, left fortuneless, your fair expectation of a noble alliance blasted! your dignity and affluence fallen to scorn and penury

Char. It cannot prove so bad, sir; I will not despair, nor shall you,-for tho' the law has been so hard against me, yet, in spite of all its wiles and treachery, a competency will still remain, which shall be devoted to mitigate your misfortunes. Besides, Sir Archy Macsarcasm is a man of honour, and on his promise and assistance I will rely.

Sir A. Wool ye! ye may as weel rely upon the assistance of the Philosopher's stone; what the deevil, would she marry me to make me tinker up the fortunes of broken ceetezens. But F will speak till them, and end the affair at once. I am concerned to see you in this disorder, Sir Theodore.

Char. O, Sir Archy, if all the vows of friendship, honour, and eternal love, which you have so often made me, were not composed of idle breath, and deceitful ceremony, now let their truth be seen.

Sir A. Madam, I am sorry to be the messenger of ill teedings, but aw our connection is at an end; oor hoose hai heard of my addresses till you; and I hai had letters frai the dukes, the marquis, and aw the dignitaries of the fameely, reinonstrating, nay expressly prohccbeting my

thoroughly considered, and I must take some time to deliberate, before I determine upon that inextricable business. Besides, madam, I assure you, my affairs are not in a matrimonial situation,

Char. No apology, sir, begone-I despise them and you.

Enter SQUIRE GROOM.

Groom. Haux! haux! What's the matter here? What is all this? What are we all at fault? Is this true, Sir Theodore?—I hear that you and the filly are both run on the wrong side of the post.

Sir T. It is too true; but, I hope, sir, that will make no alteration in your affection.

Groom. Hark ye, Sir Theodore, I always make my match according to the weight my thing can carry. When I offered to take her into my stable, she was sound, and in good case

but I hear her wind is touched; if so I would not back her for a shilling. I'll take her into my stud if you please.-She has a good fore hand, sets both her ends well, has good paces, a good deal of fashion, some blood, and will do well enough to breed out of-but she cannot carry weight sufficient to come through.— Matrimony, Sir Theodore, is a cursed long course, devilish heavy, and sharp turnings ;-it won't do-can't come through, my dear, can't come through.

Sir A. I think, squire, you judge vary neecely. Noo, in my thoughts, the best thing the lady can do is to snap the Irishman.

Morde. Well observ'd, Sir Archy.

Groom. Macsarcasm has an excellent nose, and hits off a fault as well as any hound I ever follow'd.

Sir A. It woold be a deevelish lucky match for her. The fellow has a guid fortune, is a great blockhead, and looves her vehemently; three as guid qualities for a matrimonial bubble, as a lady in her circumstances woold wish. Snap him, snap him, madam.

Morde. Hush! he's here.

Enter SIR CALLAGHAN.

Sir A. Ha! my guid freend, Sir Callaghan, I kiss your hond; I hai been speaking till the lady in your beholf, wi' aw the eloquence I hai; she is enamoor'd o' yeer person, and yee are just come i' the nick to receive her heart and her hond.

Sir C. By the honour of a soldier, madam, I shall think that a greater happiness than any that fortune can bestow upon me.

Sir A. Come, come, madam, true love is impatient, and despises ceremony; gi' him yeer hond at once.

Char. No, sir, I scorn to deceive a man who offers me his heart: tho' my fortune is ruin'd, my mind is untainted; even poverty shall not pervert it to principles of baseness.

Sir C. Fortune ruin'd! Pray, Sir Theodore, what does the importance of all this language -mean?

Sir T. The sad meaning is, Sir Callaghan, that, in the circuit of fortune's wheel, the lady's station is reversed; she, who some hours since was on the highest round, is now degraded to the lowest this, sir, has turned the passion these gentlemen professed for her into scorn and ridicule; and I suppose will cool the fervency of yours.

Sir C. Sir Theodore, I assure you, I am heartily glad of her distress.

Sir T. Sir!

Sir C. When she was computed to have a hundred thousand pounds, I lov'd her 'tis true, but it was with fear and trembling, like a man that loves to be a soldier, yet is afraid of a gun; because I look'd upon myself as an unequal match to her: but now she is poor, and that it is in my power to serve her, I find something warm about my heart here, that tells me, I love her better than when she was rich, and makes me beg she will take my life this instant, and all I have into her service.

Sir T. Generous indeed, Sir Callaghan. Sir C. Madam, my fortune is not much, but it is enough to maintain a couple of honest hearts, and have something to spare for the necessities of a friend; which is all we want, and all that fortune is good for.

Sir T. Here, take her, sir; she is yours; and, what you first thought her, mistress of a noble fortune.

Groom. What! Morde. How's this!

one word you say. First she has a fortone, then she has no fortune-and then she has a great fortune again! this is just what the little jackanapes about town call humbugging a man.

Sir T. Sir, I am serious.

Sir C. And pray, what are you, madam? Are you in serious too, or in joke?

Char. Such as I am, sir, if you dare venture upon me for life, I am yours.

Sir C. By the integrity of my henour, madam, I will venture upon you not only for life, but for death too! which is a great deal longer than life, you know,

Sir T. I hope, nephew, you will excuse the deceit of my feign'd bankruptcy, and the pretended ruin of the lady's fortune; it was a scheme devis'd to detect the illiberal, selfish views of prodigals, who never address the fair but as the mercenary lure attracts-a scheme to try and reward your passion, which hath shown itself proof against the time's infection.

Sir C. Faith then, it was no bad piece of generalship in you, But now she has surrendered herself prisoner of war, I think I have a right to lay her under contribution-for your kisses are lawful plunder, and mine by the laws of love.

Char. O, Sir Callaghan, you take away my breath.

Sir C. O you are a clever little creature, Upon my honour, her breath is as sweet as the sound of a trumpet.

Groom. Why, the knowing ones are all taken in here-double distanc'd; zounds! she has run a crimp upon us.

Morde. She has jilted us confoundedly.

Sir A. By the cross of St. Andrew I'll be revenged; for I ken a lad of an honourable fameely, that understands the auncient classicks in aw their perfaction, he is writing a comedy, and he shall insinuate baith their characters intill it.

Morde. And I will write a satire upon her, in which she shall have an intrigue with a life guard man, and an opera singer.

Groom. I can't write; but I tell you what I'll do, I'll poison her parrot, and cut off her squirrel's tail, damn me,

Sir C. Hark ye, gentlemen, I hope you will ax my lave for all this-if you touch a hair of the parrot's head, or a hair of any thing that be[Aside. longs to this lady; or, if you write any of your Sir A. Gently! hush! saftly! he is ainly tak- nonsensical comedies or lampoons, I shall be ng hiim in he is taking him in-the bubble's bit. after making bold to make a few remarks on your Sir T. And bad she millions, your principles bodies;-hah! I have an excellant pen by my deserve her; she has a heart, loving and gene-side, that is a very good critic, and that can rous as your own, which your manly virtue write a very legible hand upon impertinent aus has subdued, and temper'd to your warmest thors. wishes.

Sir C. Pray, Sir Theodore, what does all this mean? Are you in jest, or in earnest? By my honour, I don't know how to believe

Sir A. Hut away, hut away, Sir Callaghan, donna talk in that idle mainer, sir-oor swords are as sharp and as responsible as the swords of other men. But this is nai time for sic maiters,

ye hai got the lady, and we hai got the wullows-I am sorry for the little Girgishite here, because he hais bespoke his nuptial chariot, and aw his leeveries;-and upon honour, I am verry sorry for my vary guid friend the squeere-the lady's fortune would have been very convenient till him, for, I fancy, he is fetlock deep in the turf; and, upon honour, I am sorry for the

lady, for she has miss'd being match'd intill the house of Macsarcasm-which is the gratest loss of aw.

Sir C. The whole business together is something like the catastrophe of a stage play; where knaves aud fools are disappointed, and honest men rewarded. [Exeunt omnes.

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ROSSETTA and LUCINDA are discovered at Work, seated upon two Garden Chairs;

AIR.

Ros. Hope! thou nurse of young desire,
Fairy promiser of joy,

Painted vapour, glow-worm fire,
Temp'rate sweet, that ne'er can cloy : ·

Luc. Hope! thou earnest of delight,
Softest soother of the mind,
Balmy cordial, prospect bright,
Surest friend the wretched find:

Both. Kind deceiver, flatter still,

Deal out pleasures unpossest, With thy dreams my fancy fill, And in wishes make me blest.

Luc. Heigho!-Rossetta?

Ros. Well, child, what do you say?

Luc. 'Tis a devilish thing to live in a village 3 hundred miles from the capital, with a preposter ous gouty father, and a superannuated maiden aunt. I am heartily sick of my situation.

Ros. And with reason-But 'tis in a great mea sure your own fault: here is this Mr. Eustace, a man of character and family; he likes you, you like him, you know one another's minds, and yet you will not resolve to make yourself happy with him.

AIR.

Whence can you inherit So slavish a spirit?

Confin'd thus, and chain'd to a log!
Now fondled, now chid,
Permitted, forbid;
'Tis leading the life of a dog.

For shame, you a lover!
More firmness discover ;

Take courage, nor here longer mope;
Resist and be free,

Run riot, like me,

And, to perfect the picture, elope.

Luc. And is this your advice? Ros. Positively. Luc. Here's my hand; positively I'll follow it. I have already sent to my gentleman, who is now in the country, to let him know he may come hither this day; we will make use of the opportunity to settle all preliminaries—And thenBut take notice, whenever we decamp, you march off along with us.

Ros. Oh! madam, your servant; I have no

-Was your

Luc. Well, but my dear mad girlRos. Lucinda, don't talk to mefather to go to London; meet there by accident with an old fellow as wrong-headed as himself; and in a fit of absurd friendship, agree to marry you to that old fellow's son, whom you had never seen, without consulting your inclinations, or allowing you a negative, in case he should not prove agreeable

Luc. Why, I should think it a little hard, I confess yet, when I see you in the character of a chambermaid—

Ros. It is the only character, my dear, in which I could hope to lie concealed; and, I can tell you, I was reduced to the last extremity, when, in consequence of our old boarding-school friendship, I applied to you to receive me in this capacity; for we expected the parties the very

next week.

Luc. But had not you a message from your intended spouse, to let you know he was as little inclined to such ill-concerted nuptials as you

were?

Ros. More than so; he wrote to advise me, by all means, to contrive some method of break

inclination to be left behind, I assure you-Buting them off, for he had rather return to his dear

you say you got acquainted with this spark, while you were with your mother during her last illness at Bath, so that your father has never seen him?

Luc. Never in his life, my dear: and, I am confident, he entertains not the least suspicion of my having any such connection: my aunt, indeed, has her doubts and surmises; but, besides

that my father will not allow any one to be wiser than himself, it is an established maxim between these affectionate relations, never to agree in any thing.

am

Ros. Except being absurd! you must allow they sympathize perfectly in that-But, now we are on the subject, I desire to know, what I to do with this wicked old justice of peace, this libidinous father of your's? He follows me about the house like a tame goat.

Luc. Nay, I'll assure you he hath heen a wag in his time you must have a care of yourself. Ros, Wretched me! to fall into such hands, who have been just forced to run away from my parents to avoid an odious marriage

-You

smile at that now; and I know you think me whimsical, as you have often told me: but you must excuse my being a little over-delicate in this particular.

AIR.

My heart's my own, my will is free,
And so shall be my voice;
No mortal man shall wed with me,
Till first he's made my choice.
Let parent's rule, cry nature's laws;
And children still obey;
And is there, then, no saving clause,
Against tyrannic sway

studies at Oxford; and, after that, what hopes could I have of being happy with him?

Luc. Then you are not at all uneasy at the strange rout you must have occasioned at home? I warrant, during this month you have been ab

sent

Ros. Oh! don't mention it, my dear! I have had so many admirers, since I commenced Abigail, that I'm quite charmed with my situation the dogs are so glad to see? -But hold, who stalks yonder in the yard, that

Luc. Daddy Hawthorn, as I live! He is come to pay my father a visit; and never more luckily, for he always forces him abroad. By the way, what will you do with yourself, while I step into the house to see after my trusty messenger, Hodge?

Ros. No matter; I'll sit down in that arbour and listen to the singing of the birds: you know am fond of melancholy amusements.

I

of your admirers had power to touch your heart; Luc. So it seems, indeed: sure, Rossetta, none you are not in love I hope?

Ros. In love! that's pleasant. Who do you suppose I should be in love with, pray? of Thomas, our gardener? There he is, at the Luc. Why, let me see -What do you think other end of the walk-He's a pretty young man, and the servants say, he's always writing verses on you.

Ros. Indeed, Lucinda, you are very silly. Luc. Indeed, Rossetta, that blush makes you look very handsome.

Ros. Blush! I am sure I don't blush.

Luc. Ha, ha, ha!

Ros. Pshaw, Lucinda, how can you be so ridiculous?

Luc. Well, don't be angry, and I have done

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