Oh heavenly Father! thy returning prodigal. Wash me in the blood of thy dear Son; clothe me with his perfect righteousness, and sanctify me throughout by the power of thy Spirit! Destroy, I beseech thee, more and more the power of sin in my heart! Transform me more into thine own image, and fashion me to the resemblance of Jesus, whom henceforward I would acknowledge as my teacher, and my sacrifice, my intercessor, and my Lord! Communicate to me, I beseech thee, all needful influences of thy purifying, thy cheering, and thy comforting Spirit; and lift up the light of thy countenance upon me, which will put the sublimest joy and gladness into my soul. Dispose my affairs, Oh God! in a manner which may be most subservient to thy glory and my own truest happiness; and when I have done and borne thy will upon earth, call me from hence at what time, and in what manner thou pleasest; only grant that in my-dying moments, and the near view of eternity, I may remember these my engagements to thee, and may employ my latest breath to thy service; and do thou, Oh Lord, when thou seest the agonies of dissolving nature upon me, remember this covenant too, even though I should then be incapable of recollecting it. Look down, Oh my heȧvenly Father, with a pitying eye upon thy languishing, dying child; place thine everlasting arms underneath me for my support; put strength and confidence into my departing spirit, and receive it to the embraces of thy everlasting love! Welcome it to the abodes of them that sleep in Jesus; to wait with them that glorious day, when the last of thy promises to thy covenant people shall be fulfilled in their triumphant resurrection and that abundant entrance, which shall be administered to them into that everlasting kingdom, of which thou hast assured them in thy covenant, and in the hope of which, I now lay hold of it, desiring to live and to die as with my hand on that hope! And when I am thus numbered among the dead, and all the interest of mortality are over with me for ever, if this solemn memorial should chance to fall into the hands of any surviving friends, may it be the means of making serious impressions on their mind. May they read it not only as my language, but as their own; and learn to fear the Lord my God, and with me to put their trust under the shadow of his wings for time and for eternity; and may they also learn to adore with me that grace which inclines our heart to enter into the covenant, and condescends to admit us into it, when so inclined; ascribing with me and with all the children of God, to the Father, to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost, that glory, honour, and praise, which is so justly due to each divine person for the part he bears in this illustrious work. AMEN. Lord, I am thine, for ever thine, Henceforth I am not mine but God's for ever. MARTHA LAURENS. I had fallen, shamefully fallen, and broken the solemn covenant engagements in so dreadful a manner, that none but He who is holy and true, who hath the key of all hearts, who openeth and no man shutteth, could ever have restored me, but through the unbounded and astonishing measures of his grace, I was awakened to a sense of my vileness and ingratitude, made to feel more bitter pangs than ever, and after much struggling and many intreaties from my compassionate Redeemer, I renewed my violated vows in the most solemn manner, not only privately, but publicly, by giving up myself to him in the ordinance of the Holy Supper, before near three hundred persons at St. Werbrough's, December 25, 1775. Solemnly again, April 7, 1776; and more solemnly, and with more affecting circumstances than ever, May 26, 1776.. APPENDIX, No. III. Bristol, June, 1776. A SUPPLICATION FOR A BELOVED RELATIVE My heart has been rather bowed down to-day, and through the prevalence of unbelief, I have a hard struggle to keep from sinking. My dear aunt's extreme weakness makes me truly apprehensive on her account; and O, my stubborn will, it can hardly bear the thoughts of letting her outstrip me, and get to heaven first! O, if it should please the Lord to remove her hence, what a severe stroke will it be to my loving heart! may he give me grace, if such is his good pleasure, to lie down in humble submission at his feet. But, O my God! if I may plead with thee, and if the earnest wish of my soul is not contradictory to thy all wise and gracious providence, which I would not for ten thousand worlds desire to subvert, spare, O! spare her ; direct the physicians, herself, and attendants; and in mercy hear the supplications of her friends, of me, thine unworthy supplicant. Bless the waters, the change of air, or whatever she shall be ordered; without thy blessing, nothing will avail; therefore by humble and diligent prayer, would I seek it, in the name and for the merits of my dear Redeemer. In thy hands are the issues of life and death; thou canst bring back again from the gates of the grave; canst say to the violence of disease, hitherto shalt thou go, and no further; and with one powerful word, canst recruit exhausted nature, and give new strength and vigour. I well know that thou art able, and as fully am I convinced that thou art willing to grant this petition, if it will be for the good of thine handmaid, and of us her affectionate friends; therefore, with the most steady faith, I desire to pray, and without wavering to come unto the throne of grace. If thou doest for me this thing, I will adore and praise thy love for ever, and for ever: if not, in the deepest affliction will I sing unto thee, and amidst surrounding distress will proclaim thy goodness. O my Lord, be thou with my dear friend; place thine everlasting arms beneath her; give her strength and confidence in thee under all her trials; manifest thy presence unto her in so sweet and delightful a manner, that she may forget all her pains, and lose all her sorrows in the enjoyment of thy love; revive her drooping spirits with the cordials of thy grace; wean her more than ever from the world, and engage to thee the chief and choicest of her affections. |