and profound as thofe of a Swift; they are yet apt enough, and to the purpose.

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Digreffions,' fays he, inconteftably, are the fun-fhine; -they are the life, the foul of reading;-take them out of this book, for inftance,-you might as well take the book along with them ;-one cold eternal winter would reign in every page of it; reftore them to the Writer ;--he fteps forth like a bridegroom,-bids All hail; brings in variety, and forbids the appetite to fail.

All the dexterity is in the good cookery and management of them, fo as to be not only for the advantage of the Reader, but alfo of the Author, whofe diftrefs, in this matter, is truly pitiable: for, if he begins a Digreffion-from that moment, I obferve, his whole work stands stock-still; —and if he goes on with his main work,-then there is an end of his Digreffion.

This is vile work. For which reafon, from the beginning of this, you fee, I have conftructed the main work, and the adventitious parts of it, with fuch interfections, and have fo complicated and involved the digreffive and progreffive'movements, one wheel within another, that the whole machine, in general, has been kept a-going ;and, what's more, it fhall be kept a-going these forty years, if it pleases the fountain of health to bless me fo long with life and good spirits.'

Our Readers will probably think the defign of this Author not a little extravagant: but fetting afide the above apprehenfion, we have no reason to fufpect, from his manner, his ever giving it up for want of materials: and, perhaps, they will be of our opinion, when we inform them, that altho' there be fome talk in the two volumes now publifhed, about the misfortune of his being christened Triftram, and matters of equal importance fubfequent to his birth, yet the History is not advanced, at the conclufion of the laft, fo far as to the time in which our Hero firft made his appearance in fwaddling cloaths: nor, indeed, can we take upon us to fay, on any good authority, that it will advance fo far as that period in the two next. In fact, the Hero of this Romance is none of thofe ordinary fort of Knight Errants, whofe adventures are only thofe of their own feeking; his difafters beginning literally in his non-age; as is proved by the testimony of his own father; who, we are told, ufed to confefs, with tears in his eyes, that his Triftram's misfortunes began nine months before he came into the world.

We, on our part, fhall, doubtlefs, be excufed, therefore, for waiting till the man be born, before we make any comment on his life.

As to his opinions, indeed, he has let us into fome of them, as well as of the fingular ones of his father; a philofopher in grain, fpeculative, fyftematical, and one who entertained a number of very curious conceits; many of them no doubt adopted by his fon. We fhall only mention one; which, with the argumentation and manner of recommending it, may give the reader fome idea of our Triftram's father; and perhaps, not a little contribute to his affiftance, in forming fome judgment of our hero himself: who, tho' not apparently altogether fo grave a perfonage, as he reprefents his father to have been, is evidently no bastard.

It was the opinion of Mr. Shandy, the elder, that a great deal more depended on the choice and impofition of christian names, than what common fuperficial minds were capable of conceiving.

His opinion, in this matter, was, That there was a ftrange kind of magick bias, which good or bad names, as he called them, irrefiftibly impreffed upon our characters and conduct.

The Hero of Cervantes argued not the point with more ferioufness,--nor had he more faith,-or more to say on the powers of Necromancy in difhonouring his deeds,— or on Dulcinea's name, in fhedding luftre upon them, than my father had on thofe of Trifmegiftus or Archimedes, on the one hand,-or of Nyky and Simkin on the other. How many Cafurs and Pompeys, he would fay, by mere infpiration of the names, have been rendered worthy of them? And how many, he would add, are there who might have done exceeding well in the world, had not their characters and fpirits been totally depreffed and Nicodemus'd into ⚫ nothing.

I fee plainly, Sir, by your looks, (or as the case happened) my father would fay,-that you do not heartily subfcribe to this opinion of mine,-which, to thofe, he would add, who have not carefully fifted it to the bottom,-I own has an air more of fancy than of folid reafoning in it ;and yet, my dear Sir, if I may prefume to know your character, I am morally affured, I fhould hazard little in ftating a cafe to you,-not as a party in the dispute, but as a judge, and trufting my appeal upon it to your own good fenfe and candid difquifition in this matters-you are

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a perfon free from as many narrow prejudices of education as moft men ;-and, if I may prefume to penetrate further into you,-of a liberality of genius above bearing down an opinion, merely because it wants friends. Your fon!-your dear fon,-from whofe fweet and open temper you have fo much to expect.-Your Billy, Sir,-would you, for the world have called him Judas-Would you, my dear Sir, he would fay, laying his hand upon your breaft, with the genteeleft addrefs,-and in that foft and irrefiftible piano of voice, which the nature of the argumentum ad hominem abfolutely requires,-Would you, Sir, if a Jew of a godfather had propofed the name for your child, and offered you his purfe along with it, would you have confented to fuch a defecration of him? O my God! he would fay, looking up, if I know your temper right, Sir,-you are incapable of it; you would have trampled upon the offer;-you would have thrown the temptation at the tempter's head with abhorrence.

Your greatnefs of mind in this action, which I admire, with that generous contempt of money which you fhew me in the whole tranfaction, is really noble ;-and what renders it more fo, is the principle of it;-the workings of a parent's love upon the truth and conviction of this very hypothefis, namely, That was your fon called Judas,—the fordid and treacherous idea, fo infeparable from the name, would have accompanied him thro' life like his fhadow, and, in the end, made a mifer and a rafcal of him, in fpight, Sir, of your example.'

I never knew a man, (fays our Author) able to answer this argument: but, whatever be the world's opinion of this of my father's, certain it is, he was really serious in it; and, in confequence of it, he would lofe all kind of patience whenever he faw people, efpecially of condition, who should have known better,-as careless and as indifferent about the name they impofed upon their child,or more so, than in the choice of Ponto or Cupid for their puppy dog.

This, he would fay, looked ill;-and had, moreover, this particular aggravation in it, viz. That when once a vile name was wrongfully or injudiciously given, it was not like the cafe of a man's character, which, when wronged, might hereafter be cleared; and, poffibly, ⚫ fometime or other, if not in the man's life, at least after his death, be, fomehow or other, fet to rights with the

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world: But the injury of this, he would fay, could never be undone ;-nay, he doubted even whether an act of parliament could reach it :-He knew as well as you, that the legiflature affumed a power over furnames ;-but for very ftrong reafons, which he could give, it had never yet adventured, he would fay, to go a step further.

It was obfervable, that tho' my father, in confequence of this opinion, had, as I have told you, the strongest likings ⚫ and diflikings towards certain names;--that there were still numbers of names which hung fo equally in the balance before him, that they were abfolutely indifferent to him. Jack, Dick, and Tom were of this clafs: These my father called neutral names ;-affirming of them, without a fatyr, That there had been as many knaves and fools, at leaft, as wife and good men, fince the world began, who had indifferently borne them ;-fo that, like equal forces 6 acting against each other in contrary directions, he thought they mutually deftroyed each other's effects; for which reafon, he would often declare, He would not give a cherryftone to choofe amongst them. Bob,which was my brother's name, was another of thefe neutral kinds of Chriftian names, which operated very little either way; and as my father happened to be at Epfom, when it was given him,he would oft times thank heaven it was no worse. Andrew was fomething like a negative quantity in Algebra with him ;-it was worfe, he faid, than nothing.-William ftood pretty high-Numps again was low with him;-and Nick, he faid, was the Devil.

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But, of all the names in the univerfe, he had the most unconquerable averfion for Triftram ;-he had the loweft and most contemptible opinion of it of any thing in the world, thinking it could poffibly produce nothing in re. rum naturâ, but what was extremely mean and pitiful: So that in the midft of a difpute on the fubject, in which, by the bye, he was frequently involved, he would sometimes break off in a fudden and fpirited Epiphonema, or • rather Erotefis, raised a third, and fometimes a full fifth, above the key of the difcourfe,and demand it categorically of his antagonist, Whether he would take upon him to fay, he had ever remembered,-whether he had ever read, or even whether he had ever heard tell of a man, • called Triftram, performing any thing great or worth recording?-No-, he would fay,-Triftram!-The thing is impofiible.

What

What could be wanting in my father but to have wrote 567 <a book to publish this notion of his to the world? Little <boots it to the fubtle fpeculatift to ftand fingle in his opi、nions, unless he gives them proper vent:-It was the identical thing which my father did;-for in the year fixteen, which was two years before I was born, he was at the pains of writing an exprefs Differtation fimply upon the word Triftram,-fhewing the world, with great candour and modefty, the grounds of his great abhorrence to the

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name.

• When this flory is compared with the title-page,-Will not the gentle reader pity my father from his foul?-to fee an orderly and well-difpofed gentleman, who tho' fingular, yet inoffenfive in his notions,-fo played upon in them by crofs purpofes;-to look down upon the ftage, and fee him baffled and overthrown in all his little fyftems < and wishes; to behold a train of events perpetually falling out against him, and in fo critical and cruel a way, as if they had purpofedly been planned and pointed against him, merely to infult his fpeculations.In a word, to behold fuch a one, in his old age, ill-fitted for troubles, ten <times in a day fuffering forrow ;-ten times in a day calling the child of his prayers Triftram!Melancholy diffyllable of found! which, to his ears, was unifon to Nicompoop, and every name vituperative under heaven.--By his afhes! I fwear it,-if ever malignant fpirit took pleafure, or bufied itfelf in traverfing the purposes of mortal man,-it muft have been here;-and if it was not neceflary I fhould be born before I was chriftened, I would this moment give the reader an account of it.'

Notwithstanding the whimficalnefs of the above notion of the elder Shandy, he feems on fome other occafions to be no fool; as appears from the following fpecimen of his politics; a further confirmation of the truth of what we above hinted, of our hero himself having adopted many of his father's fingular notions.

"Was I an abfolute prince," he would fay, pulling up his breeches with both his hands, as he rofe from his armchair, "I would appoint able judges, at every avenue of "my metropolis, who fhould take cognizance of every fool's "bufinefs who came there ;--and if, upon a fair and candid "hearing, it appeared not of weight fuficient to leave his ❝own home, and come up, bag and baggage, with his "wife and children, farmers fons, &c. &c. at his backfide, they fhould be all fent back, from conftable to conftable,

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