I had a whole box-full, three days ago, and now there's only one ! I'm perfectly aware that he purloins my coals, and my candles, and my sugar-but I did think-oh, yes, I did think my lucifers would be sacred! [Takes a candlestick off the mantel-piece, in which there is a very small end of candle- looks at it.] Now, I should like to ask any unprejudiced person or persons their opinions touching this candle! In the first place, a candle is an article that I don't require, because I'm only at home in the day-time; and I bought this candle on the first of May - calculating that it would last me three months, and here 's one week not half over, and the candle three parts gone! [Going to stove, applies a match to kindle a fire.] How sleepy I am, to be sure! I'd indulge myself with a nap, if there was anybody here to take care of my fire. Perhaps it will take care of itself. [Yawning.] I must lie down, surely,—so, here goes. [Goes out at a door on the right, while, after a short pause, enter Felter, hurriedly, by door on the left.] Felt. Well, wonders will never cease! Conscious of being eleven minutes and a half behind time, I was sneaking into the shop in a state of considerable excitement, when my venerable employer, with a smile of extreme benevolence on his aged countenance, said to me, "I shan't want you to-day you can have a holiday." Thoughts of "Gravesend and back-fare, One Shilling," instantly suggested themselves, intermingled with visions of "Greenwich for Fourpence!" Then came the omnibuses, and the boats-in short, I'm quite bewildered! However, I must light my fire. Holloa! - who presumes to touch my box of lucifers? Why, it's empty! I left one in it—I did. Heydey! why, the fire is lighted! Well, now, 'pon my life! there is a quiet coolness about Bouncer's proceedings that 's almost amusing. He takes my last lucifer - my coals, and—I can't stand this! I'll go and give Bouncer a piece of my mind! [Seeing the lucifer-box on table.] [On turning to go Boxer suddenly enters - they approach each other.] you, sir? Box. If you come to that who are you? Felt. What do you want here, sir? Box. If you come to that what do you want? Felt. [Aside. It's the printer! Box. [Aside.] It's the hatter! Felt. Go to your attic, sir Box. My attic, sir? Your attic, sir! Who are Felt. Printer, I shall do you a frightful injury, if you don't instantly leave my apartment! ་ Box. Your apartment? You mean my apartment, you contemptible hatter, you! Felt. Your apartment? Ha! ha! come, I like that! Look here, sir! - [Produces a paper out of his pocket. -Bouncer's receipt for the last week's rent, sir Box. [Produces a paper, and holds it close to Felter's face.] Ditto, sir! Felt. [Suddenly shouting.] Thieves ! Box. Murder! Both. Mr. Bouncer! [Each runs to door, calling.] [Mr. Bouncer runs in.] Mr. B. What's the matter? [Felter and Boxer seize Mr. Bouncer by the arm, and drag him forward.] Box. Instantly remove that hatter! Felt. Immediately turn out that printer! Mr. B. Well, but, gentlemen Felt. Explain! [Pulling him round. ] Box. Explain! [Pulling him round.] Whose room is this? it belongs to me! Mr. B. No-it belongs to both of you! Mr. B. Oh, gentlemen, don't be angry-but, you see, this gentleman [pointing to Boxer]-only being at home in the daytime, and that gentleman-[pointing to Felter] at night, I thought I might venture, until my little back second floor room was ready Felt. and Box. [Eagerly.] When will your little back second floor room be ready? Mr. B. Why, to-morrow Felt. I'll take it! Box. So will I ! Mr. B. Excuse me - but if as well stop where you are. Felt. and Box. True. Felt. I spoke first, sir Box. With all my heart, sir. The little back second floor Felt. Go? Pooh-pooh! Mr. B. Now don't quarrel, gentlemen! You see, there used to be a partition here Felt. and Box. Then put it up! Mr. B. Nay, I'll see if I can't get the other room ready this very day. Now do keep your tempers! [Exit.] Felt. What a disgusting position! [Walking rapidly round the stage.] Box. [Sitting down on chair, at one side of table, and observing Felter's move ments.] Will you allow me to observe, if you have not had any exercise to-day, you'd better go out and take it. Felt. I shall not do anything of the sort, sir! at the table, opposite Boxer.] Box. Very well, sir. Felt. Very well, sir! from going out. [Seating himself However, don't let me prevent you Box Don't flatter yourself, sir. Felt. Well, sir. Box. Although we are doomed to occupy the same room for a few hours longer, I don't see any necessity for our cutting each other's throats, sir. Felt. Not at all. It's an operation that I should decidedly object to. Box. And, after all, I've no violent animosity to you, sir. Felt. Nor have I any rooted antipathy to you, sir. Box. Besides, it was all Bouncer's fault, sir. Felt. Entirely, sir. [Gradually approaching chairs.] Box. Very well, sir! Felt. Very well, sir! [Pause.] Box. What, then, hinders our being friends? Felt. [Both rising. Give me your hand. [They shake hands, and then go out.] THE FRENCHMAN'S LESSON. HOME JOURNAL. Frenchman. Ha, my friend! I have met one very strange word in my lesson. Vat you call h-o-u-g-h, eh? Tutor. Huff. Fr. Tres bien, huff; and snuff you spell s-n-o-u-g-h, eh? Tu. O no, no! snuff is spelled s-n-u-ff. In fact, words in ough are a little irregular. Fr. Ah, very good! 't is beautiful language! H-o-u-g-h is huff. I will remember; and of course c-o-u-g-h is cuff; I have one very bad cuff, ha ? Tu. No, that is wrong; we say kauff, not cuff. Fr. Kauff, eh? Huff and kauff, and, pardonnez moi, how you call d-o-u-g-h - duff, eh? is it duff? Tu. No, not duff. Fr. Not duff! Ah, oui; I understand, it is dauff, ha? Fr. Doe! It is very fine! wonderful language! it is doe; and t-o-u-g-h is toe, certainement. My beef steak is Tu. O no, no! you should say tuff. very toe. Fr. Tuff? Le Satan! and the thing the farmer uses, how you call him, p-l-o-u-g-h,— pluff, is it? Ha, you smile, I see that I am wrong, it must be plauff. No? Then it is ploe, like doe? It is one beautiful language! ver' fine- ploe! Tu. You are still wrong, my friend; it is plow. Fr. Plow! Wonderful language! I shall understand ver' soon. Plow, doe, kauff; and one more, r-o-u-g-h—what you call Gen. Taylor, Rauf and Ready? No? Then Row and Ready? Tu. No. R-o-u-g-h spells ruff. Fr. Ruff, ha? Let me not forget. R-o-u-g-h is ruff, and b-o-u-g-h is buff, ha ? Tu. No, bow. Fr. Ah, 't is ver' simple! wonderful language! - but I have had vat you call e-n-o-u-g-h-ha? vat you call him? — he! he! ha ha! BANISHMENT OF CATILINE. G. CROLY. SCENE: Senate in session, a consul in the chair; lictors present. Cicero concluding his speech. Cicero. Our long dispute must close. Take one proof more Of this rebellion. Lucius Catiline Has been commanded to attend the senate. He dares not come! I now demand your votes ! Is he condemned to exile ? [Enter Catiline hastily, and as he seats himself on one side, all the senators go over to the other.] Cic. [Turning to Catiline.] Here I repeat the charge, to gods and Of treasons manifold; that, but this day, He has received despatches from the rebels; That he has leagued with deputies from Gaul [men, Catiline. [Rising calmly.1 Conscript fathers! [tor done? Has the trai Cic. [Interrupting.] Deeds shall convince you! Hang hissing at the nobler men below. Cic. This is his answer! Must I bring more proofs ? Fathers, you know there lives not one of us, But lives in peril of his midnight sword. Lists of proscription have been handed round, In which your properties are made Your murderer's hire. [A cry without, "More prisoners!" Enter an officer with letters for Cicero, who, after looking at them, sends them round the senate.] Cic. Fathers of Rome! If men can be convinced By proof, as clear as daylight, here it is! Look on these letters! Here's a deep laid plot To wreck the provinces; a solemn league, all the slaves are up, The time Rome shakes! Is desperate, Go from Rome! [thrones! Cat. [Rising haughtily.] Come, consecrated lictors, from your [To the senate.] Fling down your sceptres! - take the rod and axe, |