We, on our part, fhall, doubtles, be excufed, therefore, for waiting till the man be born, before we make any comment on his life.

As to his opinions, indeed, he has let us into fome of them, as well as of the fingular ones of his father; a philofopher in grin, ípeculative, fyflematical, and one who entertained a number of very curious conceits; many of them no doubt adopted by his fon. We fhall only mention one; which, with the argumentation and manner of recommending it, may give the reader fome idea of our Triftram's father; and perhaps, not a little contribute to his affiitance, in forming fome judgment of our hero himself: who, tho' not apparently altogether fo grave a perfonage, as he represents his father to have been, is evidently no baftard.

It was the opinion of Mr. Shandy, the elder, that a great deal more depended on the choice and imposition of chriftian names, than what common fuperficial minds were capable of conceiving.

His opinion, in this matter, was, That there was a ftrange kind of magick bias, which good or bad names, as • he called them, irrefiftibly impreffed upon our characters ⚫ and conduct.

The Hero of Cervantes argued not the point with more. ferioufnefs,-nor had he more faith,-or more to say on the powers of Necromancy in difhonouring his deeds,or on Dulcinea's name, in fhedding luftre upon them, than my father had on thofe of Trifmegiftus or Archimedes, on the one hand,―or of Nyky and Šimkin on the other. How • many Cæfars and Pompeys, he would fay, by mere infpiration of the names, have been rendered worthy of them? And how many, he would add, are there who might have done exceeding well in the world, had not their characters and fpirits been totally depreffed and Nicod: mus'd'into nothing.

I fee plainly, Sir, by your looks, (or as the cafe hapi pened) my father would fay,-that you do not heartily fubfcribe to this opinion of mine,--which, to thote, he would add, who have not carefully fified it to the bottom,-I own has an air more of fancy than of folid reafoning in it ;— and yet, my dear Sir, if I may prefume to know your ‹ character, I am morally affured, I fhould hazard little in ftating a cafe to you,-not as a party in the dispute,-but as a judge, and trufting my appeal upon it to your own ood fenfe and candid difquifition in this matter;-you are

2

a perfon free from as many narrow prejudices of education as moft men ;-and, if I may prefume to penetrate further into you,-of a liberality of genius above bearing down an opinion, merely becaufe it wants friends. Your fon!-your dear fon,-from whofe fweet and open temper you have fo much to expect.-Your Billy, Sir,-would. you, for the world have called him Judas-Would you, my dear Sir, he would fay, laying his hand upon your breaft, with the genteeleft addrefs,-and in that foft and irrefiftible piano of voice, which the nature of the argu<mentum ad hominem abfolutely requires,-Would you, Sir, if a Jew of a godfather had propofed the name for your child, and offered you his purfe along with it, would you have confented to fuch a defecration of him? O my God! he would fay, looking up, if I know your temper right, Sir,-you are incapable of it; you would have trampled upon the offer;--you would have thrown the temptation at the tempter's head with abhorrence.

Your greatnefs of mind in this action, which I admire, with that generous contempt of money which you fhew me in the whole tranfaction, is really noble ;-and what renders it more fo, is the principle of it ;-the workings of a 'parent's love upon the truth and conviction of this very hypothefis, namely, That was your fon called Judas,—the fordid and treacherous idea, fo infeparable from the name, would have accompanied him thro' life like his fhadow, and, in the end, made a mifer and a rafcal of him, in fpight, Sir, of your example.'

I never knew a man, (fays our Author) able to answer this argument: but, whatever be the world's opinion of this of my father's, certain it is, he was really serious in it; and, in confequence of it, he would lofe all kind of patience whenever he faw people, especially of condition, who fhould have known better,-as carelefs and as indifferent about the name they impofed upon their child,or more fo, than in the choice of Ponto or Cupid for their puppy dog.

This, he would fay, looked ill;-and had, moreover, this particular aggravation in it, viz. That when once a vile name was wrongfully or injudiciously given, it was not like the cafe of a man's character, which, when wronged, might hereafter be cleared; and, poffibly, fometime or other, if not in the man's life, at leaft after his death,—be, fomehow or other, fet to rights with the Q9 3 world

world: But the injury of this, he would fay, could never 'be undone ;--nay, he doubted even whether an act of parliament could reach it :- He knew as well as you, that the legiflature affumed a power over furnames;—but for very frong reafons, which he could give, it had never yet adventured, he would fay, to go a step further.

It was obfervable, that tho' my father, in confequence of this opinion, had, as I have told you, the ftrongest likings and dillikings towards certain names ;-that there were still numbers of names which hung fo equally in the balance before him, that they were abfolutely indifferent to him, Jack, Dick, and Tom were of this clafs: Thefe my father called neutral names;-affirming of them, without a fatyr, That there had been as many knaves and fools, at ♦ leaft, as wife and good men, fince the world began, who had indifferently borne them;-fo that, like equal forces acting against each other in contrary directions, he thought they mutually deftroyed each other's effects; for which reafon, he would often declare, He would not give a cherryftone to choose amongst them. Bob,which was my brother's name, was another of thefe neutral kinds of Chriftian names, which operated very little either way; and as my father happened to be at Epfom, when it was given him,he would oft times thank heaven it was no worse. Andrew was fomething like a negative quantity in Algebra with him ;—it was worse, he said, than nothing.-William stood pretty high-Numps again was low with him ;—and Nick, he faid, was the Devil.

But, of all the names in the univerfe, he had the moft • unconquerable averfion for Triftram ;—he had the lowest and most contemptible opinion of it of any thing in the world,-thinking it could poffibly produce nothing in reC rum naturâ, but what was extremely mean and pitiful; So that in the midft of a difpute on the fubject, in which, by the bye, he was frequently involved,―he would fometimes break off in a fudden and fpirited Epiphenema, or rather Erotefis, raised a third, and fometimes a full fifth, above the key of the difcourfe,and demand it categorically of his antagonist, Whether he would take upon him to fay, he had ever remembered,-whether he had ever read, or even whether he had ever heard tell of a man, called Triftram, performing any thing great or worth recording?-No-, he would fay,-Triftram!-The thing is poffible.

What

• What could be wanting in my father but to have wrote a book to publish this notion of his to the world? Little <boots it to the subtle speculatift to stand single in his opinions, unless he gives them proper vent:-It was the identical thing which my father did;-for in the year fixteen, which was two years before I was born, he was at the pains of writing an exprefs Differtation fimply upon the word Triftram,-fhewing the world, with great candour and modefty, the grounds of his great abhorrence to the

<

name.

When this story is compared with the title-page,-Will not the gentle reader pity my father from his foul?—to fee an orderly and well-difpofed gentleman, who tho' fingular, yet inoffenfive in his notions,-fo played upon in them by cross purposes ;-to look down upon the stage, and fee him baffled and overthrown in all his little fyftems and wifhes; to behold a train of events perpetually falling out against him, and in fo critical and cruel a way, as if they had purpofedly been planned and pointed against him, merely to infult his fpeculations.In a word, to behold fuch a one, in his old age, ill-fitted for troubles, ten times in a day fuffering forrow ;-ten times in a day calling the child of his prayers Triftram!-Melancholy diffyllable of found! which, to his ears, was unifon to Nicompoop, and every name vituperative under heaven.--By his afhes! I fwear it,-if ever malignant fpirit took pleafure, or bufied itfelf in traverfing the purposes of mortal < man,-it must have been here;--and if it was not neceffary I fhould be born before I was chriftened, I would this moment give the reader an account of it.'

Notwithstanding the whimficalnefs of the above notion of the elder Shandy, he feems on fome other occafions to be no fool; as appears from the following fpecimen of his politics; a further confirmation of the truth of what we above hinted, of our hero himself having adopted many of his father's fingular notions,

"Was I an abfolute prince," he would fay, pulling up his breeches with both his hands, as he rofe from his armchair, "I would appoint able judges, at every avenue of my metropolis, who should take cognizance of every fool's "bufinefs who came there ;-and if, upon a fair and candid "hearing, it appeared not of weight fufficient to leave his own home, and come up, bag and baggage, with his wife and children, farmers fons, &c. &c. at his backfide, they fhould be all fent back, from conftable to conftable,

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Qq 4

"like

"like vagrants as they were, to the place of their legal "fettlements. By this means, I fhall take care, that my "metropolis tottered not through its own weight;-that the "head be no longer too big for the body;-that the extreams, now wafted and pin'd in, be restored to their due "fhare of nourishment, and regain, with it, their natural "ftrength and beauty:-I would effectually provide, That "the meadows and corn-fields, of my dominions, should

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laugh and fing;-that good chear and hospitality flourish 66 once more; and that fuch weight and influence be put "thereby into the hands of the Squirality of my kingdom, "as fhould counterpoife what I perceive my Nobility are 66 now taking from them.

"Why are there fo few palaces and gentlemen's feats, he would afk, with fome emotion, as he walked a-cross the room," throughout fo many delicious provinces in "France? Whence is it that the few remaining Chateaus "amongst them are fo difmantled,-- fo unfurnished, and in "fo ruinous and defolate a condition? Because, Sir, (he

would fay) in that kingdom no man has any country-in"tereft to fupport;-the little intereft of any kind, which any man has any where in it, is concentrated in the court, and the looks of the Grand Monarch; by the fun-fhine "of whofe countenance, or the clouds which pass a-cross it, "every Frenchman lives or dies."

But to return to our hero himself, whom we shall next confider and take leave of, as an Author; in which character we cannot help expreffing, on many accounts, a particular approbation of him. The addrefs with which he has introduced an excellent moral fermon, into a work of this nature (by which expedient, it will probably be read by many who would perufe a fermon in no other form) is masterly.

There prevails, indeed, a certain quaintnefs, and fomething like an affectation of being immoderately witty, throughout the whole work. But this is perhaps the Author's manner. Be that, however, as it will, it is generally attended with fpirit and humour enough to render it entertaining. Let the reader judge from the following fpecimen of his narrative:

Mrs. Shandy being with child of our hero, and taken fuddenly in labour *, Obadiah, the fervant, was dispatched,

on

*We cannot here forbear making a remark, as just as it is reproachful to our Author; viz. That he, by no means, discovers

⚫ither