valent, even when improper, than all the Reafon and Argument in the World without it. This Gentleman concluded his Discourse by faying, I do not doubt but if our Preachers would learn to fpeak, and our Readers to read, within Six Months Time we should not have a Diffenter within a Mile of a Church in GreatBritain.

From my own Apartment, Sept. 9.

I have a Letter from a young Fellow who complains to me, that he was bred a Mercer, and is now juft out of his Time, but unfortunately (for he has no Mannner of Education suitable to his present Estate) an Uncle has left him 1000 l. per Annum. The Young Man is fenfible that he is fo fpruce, that he fears he shall never be genteel as long as he lives, but applies himself to me to know what Method to take to help his Air, and be a Fine Gentle

man.

He says, That several of those Ladies who were formerly his Cuftomers, vifit his Mo⚫ther on Purpose to fall in his Way, and fears " he shall be obliged to marry against his Will for (fays he) if any one of them should ask me, I shall not be able to deny her. I am (fays ' he further) utterly at a Lofs how to deal with them; for though I was the most pert Creature in the World when I was Foreman, and 'could hand a Woman of the firft Quality to 'her Coach, as well as her own Gentleman' Usher, I am now quite out of my Way, and ❝ speechless in their Company. They commend my Modefty to my Face. No one scruples ta

I 4

fay,

fay, I fhould certainly make the best Husband ' in the World, a Man of my fober Education.Mrs. Wou'd-be watches all Opportunities to be alone with me: Therefore, good Mr. BickerStaff, here are my Writings enclosed; if you can find any Flaw in my Title, fo as it may go to the next Heir, who goes to St. James's Coffee-house, and White's, and could enjoy it, I 'fhould be extremely well pleased with Two • Thousand Pounds to fet up my Trade, and live ' in a Way I know I fhould become, rather than be laugh'd at all my Life among too good Company. If you could fend for my Coufin, and perfwade him to take the Estate on these Terms, and let no Body know it, you would extremely oblige me.

Upon first Sight, I thought this a very whimfical Propofal; however, upon more mature Confideration, I could not but admire the young Gentleman's Prudence and good Sense: For there is nothing fo irkfome, as living in a Way a Man knows he does not become. I confulted Mr. Obadiah Greenbat on this Occafion, and he is fo well pleased with the Man, that he has half a Mind to take the Estate himself; but upon fecond Thoughts he propofed this Expedient. I should be very willing (faid he) to keep the Estate where it is, if we could make the young Man any Way easy; therefore I humbly propose, he fhould take to Drinking for one Half-Year, and make a Sloven of him, and from thence begin his Education anew: For it is a Maxim, That one who is ill taught, is in a worse Con

dition than he who is wholly ignorant; therefore a fpruce Mercer is farther off the Air of a Fine Gentleman, than a downright Clown. To make our Patient any Thing better, we must unmake him what he is. I indeed proposed to flux him; but Greenbat anfwer'd, That if he recovered, he'd be as prim and feat as ever he was: Therefore he would have it his Way ; and our Friend is to drink till he is carbuncled, and Tun-bellied; after which we will send him down to fmoke, and be buried with his Ancestors in Derbyshire. I am indeed defirous he fhould have his Life in the Estate, because he has fuch a juft Sense of himself and his Abilities, to know that it is an Unhappiness to him to be a Man of Fortune.

This Youth feems to understand, that a Gentleman's Life is that of all others the hardest to pass through with Propriety of Behaviour; for though he has a Support without Art or Labour, yet his Manner of enjoying that Circumstance is a Thing to be confidered; and you see among Men who are honoured with the common Appellation of Gentlemen, fo many Contradictions to that Character, that it is the utmost ill Fortune to bear it: For which Reafon I am oblig'd to change the Circumftances of feveral about this Town. Harry Lacker is fo very exact in his Drefs, that I fhall give his Estate to his younger Brother, and make him a Dancing-Mafter. Nokes Lightfoot is fo nimble, and values himself fo much upon it, that I have Thoughts of making him Huntsman to a Pack of Beagles, and give his Land to some Body that will stay upon it.

Now

Now I am upon the Topick of becoming what we enjoy, I forbid all Perfons who are not of the first Quality, or who do not bear some important Office that requires fo much Distinction, to go to Hide-Park with Six Horfes, for I cannot but esteem it the highest Infolence: Therefore hereafter no Man fhall do it meerly because he is able, without any other Pretenfion. But what may ferve all Purposes quite as well, it fhall be allowed all fuch who think Riches the chief Distinction, to appear in the Ring with Two Horses only, and a Rent-Roll hanging out of each Side of their Coach. This is a Thought of Mr. Greenbat's, who defigns very foon to publish a fumptuary Difcourfe upon the Subject of Equipage, wherein he will give us Rules on that Subject, and affign the proper Duties and Qualifications of Masters and Servants, as well as that of Husbands and Wives; with a Treatise of Oeconomy without Doors, or the compleat Art of appearing in the World. This will be very useful to all who are fuddenly rich, or are afhamed of being poor.

Ter

Sunt certa Piacula, quæ te

pure lecto poterunt recreare Libello.

I have Notice of a new Pack of Dogs, of quite another Sort than hitherto mentioned. I have not an exact Account of their Way of Hunting, the following Letter giving only a bare Notice of them.

September 7.

SIR,

T

Here are another Pack of Dogs to be difpofed of, who kennel about Charing-Cross, at the old Fat Dog's at the Corner of Buckingham-Court near Spring-Garden: Two of them are faid to be whelped in Alfatia, now in Ruins; but they, with the rest of the Pack, are as pernicious, as if the old Kennel had never been broken down. The Ancients diftinguished this Sort of Curs by the Name of Hæredipetes, the most pernicious of all Biters, for feizing young Heirs, especially when their Eftates are entailed, whom they reduce by one good Bite to fuch a Condition, that they cannot ever after come to the Ufe of their Teeth, or get Smelling of a Cruft. You are defired to difpofe of these as foon as you can, that the Breed may not encrease; and your Care in tying them up, will be acknowledged by,

SIR,

Your humble Servant,
Philanthropos.

The TATLER. [N° 67. From Saturday Sept. 10. to Tuesday Sept. 13.1709.

From my own Apartment, September 12.

Ni

a

TO Man can conceive, till he comes to try it, how great a Pain it is to be a Publickfpirited Perfon. I am fure I am unable to express to the World, with great Anxiety I have fuffer