(faid he) Why did you run into fuch Expref fions? I was, faid he, in the highest Delight with that Author when you clap'd your Squirrel upon my Book; and fmiling, added upon Recollection, I have a great Respect for your Favourite, and pray let us all be Friends. My Lady was fo far from accepting this Apology, that the immediately conceived a Refolution to keep him under for ever; and with a ferious Air, replied, There is no Regard to be had to what a Man fays, who can fall into fo indecent a Rage, and fuch an abject Submiffion, in the fame Moment, for which I abfolutely despise you. Upon which she rushed out of the Room. Sir Harry ftayed fome Minutes behind to think and command himself; after which he followed her into her Bedchamber, where fhe was proftrate upon the Bed, tearing her Hair, and naming Twenty Coxcombs who would have used her otherwife. This provoked him to fo high a Degree, that he forbore nothing but Beating her; and all the Servants in the Family were at their several Stations listening, while the best Man and Woman, the best Master and Mistress, defamed each other in a way that is not to be repeated even at Billing fgate. You know this ended in an immediate Separation: She longs to return Home, but knows not how to do it: He invites her Home every Day, and lies with every Woman he can get. Her Husband requires no Submission of her; · but he thinks her very Return will argue the is to blame, which the is refolved to be for ever, rather than acknowledge it.

Thus,

Thus, dear Jenny, my great Advice to you is, Be guarded against giving or receiving little Provocations. Great Matters of Offence I have no Reason to fear, either from you or your Hufband. After this, we turned our Difcourfe into a more gay Style, and parted: But before we did fo, I made her refign her Snuff-Box for ever, and half drown her felf with washing away the Stench of the Mufty.

But the Wedding Morning arrived, and our Family being very numerous, there was no avoiding the Inconvenience of making the Ceremony and Festival more publick, than the modern Way of celebrating them makes me approve of. The Bride next Morning came out of her Chamber, dreffed with all the Art and Care that Mrs. Toilet the Tire-Woman could bestow on her. She was on her Wedding Day Three and twenty: Her Person is far from what we call a regular Beauty; but a certain Sweetness in her Countenance, an Eafe in her Shape and Motion, with an unaffected Modesty in her Looks, had Attractions beyond what Symmetry and Exactness can inspire without the Addition of these Endowments. When her Lover entered the Room, her Features flush'd with Shame and Joy; and the ingenuous Manner, fo full of Paffion and of Awe, with which Tranquillus approached to falute her, gave me good Omens of his future Behaviour towards her. The Wedding was wholly under my Care. After the Ceremony at Church, I was refolved to entertain the Company with a Dinner fuitable to the Occafion, and pitched upon the Apollo, at the Old Devil at TemP 4

ple

ple-Bar, as a Place facred to Mirth, temper'd with Discretion, where Ben Johnson and his Sons used to make their liberal Meetings. Here the Chief of the Staffian Race appeared; and as soon as the Company were come into that ample Room, Lepidus Wagstaff began to make me Compliments for chufing that Place, and fell into a Difcourfe upon the Subject of Pleasure and Entertainment, drawn from the Rules of Ben's Club, which are in Gold Letters over the Chimney. Lepidus has a Way very uncommon, and Speaks on Subjects, on which any Man elle would certainly offend, with great Dexterity. He gave us a large Account of the publick Meetings of all the well-turned Minds who had paffed through this Life in Ages paft, and closed his pleafing Narrative with a Discourse on Marriage, and a Repetition of the following Verses out of Milton.

Hail wedded Love! myfterious Law! true Source
Of humane Offspring, Sole Propriety
In Paradife, of all Things common elfe.
By the adult'rous Luft was driv'n from Men
Among the beftial Herds to range; by thee,
Founded in Reafon, loyal, just, and pure,
Relations dear, and all the Charities

Of Father, Son, and Brother, first were known.
Perpetual Fountain of domeftick Sweets,
Whofe Bed is undefiled, and chaft pronounced,
Prefent or paft, as Saints or Patriarchs used.
Here Love his Golden Shafts employs; here lights
His conftant Lamp, and waves his Purple Wings:

Reigns here, and revels not in the bought Smile
Of Harlots, loveless, joyless, unindear'd,
Cafual Fruition; nor in Court Amours,

Mixed Dance, or wanton Mask, or Midnight Ball,
Or Serenade, which the ftarv'd Lover fings,
To his proud Fair beft quitted with Difdain.

In these Verses, all the Images that can come into a young Woman's Head on fuch an Occafion, are raised; but that in fo chast and elegant a Manner, that the Bride thanked him for his agreeable Talk, and we fat down to Dinner.

Among the rest of the Company, there was got in a Fellow you call a Wag. This ingenious Perfon is the usual Life of all Feasts and Merriments, by speaking Abfurdities, and putting every Body of Breeding and Modesty out of Countenance. As foon as we fat down, he drank to the Bride's Diversion that Night, and then made Twenty double Meanings on the Word Thing. We are the best bred Family, for one so numerous, in this Kingdom; and indeed we should all of us have been as much out of Countenance as the Bride, but that we were relieved by an honeft rough Relation of ours at the lower End of the Table, who is a Lieutenant of Marines. The Soldier and Sailor had good plain Senfe, and faw what was wrong as well as another; he had a Way of looking at his Plate, and speaking aloud in an inward Manner; and whenever the Wag mentioned the Word Thing, or the Words, That fame, the Lieutenant in that Voice cried, Knock him down.

The

The merry Man wondring, angry, and looking round, was the Diversion of the Table. When he offered to recover, and say, To the Bride's best Thoughts, Knock him down, fays the Lieutenant, and so on. This filly Humour diverted, and faved us from the fulfom Entertainment of an ill-bred Coxcomb, and the Bride drank the Lieutenant's Health. We returned to my Lodging, and Tranquillus led his Wife to her Apartment, without the Ceremony of throwing the Stocking, which generally cofts Two or Three Maidenheads without any Ceremony at all.

The TATLER. [N° 80.

From Tuefd. Octob. 11. to Thurfd. Octob. 13. 1709.

ΤΗ

Grecian Coffee-houfe, Octob. 12.

HIS learned Board has complained to me of the exorbitant Price of late Years put upon Books, and confequently on Learning, which has raised the Reward demanded by learned Men for their Advice and Labour. In order to regulate and fix a Standard in thefe Matters; Divines, Phyficians, and Lawyers, have fent in large Propofals, which are of great Light and Inftruction. From the Perufal of thefe Memorials, I am come to this immediate Refolution, till I have Leifure to treat the Matter at large; viz. In Divinity, Fathers fhall be valued according to their Antiquity; School

men