49 nexion in his Speech, or fo much as common Sense, has arrived by his own natural Parts at one of the greatest Estates amongst us. But honest Sir Tristram knows himself to be but a Repofitory for Cafh: He is juft fuch an Utenfil as his Iron Cheft, and may rather be faid to hold Money, than poffefs it. There is nothing fo pleasant as to be in the Conversation of these wealthy Proficients. I had lately the Honour to drink Half a Pint with Sir Triftram, Harry Coppersmith, and Giles Twofhoes. Thefe Wags give one another Credit in Difcourfe according to their Purses; they jeft by the Pound, and make Anfwers as they honour Bills. Without Vanity, I thought my self the Prettieft Fellow of the Company; but I had no Manner of Power over one Muscle in their Faces, tho' they sneer'd at every Word spoken by each other. Sir Triftram called for a Pipe of Tobacco; and telling us Tobacco was a Pot-Herb, bid the Drawer bring in t'other Half-Pint. Twofhoes laughed at the Knight's Wit without Moderation. I took the Liberty to fay, it was but a Pun. A Pun! fays Copperfmith: You would be a better Man by 100001. if you could pun like Sir Triftram. With that, they all burst out together. The Queer Curs maintained this Style of Dialogue till we had drank our Quarts a-piece by Half-Pints. All I could bring away with me, is, That Twofhoes is not worth Twenty Thousand Pounds; for his Mirth, tho' he was as infipid as either of the others, had no more Effect upon the Company, than if he had been a Bankrupt. [Vol. 2.] E From From my own Apartment, August 19. I have heard, it has been advifed by a Diocefan to his inferior Clergy, that inftead of broaching Opinions of their own, and uttering Do&trines which may lead themselves and Hearers into Errors, they would read fome of the most celebrated Sermons printed by others for the Instruction of their Congregations. In Imitation of fuch Preachers at Second-hand, I fhall transcribe from Bruyere one of the most elegant Pieces of Raillery and Satyr which I have ever read. He defcribes the French, as if fpeaking of a People not yet difcover'd, in the Air and Style of a Traveller. I have heard talk of a Country where the old Men are Gallant, Polite and Civil: The young Men, on the contrary, Stubborn, Wild, without either Manners or Civility. They are free from Paffion for Women, at the Age when in other Countries they begin to feel it; and prefer Beafts, Victuals, and ridiculous Amours, before them. Amongst thefe People, he is fober who is never drunk with any Thing but Wine; the too frequent Use of it has rendered it flat and infipid to them: They endeavour by Brandy, and other ftrong Liquors, to quicken their Taste, already extinguif'd, and want nothing to compleat their Debauches, but to drink Aqua Fortis. The Women of that Country haften the Decay of their Beauty, by their Artifices to preferve it: They paint their Cheeks, Eyebrows, and Shoulders, which they lay open, together with their Breafts, Arms and Ears, as if they were afraid to hide thofe Places which they think will pleafe, and never think they show enough enough of them. The Phyfiognomies of the People of that Country are not at all neat, but confufed and embarraffed with a Bundle of strange Hair, which they prefer before their natural: With this they weave Something to cover their Heads, which defcends down half Way their Bodies, hides their Features, and hinders you from knowing Men by their Faces. This Nation has befides this, their God and their King. The Grandees go every Day at a certain Hour to a Temple they call a Church: At the upper End of that Temple there ftands an Altar confecrated to their God, where the Priest celebrates fome Mysteries which they call holy, facred and tremendous. The great Men make a vaft Circle at the Foot of the Altar, ftanding with their Backs to the Priest and the Holy Myfteries, and their Faces erected towards their King, who is Seen on his Knees upon a Throne, and to whom they feem to direct the Defires of their Hearts, and all their Devotion. However, in this Custom there is to be remarked a Sort of Subordination; for the People appear adoring their Prince, and their Prince adoring God. The Inhabitants of this Region call it 'Tis from Forty eight Degrees of Latitude, and more than Eleven hundred Leagues by Sea, from the Irọquois and Hurons. Letters from Hampstead fay, There is a Coxcomb arrived there, of a Kind which is utterly new. The Fellow has Courage, which he takes himself to be obliged to give Proofs of every Hour he lives. He is ever fighting with the Men, and contradicting the Women. A Lady who fent him to me, fuperfcribed him with this Description out of Suckling: E 2 I am I am a Man of War and Might, No Woman under Heaven I fear, The TATLER. [N° 58. From Saturday Aug. 20. to Tuesday Aug. 22. 1709 White's Chocolate-house, August 22. POOR Cynthio (who does me the Honour to talk to me now and then very freely of his most secret Thoughts, and tells me his moft private Frailties) own'd to me, that tho' he is in his very Prime of Life, Love had killed all his Defires, and he was now as much to be trusted with a Fine Lady, as if he were Eighty. That one Paffion for Clariffa has taken up (faid he) my whole Soul, and all my idle Flames are extinguifhed, as you may obferve, ordinary Fires are often put out by the Sunshine. This was a Declaration not to be made, but upon the highest Opinion of a Man's Sincerity; yet as much a Subject of Raillery as fuch a Speech would be, it is certain, that Chastity is a nobler Quality, and as much to be valued in Men as in Women. The mighty Scipio, who (as Bluffe fays in the Comedy) was a Pretty Fellors Fellow in his Time, was of this Mind, and is celebrated for it by an Author of good Senfe. When he lived, Wit, and Humour, and Raillery, and publick Succefs, were at as high a Pitch at Rome, as at prefent in England; yet I believe, there was no Man in thofe Days thought that General at all ridiculous in his Behaviour in the following Account of him: Scipio, at Four and Twenty Years of Age, had obtained a great Victory, and a Multitude of Prisoners of each Sex, and all Conditions, fell into his Poffeffion: Among others, an agreeable Virgin in her early Bloom and Beauty. He had too fenfible a Spirit to see the most lovely of all Objects without being moved with Palfion Befides which, there was no Obligation of Honour or Virtue to reftrain his Defires towards one who was his by the Fortune of War. But a noble Indignation, and a fudden Sorrow, which appeared in her Countenance, when a Conqueror caft his Eyes upon her, raised his Curiofity to know her Story. He was informed, That she was a Lady of the highest Condition in that Country, and contracted to Indibilis, a Man of Merit and Quality. The generous Roman foon placed himself in the Condition of that unhappy Man, who was to lofe fo charming a Bride; and though a Youth, a Batcheler, a Lover, and a Conqueror, immediately refolved to refign all the Invitations of his Paffion, and the Rights of his Power, to restore her to her deftined Husband. With this Purpose he commanded her Parents and Relations, as well as her Husband, to attend him |