might be welcome to it, and much good may it do them with it; but as to holding a difcourfe before hand, why I know no more on it, than I do of riding a horfe-match It was all a cafe for that, he faid, I must stand upon one tack or t'other about it; fo he clapped pen, ink and paper along fide, and bid me begin my preface. I cou'd not help ftaring at him, to be fure, for I was as much at a loss as a dancing-mafter in the bilbows-however, write I must-so I begun. Wind S. S. W, Ufhant bearing-but avaft, fays my Friend, that way won't do-that writing's in wrong trim: this is the fault of all you voyage writers-your accounts are three parts out of four, filled with winds, distances, bearings, variations, currents, headlands, fuch unentertaining accounts you must leave all them out. I look'd at my friend, juft for all the world (as I fuppofe) a landman wou'd at me, if I was to try to talk Latin: I told him he was wrong, but I íupposed that he new beft. So he might go on, if he pleased; but for me to pretend to write, and not write in fhip fhape, why it was all the fame as coming into foundings without a lead line. At last, though he agreed to let me make it out my own way, but then he would overhawl my dialect, as he called it. out a preface, I'll tell one of my father's old ftories, concerning how one of his mess-mates once went a hunting. Will Oakham met Jack Spunyarn one day on the beach, and Jack had his starboard arm flung in a handkerchief; fo fays Will, what cheer Jack, what have you got your arm clued up in the brails for? I don't know, fays Jack, but it ant block and block with my shoulder as it used to be. How fo, enquires Will? Why, I'll tell you, replies Spunyarn; last week, you must know, I went to fee father; fo he asked me to take a day's failing a hunting with him it was too late then, fo we all turned into hammock; but next morning we were piped all hands to mount, and as the swabber rigg'd my horfe, I ask'd how the beast went, and for fear he fhould be too much by the head, I had a back ftay clapped on. At the larboard fide of a gravel pit we spied a hare at anchor-so we gave her chafe, and she tack'd, and we tack'd, and just as I had weather'd her, my horfe came bump ashore upon a stone — the back ftay broke, he pitch'd me over the forecastle, came keel upwards upon me, and unshipped my fhoulderfo there was an end of the failors hunting, and my preface, good friend, and a good voyage through life to you. M. F. Epitaph by Mr. ROBERT LLOYD. EST undifturb'd ye much lamented pair, R But that I faid would not do, I must fay my fay my own way, as to clearing the book of winds, bearings and fo forth, with all my heart, though I must tell it just as I know how to tell it; befides, as I faid to him, don't every body talk and write in their own manner. You shall hear jockies talk about off and near fide, and fcholars about nouns and pronouns, and foldiers of flanks and vans and rears; and why then may not we about fore and aft and latitudes. I remember my father, who was in the Torbay at Vigo, he used. to tell fome stories when he was at home that all the land-men liked, yet they were all worded, as we failors talk; and fince I don't know how to make. The fmiling infant, and the rifing heir; Ah! what avails it that the blooms fhoot, In early promife of maturer fruit. If Death's chill hand shall nip their infant bloom,...! And wither all their honours in the tomb; Yet weep not, if in Life's allotted share, Swift fled their youth, they knew not age's care. The BEAUTIES of all the MAGAZINES SELECTED, For JULY 1762. CONTINUATION of the AMOURS of WIT and OECONOMY. As WIT was walking from his houfe, he broke out into raptures on the gracefulness of Mifs OECONOMY's figure; and in the pretty poetical stile of lovers declared, that there was Eloquence in her looks, and the spoke in her filence; that fhe was more lovely than the fairest bloffom of the spring; that the blush on her cheeks made the coral turn pale; that her teeth were finer polished than pearl; her breath more aromatic than breezes from the Spice Ilands; her neck fullied the undrifted fnow; that the stars to her eyes were but gloworms tails; and that the converfation of Celestials to her company, was as dull as a winter's noon to a May-day's morn. HERMES, who was never better pleafed than when he could promote mifchief, infifted upon carrying a billet doux to her next morning. This WIT did not immediately affent to; he had never yet tried his talent in love letters, and had often heard MERCURY fay, that a man might be very entertaining as a companion, yet contemptible as a writer; and that they who talked the beft, generally wrote the worst; and that when men of repartee and high frolic would become writers, for the most part they were as much at a lofs, as a milk-maid among her betters. Therefore WIT told HERMES, he would think about the affair, but he had not opportunity to fay any more, for they were arrived at the house of PRUDENCE, who received them with abundance of hospitality, made fome apologies for the homeliness of his dwelling, inducted WIT into the parlour, and obferved to him, that it was rather too late, or they would have drank a glass of home brewed together. But WIT, who was as averfe to keeping good hours, as he was to keeping his accounts, replied, time only was to be minded by those who were to be paid for it; that the fingle-locked glutton would not stay for them, why should they stay for him? that the prefent moment was all we could pretend to; what we had, we enjoyed, the reft was no more to us than fame to the dead; that we ought to pick the fweet morfels of pleasure in our prime, and tofs the fcraps of our age to the iron-toothed offal-monger; that he defpifed all time. pieces; and that Inclination and Opportunity ought to be Life's Regulators. PRUDENCE, who was a ftranger to fuch fort of doctrine, stared at WIT, I i as .7 O breeding, that it will now and then force even PRUDENCE to act out of Character, which he then did, for he drew a long cork for his gueft at midnight, However, the hoft took care to let his guest know, but in such a manner it cou'd not be taken ill, that it was past twelve o'clock-upon which Wit fung the following fong; which, for the entertainment of thofe readers who have not yet met with it, we shall infertas follows. I. NE evening good Humour took Wit as his guest, Their liquor was Claret, and Friendship their hoft, II. Derry down. But while, like true Bucks, they enjoy'd their defign, III.** They nimbly ran down, the disturbing dog found, IV. Derry, &c. His glafs as his lanthorn, his fcythe as his pole, Derry, &c. Derry, &c. Says the venom'd tooth'd favage, on this advice fix, This is right, call'd out WIT, while you're yet in your prime, There is nothing like Claret for killing of Time. Huzza, reply'd Love, now no more can he knock, Ory impertinent tell us, 'tis paft 12 o'clock. VII. Since Time is confin'd to our wine, let us think, By this maxin were fure of our time when we drink; しょ Derry, &c. With bumpers, my Lad, let our glasses be prim'd, DA Derry, &c. SILK GARTERS. their trust beguile, It is an observation made, either be XXXXXXXX fore or fince the Flood, that when Soe briety goes off guard, Rakery comes To a LADY, fent with a Pair of on. PRUDENCE grew very fond of his guest, many long corks were drawn, feveral droll fongs were fung, and many good things faid-but WIT grew rather too perfonal in his repartees, and his Hoft began to be serious in his obfervations. PRUDENCE began to give WIT advice, which was as difagreable to the young Genius, as if he had of fer'd him phyfic. They began to grow out of temper with each other; and as the wine went about, their altercations increased; from words they proceeded to blows, and WIT ingratefully, with the help of HERMES, beat PRUDENCE out of doors. OECONOMY's brother immediately hurry'd away to his fifter's, rapped at the door, as if there was a fire in the neighbourhood; and the moment the ftreet door was opened for him, ran up to his fifter's chamber, and waking her, very haftily infifted (without allowing her time to recollect herself) that the should take an oath immediately never to give any countenance to that ftrange rafcal WIT, or ever speak to him again. At that very inftant, it happen'd the young lady was in the midst of a very agreeable dream; the fuppofed that WIT had been her partner at an affembly that night, that he had feen her home, and was just then faluting herwhen PRUDENCE broke in and difturb ed her. It must certainly (as Mifs Dy obferved) be moft cruelly provok-ing. Befides, his demanding such a thing in fo peremptory a manner, nothing being fo mal à propos, as advice in the ftile of an injunction, efpecially to any young lady, who had fenfe enough to think for herfelf. To be continued. May never thefe their In flips to ladies shocking; "Now, boni foit qui mal y pense Quoth EDWARD, knighthood's donor, "And let it not, my lords, be told Nor 'ere fhall waggery deride, 66 To wear this badge of honour. "Hence if we trust historic fame, "Truth's general recorder, "Th'original of knighthood came, "And Garters facred order." May these around the bed-post strung In love's prophetic charms, Black Lyon; from whence the following calculation was made. "The price of a pint of Rack punch, reduced to its loweft denomination, is 96 halfpence. The price of a pot of Porter is 7 halfpence. Now as 7 is to 9, fo is the merit of Country Players The Power of INNOCENCE, A true Story, by the Author of the Fable of the Cock and the Doves. If the twang of a Chinese gong be equal in unifon to the 3d, 5th, or 8th of a 'cauldron, whofe diameter is 32 feet 4 inches, what is the fuperior force 4.1 of elastic, percuffion, from the found of firft the nuptials ftate we one pair of Kettle-drums, to the fingle note of a folus Drum Battledore? Let the attitude of Goody Crouche's joint-tool, while he is feated on it from any given diftance, be taken perpendicularly from A to B; then let a diagonal line be ftruck from his heel to his, knee C D, and a horizontal one then must be drawn from E to F. WHEN prove, We live the happy life of love; Then fuffer the parabolic curve G H to defcribe of the fegment of the ellip-From trifling, anger moftly fprings. fis T K; which, multiplied by the third of the diameter, proves the center of gravity. Two ladies being in company with two gentlemen, viz. W Z cum XY; they went right hand and left for 8 minutes, 4 feconds and without stopping; the room was 18 feet wide, 22 feet long: I demand how many times, during the going right and left, W fhook hands with Y, who was partner with Z; and how often double U's partner fhook hands with Z ? N. B. This is a prize question, and the lady or gentleman which refolves it, shall be rewarded with a pound of gingerbread game nuts.\ T A Scale of Merit, for the nfe of all The with to please forfook each breast, Come, Bettfy, bid Mama good-by.” The lady, trembling, anfwer'd, "No"Go, kifs Papa, my Bettfy, go. The child fall live with me"-she |