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Or on the turf let jockeys * try,

And on the racer's power presume: They too are ruin'd-And for why? They risk their fortunes with a groom.

If to the Stock Exchange + you speed,
To try with bulls and bears your luck,
'Tis odds, you soon from gold are freed,
And waddle forth a limping duck.

* The turf is, of all species of gambling, that which capacitates its votaries the most to pursue unjustifiable means for the attainment of gold; so many instances of which have been recorded, that it would be needless to descant further upon the topic. I should, however, be guilty of a most flagrant error, were I not to remark that, when a gentleman degrades himself by turning jockey, I conceive that he is of a bastard breed; and in despite of his estate and rank, merely descends to that natural standard, from which a variety of circumstances had raised him, only to render his real insignificance and folly the more eminently conspicuous.

†These are your city gamesters, who equally have recourse to fraudulent methods in order to amass wealth; for who but remembers the expedients resorted to during the last war, when even placards were stuck up at the Mansion House! so completely was the hook swal

By av'rice* led, when fortune smiles,
And answers all the gambler's ends;
He still must own his golden piles

Were gain'd by ruin of his friends.

lowed by the Stock Exchange gudgeons! In short, gambling is at best but an avaricious propensity, A gli avari sempre osce una goccia di sangue avanti che diano un quatrino per amor di Dio; and as it affixes no bounds to its desires, it is equally unrestrained by any principle of honour or of justice: therefore, when a man stakes his wealth, jacta est alea, and he must abide the hazard of the adventurous enterprize, if not seconded by chicane and villany, which is generally resorted to by such as have been subjected to bad luck, and conceive it a just retort for the deprivations thus experienced at the shrine of fortune.

* Avarice being the incentive to gaming, a gambler necessarily carries with him, not only his own bane but that of others; for we may say with Juvenal:

Dives ficri qui vult,

Et cito vult fieri

is never deterred from the gratification of his insatiable pursuit, either by moral or religious obligations; consequently it not only warps the mental, but imperceptibly destroys the animal being; for he who lives a life of incessant anxiety, exists for the purpose alone which excites it, be it good or evil; therefore shun, as one of the most deadly poisons, this improper thirst for riches;

L'ENVOY OF THE POET.

To value gold, its worth should first be known: 'Tis industry gives little, all its zest.

And he whose labour makes his bread his own, May rank on earth as most supremely blest.

THE POET'S CHORUS TO FOOLS.

Come, trim the boat, row on each Rara Avis, Crowds flock to man my Stultifera Navis.

and although allured by the good luck of others, always remember that there is a loser as well as a winner, and that the odds are against you: so may you exclaim with Virgil:

Mene salis placidi vultum, fluctusque quietos

Ignorare jubes? mene huic confidere monstro?

SECTION XIV.

OF FOOLISH PRIESTS AND

BABBLING PAR

SONS IN THE CHOIR.

I veri predicatori danno frutti, e non fiori.

To wear the sable garb of sanctity,
And be the slave of mundane vanity*,

* There is no rule without an exception; an instance of which will be found in the following anecdote, redounding highly to the credit of the testator; who thereby evinced a just sentiment of love for decency, and contempt for the prevalent follies of the age.

A worthy clergyman, in Yorkshire, lately deceased, bequeathed in his will a considerable property to his only daughter, on the subsequent conditions: First, That she did not enter into the state of matrimony without the consent of his two executors, or their representatives. Secondly, That she dressed with greater decency than she had hitherto been accustomed to do. The testator's words were:

"But as my daughter Ann hath not attended to my admonitions, respecting the filthy and lewd custom of dressing with naked elbows, my will is, that in case she

Displeaseth most my thought:

Yet fools there are that boast religion's guise, Whose conduct slurs their functions in men's

eyes,

Who think the calling naught*.

persists in so gross a violation of female decency, the whole of the property devised by me as aforesaid, and intended as a provision for her future life, shall go to the eldest son of my sister Caroline - - and his heirs lawfully begotten. To those who may say this restriction is severe, I answer, that an indecent display of personal habiliments in women, is a certain indication of intellectual depravity."

*As a specimen of that indefatigable zeal which should characterize the clerical robe, the following extract from the Harleian MSS. No. 6824, fol. 190, is offered, by way of lesson, to all idle fools of this class.

Saturday, June 24, 1724, I was at the funeral of the Rev. Mr. Foard, curate of Marybone. The Rev. Mr. Thos. Riddle, who was curate of St. Giles in the Fields, and since lecturer, gave the following account, that on one certain Sunday he [Mr. Riddle] performed the following duties;

In the morning, married six couple; then read the whole prayers, and preached; after that churched six women. In the afternoon, read prayers and preached; christened 32 children; six at home, the rest at the font; bu

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