THE MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR *. DRAMATIS PERSONÆ. Sir JOHN FALSTAFF. Mr. Fage, two gentlemen dwel Dr. Caius, a French Door. Bradolph, Pistol, Nym, harpers attending on Falfaff. Robin, page to Falstaff Page, in love with Fenton. ACT I. SCENE I. Before Page's houfe in Windfor. Enter Juftice Shallow, Slender, and Sir Hugh Evans: SIR Shal. IR Hugh, perfuade me not; I will make a Star-chamber matter of it: if he were twenty Sir John Falftaffs, he fhall not abuse Robert Shallow, Efq; Slen. In the county of Gloucefter Juftice of Peace, and Coram. Shali * This play was written in the author's beft and ripeft years, after Henry IV. by the command of Q. Elifabeth. There is a tradition, that it was compofed at a fortnight's warning: but that must be meant only of the firft imperfect sketch of this comedy, which is yet extant in an old quarto edition printed in 1619. This, which we have here, was altered and improved by the author almoft in every speech. Mr. Pope. Shal. Ay, coufin Slender, and Cuftalorum. Slen. Ay, and Rato-lorum too; and a gentleman born, Mafter Parfon, who writes himself Armigero in any bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation; Armigero. Shal. Ay, that I do, and have done any time these three hundred years. Slen. All his fucceffors gone before him have don't; and all his ancestors that come after him may; they may give the dozen white luces in their coat. Shal. It is an old coat. Eva. The dozen white lowfes do become an old coat well; it agrees well, paffant; it is a familiar beast to man, and fignifies love. Shal. The luce is the frefl fifh, the falt fifh is an old coat. Slen. I may quarter, coz. Shal. You may by marrying. Eva. It is marring indeed, if he quarter it. Eva. Yes, per-lady; if he has a quarter of your coat, there is but three skirts for yourself, in my fimple conjectures; but that is all one. If Sir John Falstaff have committed difparagements upon you, I am of the church,. and would be glad to do my benevolence, to make atone- ments and conpromifes between you. Shal. The council fhall hear it; it is a riot. Eva. It is not meet the council hear of a riot; there is no fear of Got in a riot: the council, look you, fhall defire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a riot; your viza-ments in that. take Shal. Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the fword fhould end it. Eva. It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it; and there is also another device in my prain, which, peradventure, prings good difcretions with it; there is Anne Page, which is daughter to Maiter George Page, which is pretty virginity. Slen. Miftrefs Anne Page? fhe has brown hair, and fpeaks fmall like a woman. Eva. It is that ferry perfon for all the 'orld, as juft as you will defire; and feven hundred pounds of monies, and gold and filver, is her grandfire upon his death'sVOL. I. bed bed (Got deliver to a joyful refurrections) give, when fhe is able to overtake feventeen years old: it were a good motion, if we leave our pribbles and prabbles, and defire a marriage between Master Abraham and Mistress Anne Page. Slen. Did her grandfire leave her feven hundred pounds? Eva. Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny. Slen. I know the young gentlewoman; the has good gifts. Eva. Seven hundred pounds, and poffibilities, is good gifts. Shal. Well, let us fee honeft Mr. Page: is Falstaff there? Eva Shall I tell you a lie? I do defpife a liar, as I do defpife one that is falfe, or as I defpife one that is not true. The Knight, Sir John, is there; and, I befeech you, be ruled by your well-wishers. I will peat the door [Knocks.] for Mafter Page. What, hoa? Got blefs your houfe here. SCENE II. Enter Mr. Page. Page. Who's there? Eva. Here is Got's pleffing, and your friend, and Juftice Shallow; and here's young Master Slender; that, peradventures, fhall tell you another tale, if matters grow to your likings. Page. I am glad to fee your Worships well. I thank you for my venifon, Master Shallow. Shal. Mafter Page, I am glad to see you; much good do it your good heart: I wifh'd your venifon better; it was ill kill'd. How doth good Miftrefs Page? and I thank you always with my heart, la; with my heart. Page. Sir, I thank you.. Shal. Sir, I thank you; by yea and no I do. fay he was out-run on Cotfale. Page. It could not be judg'd, Sir. Slen. You'll not confefs, you'll not confefs, Shal. That he will not; 'tis your fault, 'tis your fault; 'tis a good dog. Page. Page. A cur, Sir. Shal. Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog: can there be more faid? he is good and fair. here? Is Sir John Falstaff Page Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good office between you. Eva. It is fpoke as a Chriftians ought to speak. Page Sir, he doth, in fome fort, confefs it. Shal. If it be confefs'd; it is not redrefs'd; is not that fo, Mafter Page? he hath wrong'd me; indeed he hath; at a word, he hath; believe me, Robert Shallow, Efquire, faith, he is wrong'd. Page. Here comes Sir John. SCENE III. Enter Sir John Falstaff, Bardolph, Nym, and Piftol. Fal. Now, Mafter Shallow, you'll complain of me to the council. Shal. Knight, you have beaten my men, kill'd my deer, and broke open my lodge. Fal. But not kifs'd your keeper's daughter? Shal. Tut, a pin; this fhall be anfwer'd. Fal. I will anfwer it ftrait: I have done all this. That is now anfwer'd. Shal. The council fhall know this. Fal. 'Twere better for you if 'twere not known in council; you'll be laugh'd at. Eva. Pauca verba, Sir John, good worts. Fal. Good worts? good cabbage. Slender, I broke your head; what matter have you against me? Slen. Marry, Sir; I have matter in my head against you, and against your cony-catching rafcals Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol. Bar. You Banbury cheese! Slen. Ay, it is no matter. Pift. How now, Mephoftophilus? Slen. Ay, it is no matter. Q 2 Nym. Nym. Slice, I fay; pauca, pauca: flice, that's my hu mour. Slen. Where's Simple, my man? can you tell, coufin? Eva. Peace: I pray you: now let us underiland; there is three umpires in this matter, as I understand; that is, Mafter Page; fidelicet, Malter Page; and there is myfelf; fidelicet, myfelf; and the three party is, laftly and finally, mine Hoft of the Garter. Page. We three to hear it, and end it between them. Eva. Ferry goot; I will make a prief of it in my notebook, and we will afterwards 'ork upon the cause with as great difcreetly as we can. Fal. Piftol. Pift. He hears with ears. Eva. The tevil and his tam! what phrafe is this, he hears with ear? why, it is affectations. Fal. Piftol, did you pick Mafter Slender's purfe? Slan. Ay, by thefe gloves, did he, (or I would I might never come in mine own great chamber again elfe,) of feven groats in mill-fixpences, and two Edward fhovelboards, that coft me two fhilling and twopence a-piece of Yead Miller, by thefe gloves. Fal. Is this true, Piftol? Eva. No; it is falfe, if it is a pick-purfe. Pil. Ha, thou mountain-foreigner! Sir John, and mafter mine. I combat challenge of this latten bilboe: Slen. By thefe gloves, then 'twas he. Nym. Be advis'd, Sir, and pafs good humours; I will fay marry trap with you, if you run the bafe humour on ine; that is the very note of it. Slen. By this hat then, he in the red face had it; for though I cannot remember what I did when you made me drunk, yet I am not altogether an afs. Fal. What fay you, Scarlet and John? Bard. Why, Sir, for my part, 1 fay, the gentleman had drunk himself out of his five fentences. Eva. It is his five fenses: fie, what the ignorance is! Bard. And being fap, Sir, was, as they say, cafhier'd; and fo conclufions paft the car-eires. Slen |