Fal. Fare thee well; commend me to them both; there's my purfe, I am yet thy debtor. Boy, go along with this woman. This news diftracts me. [Exe. Quick and Robin. Pift. This punk is one of Cupid's carriers: Clap on more fails; purfue; up with with your fights: Give fire! fhe is my prize, or ocean whelm them all! [Exit Piftol. Fal. Say'ft thou fo, old Jack? go thy ways; I'll make more of thy old body, than I have done; will they yet look after thee? Wilt thou, after the expence of fo much money, be now a gainer? good body, I thank thee; let them fay, 'tis grofly done; fo be it fairly done, no matter. Enter Bardolph. Bard. Sir John, there's one mafter Brook below would fain fpeak with you, and be acquainted with you; and hath fent your worship a morning's draught of fack. Fal. Brook, is his name? Bard. Ay, Sir. Fal. Call him in; [Exit Bardolph.] Such Brooks are welcome to me, that o'erflow with fuch liquor. Ah! ah! miftrefs Ford and miftrefs Page, have I encompafs'd you? go to, via! Re-enter Bardolph, with Ford difguis'd.. Ford. Blefs you, Sir. Fal. And you, Sir; would you speak with me? upon you. Fál. You're welcome; what's your will? give us leave, drawer. [Exit Bardolph. Ford. Sir, I am a gentleman that have spent much; my name is Brook. Fal. Good mafter Brook, I defire more acquaintance of you. Ford. Good Sir John, I fue for yours; not to charge you; for I must let you understand, I think myself in better plight for a lender than you are, the which hath M 5 fome fomething embolden'd me to this unfeafon'd intrusion; for they fay, if money go before, all ways do lie open. Fal. Money is a good foldier, Sir, and will on. Ford. Troth, and I have a bag of money, here, troubles me if you will help me to bear it, Sir John, take all, or half, for eafing me of the carriage. Fal. Sir, I know not how I may deferve to be your porter. Ford. I will tell you, Sir, if you will give me the hearing. Fal. Speak, good mafter Brook, I fhall be glad to be your fervant. Ford. Sir, I hear you are a fcholar; (I will be brief with you ;) and you have been a man long known to me, tho' I had never fo good means, as defire, to make myfelf acquainted with you: I fhall difcover a thing to you, wherein I must very much lay open mine own imperfections; but good Sir John, as you have one eye upon my follies, as you hear them unfolded, turn another into the register of your own, that I may pafs with a reproof the eafier; fith you yourself know, how easy it is to be fuch an offender. Fal. Very well: Sir, proceed. Ford. There is a gentlewoman in this town, her hufband's name is Ford. Fal. Well, Sir. Ford. I have long lov'd her; and I proteft to you, beftow'd much on her; follow'd her with a doating obfervance; ingrofs'd opportunities to meet her; fee'd every flight occafion, that could but niggardly give me fight of her; not only bought many prefents to give her, but have given largely to many, to know what he would have given: briefly, I have purfued her, as love hath purfued me, which hath been on the wing on all occafions. But whatsoever I have merited, either in my mind, or in my means; meed, I am fure, I have received none; unless experience be a jewel; that I have purchas'd at an infinite rate, and that hath taught me to say this; "Love like a fhadow flies, when fubftance love purfues; "Pursuing that that flies, and flying what purfues." Fal. Fal. Have you receiv'd no promife of fatisfaction at her hands? Ford. Never. Fal. Have you importun'd her to fuch a purpose ? Fal. Of what quality was your love then? Ford. Like a fair house, built on another man's ground; fo that I have loft my edifice, by mistaking the place where I erected it. Fal. To what purpose have you unfolded this to me? Ford. When I have told you that, I have told you all. Some fay, that tho' fhe appear honeft to me, yet in other places fhe enlargeth her mirth fo far, that there is fhrewd conftruction made of her. Now, Sir John, here is the heart of my purpose: You are a gentleman of excellent breeding, admirable difcourfe, of great admittance, authentick in your place and perfon, generally allow'd for your many war-like, court-like, and learned preparations. Fal. O Sir! Ford. Believe it, for you know it; there is money, fpend it, fpend it; fpend more, fpend all I have, only give me fo much of your time in exchange of it, as to lay an amiable fiege to the honefty of this Ford's wife; ufe your art of wooing, win her to confent to you; if any man may, you may as foon as any. Fal. Would it apply well to the vehemence of your affection, that I fhould win what you would enjoy? methinks, you prefcribe to yourself very prepofterously. Ford. O, understand my drift; fhe dwells fo fecurely on the excellency of her honour, that the folly of my foul dares not prefent itself; fhe is too bright to be look'd against. Now, could I come to her with any detection in my hand, my defires had inftance and argument to commend themselves; I could drive her then from the ward of her purity, her reputation, her marriage-vow, and a thousand other her defences, which now are too too, ftrongly embattel'd against me. What fay you to't, Sir John? Fal Fal. Mafter Brook, I will firft make bold with your money; next, give me your hand; and last, as I am gentleman, you fhall, if you will, enjoy Ford's wife. Ford. O good, Sir! Fal. Mafter Brook, I fay, you shall. her Ford. Want no money, Sir John, you fhall want none. Fal. Want no miftrefs Ford, mafter Brook, you shall want none; I fhall be with her, I may tell you, by her own appointment. Even as you came into me, affiftant, or go-between, parted from me; I fay, I fhall be with her between ten and eleven; for at that time the jealous rafcally knave, her husband, will be forth; come you to me at night, you shall know how I speed. Ford. I am bleft in your acquaintance: do you know Ford, Sir? Fal. Hang him, poor cuckoldly knave, I know him. not; yet I wrong him, to call him poor; they say, the jealous wittolly knave hath maffes of money, for the which his wife feems to me well-favour'd. I will ufe her as the key of the cuckoldly-rogue's coffer; and there's my harvest-home. Ford. I would you knew Ford, Sir, that you might avoid him, if you saw him. Fal. Hang him, mechanical-falt-butter-rogue; I will ftare him out of his wits; I will awe him with my cudgel; it fhall hang like a meteor o'er the cuckold's horns. Mafter Brook, thou fhalt know, I will predominate over the peafant; and thou fhalt lie with his wife: Come to me foon at night; Ford's a knave, and I will aggravate his ftile: thou, mafter Brook, shalt know him for knave and cuckold: come to me foon at night. [Exit. Ford. What a damn'd Epicurean rascal is this! my heart is ready to crack with impatience. Who fays, this is improvident jealoufy? my wife hath fent to him, the hour is fixt, the match is made; would any man have thought this? fee the hell of having a falfe woman! my bed shall be abus'd, my coffers ransack'd, my reputation gnawn at; and I shall not only receive this villainous wrong, but stand under the adoption of abominable terms, and by him that does me the wrong. Terms, names; Amaimon founds well, Lucifer, well; Barbafon, well; yet they are devils additions, the names of fiends: but cuckold, wittol, cuckold! the devil himself hath not fuch a name. Page is an afs, a fecure afs, he will truft his wife; he will not be jealous: I will rather truft a Fleming with my butter, parfon Hugh the Welchman with my cheese, an Irishman with my aquavite bottle, or a thief to walk my ambling gelding, than my wife with herfelf: then the plots, then fhe ruminates, then she devises: and what they think in their hearts they may effect, they will break their hearts but they will effect. Heav'n be prais'd for my jealoufy! Eleven o'clock the hour; I will prevent this, detect my wife, be reveng'd on Falstaff, and laugh at Page: I will about it: better three hours too foon, than a minute too late. Fy, fy, fy; cuckold, cuckold,' cuckold! [Exit. Caius. SCENE changes to Windfor-Park. JACK Enter Caius and Rugby. ACK Rugby! Caius. Vat is de clock, Jack? Rug. 'Tis paft the hour, Sir, that Sir Hugh promis'd to meet. Caius. By gar, he has fave his foul, dat he is no come; he has pray his pible well, dat he is no come: by gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he be come. Rug. He is wife, Sir; he knew, your worship would kill him, if he came. Caius. By gar, de herring is not fo dead as me vill make him. Take your rapier, Jack; I vill tell you how I vill kill him. Rug. Alas, Sir, I cannot fence. Caius. Villainy, take your rapier. Enter |