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And Mammon made acquainted! They'll tell all.
How shall I beat them off? What shall I do?
Nothing's more wretched than a guilty conscience.

Enter SURLY and MAMMON.

Sur. No, sir, he was a great physician. This, It was no bawdy-house, but a mere chancel. You knew the lord and his sister.

Mam. Nay, good Surly

Sur. The happy word, Be rich-
Mam. Play not the tyrant.

Sur. Should be to-day pronounc'd to all your friends. And where be your andirons now, and your brasspots, That should ha' been golden flaggons, and great wedges? Mam. Let me but breathe. What! they ha' shut their doors,

Methinks.

Sur. Ay, now, 'tis holy-day with them.
Mam. Rogues,

Cozeners, impostors, bawds!

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Face. What mean you, sir? [Mam. and Surly knock.

Mam. To enter, if we can.

Face. Another man's house!

Here is the owner, sir; turn to him,

And speak your business.

Mam. Are you, sir, the owner?

Love. Yes, sir.

Mam. And are those knaves within your cheaters ?

Love, What knaves, what cheaters :

Mam. Subtle, and his Lungs.

Face. The gentleman is distracted, sir. No lungs Nor lights ha' been seen here these three weeks, sir; Within these doors, upon my word.

Sur. Your word!

Groom arrogant.

Face. Yes, sir; I am the housekeeper,

And know the keys ha' not been out o' my hands. 160 Sur. This's a new Face.

Face. You do mistake the house, sir.

What sign was't at ?

Sur. You rascal! This is one

O' the confederacy. Come, let's get officers,
And force the door.

Love. Pray you, stay, gentlemen.

Sur. No, sir, we'll come with warrant.

Mam. Ay, and then

We shall ha' your doors open. [Exeunt Sur. and Mam.

Love. What means this?

Face. I cannot tell, sir.

1 Nei. These are two o' the gallants,

That we do think we saw.

Face. Two of the fools!

You talk as idly as they. Good faith, sir,

I think the moon hath craz'd them all!-Oh, me,
The angry boy come too! He'll make a noise,
And ne'er away till he have betray'd us all. [Aside.

Enter KASTRIL.

Kas. What rogues, bawds, slaves! you'll open the [Kastril knocks.

door anon.

Punk, cockatrice, my suster. By this light
I'll fetch the marshal to you. You are a whore,
To keep your castle.-

Face. Who would you speak with, sir?

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Kas. The bawdy doctor, and the cozening captain, And puss, my suster.

Love. This is something, sure!

Face. Upon my trust, the doors were never open, sir. Kas. I have heard all their tricks told me twice over, By the fat knight, and the lean gentleman.

Love. Here comes another.

Face. Ananias too!

And his pastor!

Enter ANANIAS and TRIBULATION.

[Aside.

Ana. Come forth, you seed of sulphur, sons of fire; Your stench is broke forth: abomination

Is in the house.

Kas. Ay, my suster's there.

Ana. The place

Is become a cage of unclean birds.

Kas. Yes I will fetch the scavenger and the constable. Trib. You shall do well.

Ana. We'll join to weed them out.

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Kas. You will not come then, punk device, my suster? Ana. Call her not sister. She's a harlot, verily.

Kas. I'll raise the street.

Love. Good gentlemen, a word

Ana. Satan, avoid, and hinder not our zeal.

Love. The world's turn'd Bedlam.

Face. These are all broke loose

Out of St. Kath'rine's, where they use to keep

The better sort of mad folks.

1 Nei. All these persons We saw go in and out here. 2 Nei. Yes, indeed, sir.

3 Nei. These were the parties.

Face. Peace, you drunkards. Sir,

I wonder at it! Please you to give me leave

To touch the door : I'll try an the lock be chang'd.

Love. It 'mazes me !

Face. Good faith, sir, I believe

There's no such thing. 'Tis all deceptio visus.

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Would I could get him away! [Dapper cries out within. Dap. Master captain, master doctor.

Love. Who's that?

Face. Our clerk within, that I forgot! [Aside.] I know not, sir.

Dap. For God's sake, when will her grace be at leisure? Face. Ha!

[blocks in formation]

Dap Mine aunt's grace does not use me well.

Sub. You fool,

Peace, you'll mar all.

Face. Or you will else, you rogue.

Love. Oh, is it so? Then you converse with spirits. Come, sir, no more o' your tricks, good Jeremy; 341

The truth's the shortest way.

Face. Dismiss this rabble, sir.

What shall I do? I am catch'd.

Love. Good neighbours,

I thank you all.

You may depart. Come, sir, You know that I am an indulgent master;

[Aside.

And therefore conceal nothing. What's your medicine,
To draw so many several sorts of wild-fowl ?

Face. Sir, you were wont to affect mirth and wit:
(But here's no place to talk on't i' the street.)
Give me but leave to make the best of my fortune,
And only pardon me th' abuse of your house;
Its all I beg. I'll help you to a widow,

In recompence, that you shall give me thanks for, Will make you seven years younger, and a rich one. 'Tis but your putting on a Spanish cloak.

I have her within. You need not fear the house;
It was not visited.

Love. But by me, who came

Sooner than you expected.

Face. It is true, sir.

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Pray you, forgive me.

Love. Let's see your widow.

[Exeunt.

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