The BEAUTIES of all the MAGAZINES

SELECTED,

SEPTEMBER, 1763. XXXXXXXXXXXXXX:XXXXXXXXXXXX:X: The COMIC CHRONICLE of the TIMES, Continued.

MOB, and to our most good and gracious did they tell fibs about us.

We are his fubjects, his loyal fubjects, but to HIM, and His only, will we fubject ourselves.

Who then fhall come from north, east, or welt, to controul us? None, furely. Has not heaven bleffed us with the king of our hopes, is he not also an English

man?

Therefore bonnetted will we bear ourselves to the reft of the world; it is the cap of Liberty which we wear, and what we will not put off, on any pretenfions.

Now in those days a ruler was elected in the city; yea, a gentleman who filed his poft with grandeur, equal to the dignity with which he was vefted.

Now it happened, that his predecessor made a great feat, to which were invited many great people.

And their majesties, God bless them, were there. And the cloth was laid in high tafte, and that day eating and drinking became an elegant exercise.

Yet in an unpropitious hour was a refolution taken, but his lordship declared he would be there ALSO.

Now, thus faith the fon of Efdras the fcribe, the interpreter of words feemingly fynonymous.

Verily, verily, I fay unto you-Alfo and Likewife have various meanings; although indifcriminately are they ufed by the illiterate multitude.

His lordship went there Alfo; that is the correct reading of the text; his lordship went there Likerwife, an interpolation; because Likewife betokeneth good fenfe; and had his honour been governed by fuch a planet that day, inftinet would have instructed him, not to have paraded in the proceffion.

The troop of Bruifers were ordered to attend; and the whole right-hand and left artillery were drawn to efcort him triumphant.

The By-battle-boys were marshalled in proper order. The brick-kilns were unattended that day; and even the fand-cart-affes were free that day from the whips of their drivers.-All,

all, were ordered to appear,-All but Buckhorfe, the bruifed veteran. Alas! Alas! how are past services neglected— but, perhaps, he was on to'ther fide the question.

Now it came to país, that after these affairs were finished, that coachman Blinkard, the Bruifer, commenced placeman-because of the many jobbs he had gone through with; and he also receiv ed a premium for the rest of his brethren, but forgot to fhare the fecret-servicemoney.

And he was put into the court of Confcience for the money, because the Beargarden fellows, not having any confcience of their own, it is proper they fhould be carried to thofe places where other people may find it for them.

In that court it was that the jobbing bill was produced, viz.

Now it came to pass, that in those days uproar began to get the upperhand of tranquility, and it grew taste for mankind to put themselves in a paffion.

Even as the dog that quarrelled with his own tail, fo did fnarling seize the hot-headed fons of these kingdoms.

And the Dublin boys began the bother, even before his excellency the late lord lieutenant left the nation; and Sive Ulfter's fons took it up, and began to level all places.

Thus, in London, clamour called the committee of confufion togetherHalf-price drew up his forces, and they levelled the feats, benches and branches of the theatre.

Now these are the names of those fons of riots; and here follows the generation of their families.

[To be continued.]

Hiftory

you of, before, for my trouble, and

XXXXXXX(5858):525858 my fwearing.

Hiftory of the Reforming Conftable,

I

Continued.

was born at Nottingham, my father and mother being upon a march to join the regiment, my mother fell in labour there, and died in child-bed. So the parish officers were obliged to take care of me, until they could let me out, to those dealers, who hire infants, and go about the country to beg with them.

I was foon taken notice of to be a boy of parts; fo a tinker and a chimney-sweeper played a rubbers at Put, who should take me 'prentice, and the

tinker won.

I then got acquainted with fome folks, that used to go upon the forrest and kill venifon.

But one day we were all taken up, and put into prifon, for being deerftealers; but I being fo very young, nothing was done to me, and the goaler made me tapfter boy, and there fome gentlemen, who were under fentence of transportation, taught me to read and write.

Then I hired myself to an inn, as a helper to the book-keeper; but there being a little parcel loft, with two guineas in it, and my mafter being a fuf picious man, rather than have any words with him, I went away. Then I was a waiter at Scarborough, and I am fure, let people fay what they will against gamefters, gamblers, or family-men, they were the best customers he ever had. They used to come down every feafon, and I lived at the tavern which had the most and best company used it; and thefe gentlemen of the family would leave with me fo many new packs of ftamped cards, and so many new stamped dice, fo that I never had the trouble of going out to buy any. But when any

of the guests would order me to go out to buy cards, or dice, I would go to my room, and get them; but I would fwear I had been out, and bought them myself at the hops; however, I got well paid by the gentlemen I told

I was taught how to be a family-man myself at last; indeed, I learnt fome of it with my tinker mafter, fo I came to London, but there I was taken up for a pick-pocket, because I found a pocketbook at the playhoufe door-I laid in goal three months, but my friends took care nobody should hurt me, because, you must fuppofe, I was innocent.

When I came out of confinement, my friends were all in the country'; fo I was half naked, and I went begging to the tabernacle, and there I learned to fay my prayers, and fing hymns ; and the faints took notice of me, and clothed me, and made me one of them.

Then I let my hair grow long, and parted it on the top, and tucked it behind my ears, and I was fwore to secrefy, and then was introduced to their love feafts-and there they fet up all night,-and there at midnight, all the lights were put out, to represent the darkness before things were created; and then every body pulls off their cloths, to reprefent the state of innocence we are born in; and then we falute one another promifcuously, to prevent jealoufy; and to fhew that the faints live in brother and fifterly love with one another, and as Adam and Eve had every thing in common among one ano

ther.

Then I was fent down to a private houfe of worship in Norfolk; and there I preached fo, concerning damnation, that I made all my hearers cry, groan and grieve about it; and I talked about hell and the devil, and roaring fires fo dreadfully, that I used to put my congregation in fuch a heat, that I had like to have frightened them all into fevers.

They used to give me money that I fhould not threaten them fo with damnation; fo I left off that fubject fome time-but could not find any other out that answered fo well-but as I was going to my old flory again, a wicked woman took me before the mayor, and fwore I would ravish her: now the had D dd 2

given

given me encouragement, and feemed at firft as willing as I.-But rather than be exposed, I consented to go for a foldier.

When I was just come into the army, I had like to have been hanged; because, as we were marching in an enemy's country, I thought all I could lay my hands on was fair plunder-only I had an officer who stood my friend. For you must know a very pretty wench, or mawther, as they call them in Norfolk, went abroad with me, who I had a child by while I was a methodist preacher; and as the had some money, and her aunt had fome good things which the niece could get at ; and as it would have been a great fhame for her to have been brought to bed at home of a baftard child, I perfuaded her to pack up every thing she could and follow me, and I ftrengthened her confcience with the interpretation of fome texts that I chofe for my purpose; for I had learned how to do that at the tabernacle. For you must know every piece of fcripture has two meanings; one is the real meaning, which the apostles defigned it should fignify; the other meaning is, that interpretation which every expounder pleafes to put upon it, and which will best serve his own purpose. Therefore there is nothing like the fhow of holinefs for a perfon to get his own purposes ferved.

Your people of true fenfe fay, that pure religion is of the greateft fimplicity, and that the poorest people may understand it, and that it requires no great explanation.-But that is not the religion I liked it is proper poor people fhould be confufed, and kept in awe fomehow; and therefore we took care, while I was a preacher, to perplex and hamper their minds pretty much ; and to hamper the poor is the proper bufinefs of us Reformers, as you will know. bye-and-bye.

Well, I told you I gave up my girl to the captain-I don't mean that I paited from her entirely; no, but the captain ufed to come and fee her very often, fo then I used to go to the futlers, er fome fuch place, and stay there

juft as a great many people do now in London, that when their wives have fome particular vifitors, go out of town for a day or two, or fometimes let their wives go out of town for a day or two; and these husbands, feveral keep good fhops in the city, and feveral live very genteely in and about St. James's, and are looked upon vaftlywell in their neigh. bourhood; and indeed, as this England is a place of vaft commerce, why should not wives, daughters, fifters or nieces be transferrable for fome time, as well as other ftocks are bought and fold for time.

My officer was killed, the war was ended, and over came I and my girl; we had faved something, and took a public-houfe ; and then I began to think about going to the tabernacle again. I fent my wife first, and a rare wench she was at it. She did her part as well as if he had been bred and born an actrefs; the fighed and groaned, and cried and turned up her eyes, and the faints were fmitten with her, and they came to fee me, and I kept a room for them on purpose, and only she waited upon them, and I was chose constable of the parish, and by the faints recommendation I was made Reforming Conftable. But there was a fine dreffed gentleman ufed my house, and he feemed sweet upon my wench; now, as he was not one of us, I was refolved he fhould pay four fauce.

So the faints and I confulted, and I lawfully married the girl; then, caught him, as it was agreed on between her and I; fued him for criminal converfation; fhut up my house to make my loss the greater, and recovered fwinging damages.

I fell liquors now, but I don't take a licence, 'cause only my tabernacle friends vifit me, and I don't want either to make their doings or my own public.

I defired this officer to tell me, how. he came first of all to fancy he could make a Reformer?

He replied, don't you know, my dear, an old fmuggler makes the belt cultom-house officer. But my fche:ne,

when