By the Way IGN over a rooming-house door-bell in Pennsylvania Dutch city: "Bump. The bell don't make." An examination of the classified advertisements under the heading "Swaps" in a New York daily gives a side-light on present-day aspirations. More than half of the advertisements propose to exchange something of value for a motor car. example: For "Piano, excellent condition, for light car." Or this: "Equity in lot on Dewey Ave.; for 1925 sedan." Or even this: "Double house, all improvements; take auto and little cash." Next in popularity come radio outfits; but it is noted with pleasure that some one wants to get rid of a saxophone for anything it will bring. From the "Progressive Grocer:" A patient who was convalescing from a long siege of pneumonia had asked repeatedly for food, and finally the nurse gave him a small spoonful of rice. A few minutes later the patient rang again, and when the nurse appeared said to her: "Now I want to read a little. Please bring me a postage stamp." "A cynic," according to the "Brown Jug," "is a humorist with the misfortune to be born with a smile a trifle to one side." Ear-plugs are now being sold by New York City druggists. They are designed to frustrate noise, and are used by those who cannot sleep for the roar of the city's noises. "And your name, please?" "Ivan Ausziechmmugencugteki." "How do you spell it?" "As it is pronounced." From the "Epworth Herald:" Mother: "Gladys, you are two years old to-day." Gladys: "I know it, ma. Gee, but I like to look back and think of the funny styles we girls used to wear." The following business card, according to a Western newspaper, was distributed by an enterprising young business man: MR. GERAD ALLEN, JR. Personal Escorter Tots and Kiddies took to school and returned prompt in perfect condishion if received that way. Military discipline. Rates 25c a weak. Speshiol rates to twins. Refined conversashion. No extra charge for nose wipin. All I ast is a trial. Autoist: "I had the right of way when this man deliberately ran into me, and yet you say I was to blame." Policeman: "You certainly were." Policeman: "Because his father is mayor, his brother is chief of police, and I go with his sister." From "Tit-Bits:" He emerged from the dining-room of the fashionable hotel and went to the cloakroom, where he nonchalantly proceeded to crush one silk top-bat after the other. The attendant, surprised at this behavior, demanded the reason for his action, whereupon the other replied: "I'm looking for my own. It's a collapsible, you know. None of these here seem to be it." A tabby cat in a Vancouver, British Columbia, zoo is serving as foster-mother to three young wolves, and the El Paso "Times" remarks, "Modern parents understand the feeling." "Collars, neckties and socks-yes, sir! How about some night-shirts?" "No, sir, young fella. I ain't no society rounder. When night comes I go to bed." From the "Fliegende Blaetter" (Munich): He: "Who is that handsome boy with the cropped head?" She: "That's my cousin, Betty." "And the blond man with the monocle ?" "That's my younger sister, Lu." Laughing, but embarrassed: "So I suppose the other young man in the dinner jacket is your elder sister?" "No, that's my grandmother." "Where I go on my vacation they give you one of those three-season beds." "What are they?" "No spring!" From "Judge:" Teacher: "Why was Columbus so anxious to discover a new world?" Bobby: "I think he was looking for a place to park." From "Liberty:" Johnny had been the guest of honor the day before at a party to which his little chum Tommy had not been invited. After hearing all about it, Tommy said to Johnny: "Have a good time, Johnny?" "Did I!" answered Johnny. "Why, I'm not hungry yet!" From the Cincinnati "Enquirer:" "I see you have a sign in your store, 'We Aim To Please,'" remarked the irritated customer. "Certainly," replied the proprietor, "that is our motto." "Well," retorted the I. C., "you ought to take a little time off for target practice." From "Everybody's Magazine:" A new regulation in a certain coal mine required that each man mark with chalk the number of every car of coal mined. One man named Rudolph, having filled the eleventh car, marked it as No. 1 and, after pondering a while, let it go at that. Another miner, happening to notice what he thought was a mistake, called Rudolph's attention to the fact that he had marked the car No. 1 instead of No. 11. "Yes, I know," said Rudolph. "But I can't think which side de odder wan go on." From the Boston "Transcript:" Motor Cop (to professor of mathematics): "So you saw the accident, sir. What was the number of the car that knocked this man down?" Professor: "I'm afraid I've forgotten it. But I remember noticing that if it were multiplied by fifty, the cube root of the product would be equal to the sum of the digits reversed." The answer to each line of the following jingle is a word of six letters. Six different words, but all composed of the same six letters. Answer next week. You will find one in every jail, You can do it by means of a pail, ROUND MOUNTAIN, MAINE A Real Forest Retreat located in Northwestern Maine (between DION O. BLACKWELL. Massachusetts CAMP MORSE Berkshires FOR ADULTS Dr. Reeves' Nervine private licensed institution for the care and treatment of ner- New York HURRICANE LODGE and Cottages IN THE ADIRONDACKS Hurricane, Essex Co., N. Y. Comfortable, homelike. Altitude 1,800 feet. Extensive verandas overlooking Keene Valley. Trout fishing. Camp ing. Swimming pool, Golf links: mile course 9 well-kept greens. Tennis and croquet. Fresh vegetables. Fine dairy. Furnished cottages, all improvements. Separate suites and single rooms. Open from June 15 to Oct. 1. For further information address K.Belknap,Mgr., Hurricane Lodge, Hurricane, Essex Co.,N.Y. Tours and Travel THE HE beauty, fascination, and mystery of the Orient lures visitors from all over the world to JAPAN The quaintest and most interesting of all JAPANESE GOVERNMENT RAILWAYS for full information Rates for a single room without bath and with 3 meals, "The Mohawk" $5-6 in cities and popular resorts, $4-5 in the country AND COTTAGES An Adirondack hotel offering modern accommodations for 125. Wide range of amusements bathing, boating, dancing, all water and mountain sports, 2 tennis courts, orchestra, excellent table, best service, saddle horses. Running water in each room, many with private baths. C. O. LONGSTAFF, Old Forge, N. Y. Harriet E. Reeves, M.D., Melrose Highlands, Mass. ADIRONDACKS, The CRATER New Hampshire THE BIRD VILLAGE INN Located at Meriden, N. H., among southern foothills of the White Mts.. 15 miles from Dartmouth College; 8 miles from Cornish, former summer home of the White House. Those desiring quiet, restful vacation at reasonable cost will find The Bird Village of irresistible charm. Open July and August. Rates $22-$24. RAYMOND E. CLAFLIN, Mgr. New York City HOTEL BRISTOL 129-135 W. 48th St., N.Y. ROOMS WITH BATH Special Blue Plate Service in Grill Room For comfort, for convenience to all parts of the metropolis, for its famous dining service come to Hotel Bristol. You'll feel at home." Hotel Judson 53 Washington Sq.. New York City Residential hotel of highest type, combining the facilities of hotel life with the comforts of an ideal home. American plan $4 per day and up. European plan $1.50 per day and up. SAMUEL NAYLOR, Manager. New York "Roads End" On Lake AND CLUB, Essex-on-Lake-Champlain. Cottages with central club house where meals are served. References required. For circular or information address JOHN B. BURNHAM, 233 Broadway, New York City. EUROPE 1927 SERVICE Standard Tours $775 Cabin Class Steamers AND UP STRATFORD TOURS 452 Fifth Ave., New York TEMPLE TOURS GO TROUT VALLEY FARM To Europe, Egypt, Palestine, Around BEAVERKILL, NEW YORK Homelike. Capacity, fifty. Nine-hole golf course, trout fishing in famous Beaverkill. Beautiful mountain lake. Fresh vegetables, fine dairy. Annex cottages. Reasonable rates. Reference requested. Christian management. Write for information. Frederic W, Banks, Proprietor the World. Comfortable travel, mod- Where do you want to go? TEMPLE TOURS 447-A Park Square Bldg., Boston, Mass. SUMMER TOUR OF EUROPE Fascinating itinerary, moderate price, limited party under leadership of a successful conductor who knows Europe and understands human nature. Around the World Tour, mainly by land. Not a cruise. Starting October. Led by same conductor. See literature. Write Bullitt Tours, 1308 Mallers Bldg., Chicago, Ill. or The Outlook Travel Bureau Study French Abroad Two months travel-July & August." See Montpellier and 9 other cities. $400 Travel, living, and tuition included., MAJOR W. T. BLAKE, LTD. Great Britain and Continental automobile service. Cars to drive yourself, inclusive tours, and hire of car with chauffeur only Steamship accommodations. For booklets and details write to 578 Madison Ave., New York. Saddle horses for each EUROPE ON CREDIT Ring it or luxury, as you prefer. Rough guest. Interbrook Lodge COTTAGES FRED J. RICHARD RANCH Wyoming KEENE VALLEY, N. Y. Located on hill in spruces and pines, 500 ft. above village on trail to Mt. Marcy. Best moderate-priced hotel in mountains. 400-acre farm in connection. Certified Jersey herd. 1,500 ft. elevation. $18 per week and up. Illustrated booklet on application. B.Tryon & Son. Cody, By "Famous Allen Plan" Small EUROPE, WITH Horseback tours through Yellowstone. Trout READFIELD, ME. ON LAKE MARANA COOK, Country home, 10 rooms, wonderful view, $300. Bungalow, large living-room, fireplace, $200. Prices include wood, ice, boat, canoe, tennis, golf 8 miles, fishing, tiled spring. Photos. JAS. E. HARVEY, 27 Court St., Augusta, Me. SOUTH WEST HARBOR, Me. Cottage for rent, $400 for summer; fully furnished; has four bedrooms, two bathrooms, living-room with open fireplace, dining-room, kitchen, and laundry. Near two hotels. Mrs. GEORGE M. LAMB, 229 W. Nippon St., Germantown, Phila., Pa. Vermont Lake St. Catharine, Wells, Vt. Large cottage, in excellent condition, for rent as a summer camp. Completely furnished, ready for occupancy. If interested, write to W. L. CARPENTER, 423 Elm St., Montpelier, Vt. Board-Rooms For Rent Desirable furnished suites with bath, large, cool rooms with running water. Delightfully located; beautiful grounds; moderate rental; attractive table; garage. References required. Monday Afternoon Club, 1000 Central Ave., Plainfield, N. J. Property Wanted Wanted - - In the Country Property for a Boys' School 7,575, Outlook BUSINESS women! Make and market account. New proposition. 7,721, Outlook. WANTED-Ladies and gentlemen to sell small,charming, high-grade perfume novelty. Commission basis. Give experience, references. 7,720, Outlook. HOW TO ENTERTAIN PLAYS, musical comedies and revues, minstrel music, blackface skits, vaudeville acts, monologs, dialogs, recitations, entertainments, musical readings, stage handbooks, make-up goods. Big catalog_free. T. S. Denison & Co., 623 S. Wabash, Dept. 74, Chicago. EMPLOYMENT AGENCY INSTITUTIONAL executives, social workers, secretaries, dietitians, cafeteria inanagers, governesses, companions, mothers' helpers, housekeepers. The Richards Bureau, 68 Barnes St., Providence. TEACHERS, graduates, experienced, register now for September vacancies. Associated Teachers Agency, 522 Fifth Ave., N. Y. City. HELP WANTED AGENTS, if you want to give your cus tomers the best house dress values in the country and make real money, write B & G Mfg. Co., Dept. 182, Pittsburgh, Pa. HOTELS NEED TRAINED MEN AND WOMEN. Nation-wide demand for highsalaried men and women. Past experience unnecessary. We train you by mail and put you in touch with big opportunities. Big pay, fine living, permanent, interesting work, quick advancement. Write for free book, YOUR BIG OPPORTUNITY." Lewis Hotel Training Schools, Suite AF-5842, Washington, D. C. Have You Tried Them? Outlook's Classified columns bring rare results. Test them out, and you will use them again and again. A recent letter says: "Because I saw it in The Outlook Classified Section, I have more faith in it." Write for rates and details. CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING SECTION The Outlook, 120 East 16th Street, New York City SITUATIONS WANTED AMERICAN woman with institutional experience desires position as seamstress in in7.742, stitution where capability counts. Outlook. COLLEGE and art school graduate wishes summer traveling position. 7,722, Outlook. COLLEGE-bred, domestic science trained. young American, experienced in household management and child training, desires position gentleman's home. 7,741, Outlook. COLLEGE Woman with five years' experience research work, including mental testing, desires new connection with opportunity for advancement. Business opening considered. Excellent references. 7,735, Outlook. COMPANION-nurse or chaperon by cheerful, refined, middle-age lady. Free to travel, and very capable. Philadelphia, Pa. 7,728, Outlook. COMPANION, secretarial. College student and business graduate. References. 7,713, Outlook. COMPETENT woman, experienced in institutional work with boys, wishes position as matron, supervisor, seamstress. 7,743, Outlook. CULTURED French young woman, graduate Sorbonne and American college, for summer as companion, secretary, research, tutor. Will travel. West preferred. 7,731, Outlook. CULTURED young woman desires position as traveling companion for summer. Agreeable, traveled, good reader, interesting. 7,729, Outlook. DIETITIAN-housekeeper to take entire charge of menus and buying, etc. Experienced. References. 7,727, Outlook. EDUCATED, experienced, traveled woman desires position as managing housekeeper or hostess. Executive ability, tactful. Would travel. Best references. 7,709, Outlook. GENTLEWOMAN wants position as prac tical companion. Traveling or residential. 7,710, Outlook. GOVERNESS 'or companion, age 30. Can teach French and German, also needlework. Free to travel. References exchanged. 7,723. Outlook. HARVARD graduate student, Phi Beta Kappa, desires summer position, tutor, companion, or secretary. Experienced. Speaks French. References exchanged. 7,726, Outlook. HOUSE manager, experienced, desires position in gentleman's home; where there are children preferred; go anywhere; would accept position in school. 7,733, Outlook. 1 want an occupation from June 20 to Sept. 3. Am attending high school, height 6 it.. weight 170 lbs., 16th year, athletic, good swimmer, tennis, trained scout, understand cars, references A-1. 7,725, Outlook. LADY teacher, available May 18, desires summer occupation. Experienced traveler. riding councilor, hostess, executive, chaperon. 7,732, Outlook. OHIO teacher desires summer position along sea or in mountains. Companion. mother's helper, housework, sewing, French. Experience. 7,740, Outlook. REFINED American widow with daughter fifteen desires position as housekeeper in gentleman's home. Good cook and housekeeper. Fine references. 7,737, Outlook. SUMMER position as governess or tutor desired by college girl. References. Alice Mills, 8 Johnson Ave., Binghamton, N. Y. TEACHER seeks summer position as conpanion or governess. Would travel. 7,633, Outlook. TRAVELING companion for July and August. West preferred. Drive any car or be ladies' maid. Bertha Ney, Washington, Conn. TWO young women, refined, educated, as companion, secretary, or governess; secre tarial experience, also experience with chil dren; would accompany person going to Europe this summer. Have traveled extensively. 7,689, Outlook. WANTED, by refined, experienced young Southern woman, position to manage tea room or shop for summer. Address M. C. B., Millway Plantation, Boykin, S. C. YOUNG woman, college graduate, inex perienced, desires position teaching history in New York State or Florida. 7,739, Outlook YOUNG woman, college graduate, wishes summer position as tutor, governess, or sec retary. Teaching experience. 7,716, Outlook. YOUNG woman, English teacher in large high school, desires summer position as companion or tutor. 7,734, Outlook. STATIONERY WRITE for free samples of embossed at $2 or printed stationery at $1.50 per box. Thou sands of Outlook customers. Lewis, stationer, Troy, N. Y. MISCELLANEOUS TO young women desiring training in the care of obstetrical patients a six months' nurses' aid course is offered by the Lying-In Hospital, 307 Secoud Ave., New York. Aida are provided with maintenance and given a monthly allowance of $10. For further par ticulars address Directress of Nurses. MINISTER'S family, 30 miles from Colum bus, Ohio, will care for one or two children for several weeks this summer. 7,719, Outlook. Wheeler and Stayton M. Briand's Suggestion to Outlaw War By SYDNEY T. FRISSELL Italy: A Nation at War By EDWARD CORSI What Makes Japan Laugh? . By ADACHI KINNOSUKE By the Way. Can Wet Be Dry? 38 38 39 39 . 39 Why Break China? 40 Tories and Trade-Unionists at War 40 42 Smoking Out the President 42 Senator Beveridge. By LAWRENCE F. ABBOTT The Pratt Teachers Agency || In next week's issue the Marchioness THE OUTLOOK RECOMMENDS EUROPEAN SCHOOL LA MARJOLAINE 22 Chemin du Velours 22, Geneva Excellent Swiss school for girls, unusually recommended. Resident, day pupils. Individual care of studies and diet. Chaperoned stay in mountains arranged for winter and summer holidays. Booklets, details, Outlook Travel Bureau. BOYS' CAMP A CAMPING HIGH SIERRAS EXPEDITION Twelve boys of high school age are being carefully chosen to form camping expedition into High Sierras of California during July and August. Expedition in charge of Harvard and Cornell (graduate) men. High references given and required. Gentiles. Please address ROGER OLAF EGEBERG, 2500 Lake View Ave., Chicago, Ill. GIRLS' CAMP M. H. L. FUHRMANN, 120 W. 58th St., New York City Volume 146, Number 2. Where New Orleans This reproduction of a United States Geological Survey map of the country surrounding New Orleans shows graphically the menace of floods to the Crescent City. The absence of contour lines, the presence of great areas marked as marshes, doubly indicate the flatness of the terrain. The river flows from left to right. The place where the break in the levee was made at Poydras may |