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SCENE I.--A hall.
Ant. Ask them.
Cha. Well, in the first place, you say you have Enter Antonio and ChariNO.
two sons? Ant. Without compliment, my old friend, I Ant. Exactly. shall think myself much honoured in your al- Cha. And you are willing that one of them liance; our families are both ancient; our chil- shall marry my daughter? dren young, and able to support them; and, Il Ant. Willing. think, the sooner we set them to work the better. Cha. My daughter Angelina ?
Cha. Sir, you offer fair and nobly, and shall Ant, Angelina. find I dare meet you in the same line of honour: Cha. And you are likewise content that the and, I hope, since I have but one girl in the said Angelina shall survey them both, and (with world, you won't think me a troublesome old my allowance) take to her lawful husband which fool, if I endeavour to bestow her to her worth ; of them she pleases? therefore, if you please, before we shake hands, Ant. Content. a word or two by the by; for I have some con Cha. And you farther promise, that the person siderable questions to ask you.
by her (and me) so chosen (be it elder or young
er) shall be your sole heir: that is to say, shall | Cha. Pray, sir, what sort of life may your be in a conditional possession of at least three master lead? parts of your estate. You know the conditions, | San. Life, sir! no prince fares like him; he and this you positively promise ?
breaks his fast with Aristotle, dines with Tully, Ant. To perforin.
drinks tea at Helicon, sups with Seneca, then Che. Why, then, as the last token of my full | walks a turn or two in the inilky way, and after consent and approbation, I give you my hand. six hours conference with the stars, sleeps with Ant. There's mine.
old Erra Pater. Cha. Is't a match?
Cha. Wonderful! Art. A match.
Ant. 0, Carlos will be here presentlyCha. Done.
Here, take the knave in, and let himn eat. Ant. Done.
San. And drink too, sir? Che. And done that's enough- Carlos, Ant. And drink too, sir-and pray see your the elder, you say, is a great scholar, spends his master's chamber ready. [Knocking aguin. whole life in the university, and loves his study. | Well, sir, who's at the gate ?
Ant. Nothing more, sir.
Enter a SERVANT. world, and is very well known in the court of | Ser. Monsieur, sir, from niy young master, France; a sprightly fellow, ha?
Enter Monsieur. with my daughter, I can't tell; she'll be easily | Ant. Well, Monsieur, what says your master? pleased where I am— I have given her some | When will he be here? documents already. Hark! what noise without ?
Mons. Sire, he vill be here in de less time dan Ant. Odso! us they- hey're come von quarter of de hour; he is not quite tirty have expected them these two hours. Well, I mile off. sirrah, who's without?
Ant. And what came you before for?
Mons. Sire, me come to provide de pulville, Enter a SERVANT.
and de essence for his perique, dat he may apSer. 'Tis Sancho, sir, with a waggon-load of my proche to your vorshipe vid de reverence, and de master's books.
belle air. Cha. What, does he always travel with his Ant. What, is he unprovided, then? whole study!
Mons. Sire, he vas enrage, and did break his Art. Never without them, sir; 'tis his humour. bottel d'orangerie, because it vas not de same dat
is prepare for Monseigneur le Dauphin. Enter Sancho, laden with books.
Ant. Well, sir, if you'll go to the butler, he'll
help you to some oil for his periwig. San. Pedro, unload part of the library; bid | Mons. Sire, me tank you.' SE.rit MONSIEUR, the porter open the great gates, and make room
Cha. A very notable spark, this Clodio. Ha! for other dozen of carts; I'll be with you pre- | what noise is that without? sently. Ant. Ha! Sancho! where's my Carlos ?
Enter a SERVANT.
Ser. Sir, my young niasters are both come. ledge, both hands employed, in his book, and his
Ant. That's well! Now, sir, now! now ob bridle, sir: but he has sent his duty before him serve their several dispositions. in this letter, sir. Ant. What have we here, pothooks and and
Enter Carlos. Muns!
Car. My father! sir, your blessing. San. Pothooks! Oh, dear sir!- I beg your Ant. Thou hast it, Carlos; and now, pray, pardon- No, sir, this is Arabic; 'tis to the know this gentleman, Charino, sir, my old friend, lord Abbot, concerning the translation, sir, of and one in whom you may have a particular human bodiesa new way of getting out of interest. the world— There's a terrible wise man has Car. I'll study to deserve his love, sir. written a very smart book of it.
Cha. Sir, as for that matter, you need not Cha. Pray, friend, what will that same book study at all.
[They sulute. teach a man?
Clo. (Within.] Hey! La Valiere! bid the San. Teach you, sir! why, to play a trump groom take care our hunters be well rubbed and upon death, and shew yourself a match for the clothed; they're hot, and have out-stripped the deril.
wind. Cla, Strange!
Cha. Av, marry, sir, there's mettle in this San. Here, sir, this is your letter. (To ANT. young fellow.
Car. I am as well here, sir.
[Reads. Enter Clodio.
Cha. Good for no earthly thing—a stock
Ah, that Clody!
Enter MonsieuR. most obliged, faithful, humble servant. [To Cha. Mons. Sire, here be de several sort of de jes
Cha. Sir- 1-1-1 like you. Eagerly. samine d'orangerie vidout, if you please to make Clo. Thy hand.
your choice. Cha. Faith, thou art a pretty humoured fellow. Clo. Mum, sir, I must beg pardon for a moClo. Who's that? Pray, sir, who's that? ment; a most important business calls me aside, Ant. Your brother, Clody.
which I will dispatch with all imaginable celeriClo. Odso! I beg bis pardon with all my ty, and return to the repetition of my desire to heart--Ha, ha, ha! did ever mortal see such continue, sir, your most obliged, and faithful a book-worm !--Brother, how is't! [Carelessly. I bumble servant. [E.rit Clodio, bouing.
Car. I'm glad you are well, brother. [Reads. Cha. Faith, he's a pretty fellow.
Clo. What, does he draw his book upon me? Ant. Now, sir, if you please, since we have Then I will draw my wit upon him---Gad, I'll got the other alone, we'll put the matter a little puzzle him-Hark you, brother; pray, what's closer to him. Latin for a sword-knot?
Cha. "Tis to little purpose, I'm afraid: but Car. The Romans wore none, brother.
use your pleasure, sir. Clo. No ornament upon their swords, sir? Car. Plato differs from Socrates in this. Car. Oh, yes, several; conquest, peace, and
(To himself. honour-an old unfashionable wear.
Ant. Come, come, prithee, Charles, lay them Clo. Sir, no man in France (I may as well say by, let them agree at leisure What, no hour breathing; for not to live there, is not to breathe) of interruption ? wears a more fashionable sword than I do; hé Car. Man's life, sir, being so short, and then cost me fifteen louis d'ors in Paris - There, sir, the way that leads us to the knowledge of our- - feel him- try him, sir.
selves, so hard and tedious, each minute should Car. I have no skill, sir.
be precious. Clo. No skill, sir! why, this sword would Ant. Aye, but to thrive in this world, Charles, make a coward fight--aha! sa, sa! ha! rip you must part a little with this bookish contemha! there I had him.
(Fencing. I plation, and prepare yourself for action. If you Car. Take heed; you'll cut my clothes, brother. I will study, let it be to know what part of my
Clo. Cut 'em ! ha, ha!-- no, no, they are cut | land's fit for the plough; what for pasture; to already, brother, to the grammar rules exactly : buy and sell my stock to the best advantage; and psba! prithee, man, leave off this college-air. cure my cattle when they are overgrown with la
Car. No, brother, I think it wholesome, the bour. This, now, would turn to some account. soil and situation pleasant.
Car. This, sir, may be done from what I've Clo. A put, by Jupiter! he don't know the read; for, what concerns tillage, who can better air of a gentleman, from the air of the country deliver it than Virgil in his Georgics? And, for -Sir, I mean the air of your clothes; I would the cure of herds, his Bucolics are a masterhave you change your tailor, and dress a little piece; but when his art describes the commonmore en cavalier: lay by your book, and take wealth of bees, their industry, their more than out your snuff-box; cock, and look smart, ha! human knowledge of the herbs from which they Cha. Faith, a pretty fellow. .
gather honey ; their laws, their government Car. I read no use in this, brother; and for among themselves, their order in going forth, my clothes, the half of what I wear already and coming laden home, their strict obedience to seems to me superfluous. What need I outward their king, his just rewards to such as labour, his ornaments, when I can deck myself with under- punishment, inflicted only on the slothful drone; standing? Why should we care for any thing but I'm ravished with it: then reap, indeed, my harknowledge? Or look upon the follies of mankind, vest, receive the grain my cattle bring me, and but to condemn or pity those that seek them? there find wax and honey.
[Reads again. Ant. Hey day! Georges, and Blue-sticks, and Clo. Stark mad, split me!
bees-wax! What, art thou mad? Cha. Psha! this fellow will never domhe Cha. Raving, raving ! has no soul in him.
Car. No, sir, the knowledge of this guards me Clo. Hark you, brother, what do you think of from it. a pretty, plump wench now?
Ant. But can you find, amongst all your musty Car. I seldom think that way; women are manuscripts, what pleasure he enjoys, that lies in books I have not read yet.
the arms of a young, rich, well-shaped, healthy Clo. Gad, I could set you a sweet lesson, bro- bride ? Answer me that, ha, sir ! ther,
Car. 'Tis frequent, sir, in story; there I read
of all kinds of virtuous, and of vicious women ; |
Ant. In the mean time, sir, if you please to the ancient Spartan dames, the Roman ladies, send your daughter notice of our intended visit. their beauties, their deformities; and when I
[ To CHARINO. light upon a Portia, or a Cornelia, crowned with Cha. I'll do it-hark you, friendever-blooming truth and virtue, with such a feel
[Whispers a sertant, ing I peruse their fortunes, as if I then had lived, and tasted of their lawful, envied love. But when
Enter Sancho behind. I meet a Messalina, tired and unsated in her foul San. I doubt my master has found but rough desires; a Clytemnestra, bathed in her husband's welcome; he's gone supperless into his study ; I'd blood; an impious Tullia, whirling her chariot | fain know the reason-it may be, somebody has over her father's breathless body, horror invades borrowed one of his books, or so I must find it my faculties. Comparing, then, the numerous out.
[Stands aside. guilty, with the easy count of those that die in Clo. Sir, you could not have started any thing innocence, I detest and loath them as ignorance, more agreeable to my inclination; and for the of atheism,
young lady's, sir, if this old gentleman will please Ant. And you do resolve, then, not to make to give me a sight of her, you shall see me whip payment of the debt you owe me?
into her's, in the cutting of a caper. Car. What debt, good sir !
Cha. Well, pursue and conquer; though, let Ant. Why, the debt I paid my father, when I me tell you, sir, my girl has wit, and will give got you, sir, and made him a grandsire; which I you as good as you bring; she has a smart way, expect from you. I won't have my naine die.
Car. Nor would I ; my laboured studies, sir, Clo. Sir, I will be as smart as she; I have my may prove in time a living issue.
share of courage; I fear no woman alive, sir, haAnt. Very well, sir; and so I shall have a ge ving always found that love and assurance ought Deral collection of all the quiddits, froin Adam to be as inseparable companions, as a beau and a till this time, to be my grandchild.
snuff-box, or a curate and a tobacco-stopper. Car. I'll take my best care, sir, that what I | Cha. Faith, thou art a pleasant rogue! E'gad leave, may'nt shame the family.
she must like thee. Cha. A sad fellow, this! this is a very sad fel- Clo. I know how to tickle the ladies, sir--in low!
[ Aside. Paris, I had constantly two challenges every Aat. So, in short, you would not marry an em- morning came up with my chocolate, only for press!
being pleasant company the night before with Car. Give me leave to enjoy myself. The the first ladies of quality. closet, that contains my chosen books, to me's a Cha. Ah, silly envious rogues ! Prithee, what glorious court; my venerable companions there, do you do to the ladies ? the old sages and philosophers, sometimes the San. Positively, nothing.
[Aside. greatest kings and heroes, whose counsels I have Clo. Why, the truth is, I did make the jades leave to weigh, and call their victories, if unjust drink a little too smartly; for which the poor ly got, anto a strict account, and, in my fancy, dogs, the princes, could not endure me. dare deface their ill-placed statues. Can I then Cha. Why, hast thou really conversed with the part with solid, constant pleasures, to clasp un- royal family? certain ranities? No, sir, be it your care to swell Clo. Conversed with them! aye, rot them, your heap of wealth ; marry my brother, and let aye, aye-You must know, some of them caine him get you bodies of your name; I rather would with me half a day's journey, to see me a little inforin it with a soul. I tire you, sir_ your on my way hither ; but e'gad, I sent young Louis pardon and your leave. Lights there, for my back again to Marli, as drunk as a tinker, by study.
[Erit CARLOS. Jove! Ha, ha, ha! I can't but laugh to think Ant. Was ever man thus transported from the how old Monarchy growled at him next morning. common sense of his own happiness! a stupid Cha. Gad-a-mercy, boy! Well, and I warrant wise rogue! I could beat him. Now, if it were thou wert as intimate with their ladies, too? not for my hopes in young Clody, I might fairly! San. Just alike, I dare answer for him. conclude my name were at a period.
[Aside. Cha. Aye, aye, he's the match for my money, Clo. Why, you shall judge now, you shall and my girl's too, I warrant her. What say you, judge-let me see-there was I and Monsieursir, shall we tell them a piece of our mind, and no, no, no! Monsieur did not sup with usturn them together instantly?
there was I and prince Grandmont, duke de BonAnt. This minute, sir; and here comes my grace-duke de Bellegrade—(Bellegrade--yesyoung rogue, in the very nick of his fortune. yes-Jack was there) count de l'Esprit, marshal
Bombard, and that pleasant dog, the prince de Enter Clodio.
Hautenbas. We six, now, were all at supper, all Ant. Clody, a word
| in good humour; champaigne was the word, and Clo. To the wise is enough. Your pleasure, sir?) wit few about the room, like a pack of losing
cards-now, sir, in Madame's adjacent lodgings, too! If we have studied our majors and our mithere happened to be the self-same number of nors, our ante edents and consequents, to be conladies, after the fatigue of a ballet, diverting cluded coxconibs at last, we have made a fair themselves with ratiba and the spleen; so dull, hand on't. I'm glad I know of this roguery, they were not able to talk, though it were scan however. I'll take care my master's uncle, old don dalously, even of their best friends. So, sir, af- Lewis, shall hear of it; for, though he can hardly ter a profound silence, at last, one of thein gaped | read a proclamation, yet he doats upon his learn-Oh, gad! says she, would that pleasant dog, ing; and if he be that old, rougb, testy blade he Clody, were here, to badiner a little ! hey! says used to be, we may chance to have a rubbers a second, and stretched--Ah, mon dieu ! says a with them first here he comes, profecto. third, and waked-Could not one find him? says a fourth, and leered-Oh, burn him, says a fifth,
Enter Don Lewis. I saw him go out with the nasty rakes of the D. Lew. Sancho, where's my boy Charles ? blood again-in a pet-did you so? says a sixth. What, is he at iti Is he at it? Deep, deep-I Pardie! we'll spoil that gang presently in a warrant him-Sancho a little peep now-one passion. Whereupon, sir, in two minutes, I re- peep at him, through the key-hole-I must have ceived a billet in four words—Chien, nous vous a peep. demandons ;' subscribed, Grandmont, Bongrace, San. Have a care, sir, he's upon a magical Beliegrade, L'Esprit, Bombard, and Hautenbas, point.
Cha. Why, these are the very names of the D. Lew. What, has he lost any thing? princes you supped with.
San. Yes, sir, he has lost, with a vengeance. Clo. Every soul of them the individual wife or D. Lew. But what, what, what, what, sirrah! sister of every man in the company, split me! what is't? ha, ha, ha!
Sun. Why, his birth-right, sir; he is di-diCha. & Ant. Ha, ha !
[Sobbing: San. Did ever two old gudgeons swallow so D. Leu. Ha! how! when! what !" where! greedily?
Aside. who! what dost thou mean? Ant. Well, and didst thou make a night on't, San. His brother, sir, is to marry Angelina, boy?
the great heiress, to enjoy three parts of his faClo. Yes, e'gad, and morning too, sir; for about ther's estate; and my master is to have a whole eight o'clock the next day, slap they all soused | acre of new books, for setting his hand to the upon their knees, kissed round, burued their com conveyance. modes, drank my health, broke their glasses, and D. Lew. This must be a lie, sirrah; I will so parted.
have it a lie. Ant. Gad-a-mercy, Clody! Nay, 'twas always San. With all my heart, sir; but here comes a wild young rogue !
my old master, and the pickpocket the lawyer : Chu. I like him the better for't-he's a plea- | they'll tell you more. sant one, I'm sure. Ant. Well, the rogne gives him a rare account
Enter Antonio, and a Lawyer. of his travels.
Ant. Here, sir, this paper has your full ine Clo. E'gad, sir, I have a cure for the spleen. structions : pray, be speedy, sir; I don't know Ah, ha! I know how to wriggle myself into a la but we inay couple them to-morrow; be sure dy's favour-give me leave when you please, sir. you make it firm.
Cha. Sir, you shall have it this moment- Lau. Do you secure his hand, sir, I defy the faith, I like him-you remember the conditions, law to give him his title again. sir; three parts of your estate to him and his
[Erit Lawyer. heirs.
San. What think you now, sir? Ant. Sir, he deserves it all; 'tis not a trifle D. Lew. Why, now, methinks I'm pleased shall part them. You see Charles has given over this is right-I'm pleased-must cut that lawthe world : I'll undertake to buy his birth-right yer's throat, though-must bone him-aye, I'll for a shelf of new books.
have him boned—and potted, Cha, Aye, aye; get you the writings ready, Ant. Brother, how is it? with your other son's hand to them; for, unless D. Lew. Oh, mighty well-mighty well— let's he signs, the conveyance is of no validity.
feel your pulse-feverishAnt. I know it, sir—they shall be ready with (Looks earnestly in ANTONIO's face, and, afhis hand in two hours.
ter some pause, whistles a piece of a tune. Cha. Why, then, come along, my lad; and Ant. You are merry, brother. now I'll shew thee to my daughter.
D. Lew. It's a lie. Clo. I dare be shown, sir-Allons! Hey, sui Ant. How, brother! vons l'amour.
[Exeunt all but SanchO. D. Lew. A damned lie-I am not merry. San. Hiow ! my poor master to be disinherited,
[Smiling for monsieur Sa-sa, there, and I a looker on Ant. What are you, then?