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them once for ever, be just and tell me—are you Atall. I shall be proud to be better known amarried?
mong any of your friends. (Salutes her. Syl. If that can make you easy, no.
Cla. Soh! he takes the hint, I see, and seems Åtall. 'Tis ease, indeed nor are you promised, not to know me neither : I know not what to nor your heart engaged?
think I am confounded! I hate both him and Syl. That's bard to tell you : but to be just, 1 her. How unconcerned he looks! Confusion ! own my father has engaged my person to one I he addresses her before my face. never saw; and my heart, I fear, is inclining to one he never saw.
Lady Sadlife peeping in. Atall. Oh, yet be merciful, and ease my doubt; tell me the happy man that has deserved su ex- Lady Sad. What do I see? The pleasant young quisite a blessing.
fellow that talked with me in the park just now! Syl. That, sir, requires some pause : first, tell This is the luckiest accident! I must know a litme why you're so inquisitive, without letting nie tle more of him.
(Retires. know the condition of your own heart?
Syl. Cousin, and Mr Freeman, I think I need Atall. In every circumstance my heart's the not make any apology-you both know the occasame with yours; 'tis promised to one I never sion of any leaving you together-in a quarter of saw, by a commanding father, who, by my firm' an hour I'll wait on you again. (Erit Sylvia. hopes of happiness, I am resolved to disobey, Atall. So ! I'm in a hopeful way now, faith; unless your cruelty prevents it.
but buff's the word : I'll stand it. Syl. But my disobedience would beggar me. Cla. Mr Freeman ! So, my gentleman has Åtall. Banish that fear. I'm heir to a fortune changed his name, too! How harmless he looks! will support you like yourself. May I not know I have my senses sure, and yet the demureness of
that face looks as if he had a mind to persuade Syl. Yet you must not.
me out of them. I could find in my heart to huXtall. Why that nicety? Is not it in my mour his assurance, and see how far be'll carry power to enquire whose house this is when I am it-Will you please to sit, sir? [They sit. gone?
Atall. What the devil can this mean? Sure Syl. And be never the wiser. These lodgings she has a mind to counterface me, and not are a friend's, and are only borrowed on this oc- know me, too-With all my heart: if her lacasion : but to save you the trouble of any fur- dyship won't know me, I'm sure 'tis not my busither needless questions, I will make you one pro- ness, at this time, to know her. Aside. posal. I have a young lady here within, who is Cla. Certainly that face is cannon proof. the only contident of my engagements to you:
Aside. on her opinion I rely; nor can you take it ill, if Atall. Now for a formal speech, as if I had I take no farther steps without it: 'twould be never seen her in my life before. Aside.] Mamiserable, indeed, should we both meet beggars. dam-a-hem! Madam-I-a-hem! I own your actions and appearance merit all Cla. Curse of that steady face! [Aside. you can desire; let her be as well satisfied of Atall. I say, madam, since I am an utter your pretensions and condition, and you shall stranger to you, I am afraid it will be very diffifind it shan't be a little fortune shall make me cult for me to offer you more arguments than ungrateful.
one to do me a friendship with your cousin; but Atall. So generous an offer exceeds my hopes! if you are, as she seems to own you, her real Syl. Who's there?
friend, I presume you can't give her a better
proof of your being so, than pleading the cause Enter a Servant.
of a sincere and humble lover, whose tender Desire my cousin Clarinda to walk in.
wishes never can propose to taste of peace in Atall. Ha! Clarinda ! If it should be my Cla- life without her. rinda now, I'm in a sweet condition—by all that's Cla. Umph! I'm choaked.
Aside. terrible, the very she ! this was finely contrived of Atall. She gave me hopes, that when I had fortune.
[Aside. satisfied you of my birth and fortune, you would
do me the honour to let me know her name and Enter CLARINDA.
family. Cla. Defend me! Colonel Standfast! She has Cla. Sir, I must own you are the most perfect certainly discovered my affair with him, and has master of your art, that ever entered the lists of a mind to insult me by an affected resignation of assurance. her pretensions to him. I'll disappoint her-I Atall. Madam! won't know him.
Aside. Cla. And I don't doubt but you will find it a Syl. Cousin, pray, come forward ; this is the much easier task to impose upon my cousin, than gentleman I am so much obliged to-sir, this me. lady is a relation of mine, and the person we Atall. Impose, madam! I should be sorry any were speaking of
thing I have said could disoblige you into such hard thoughts of me. Sure, madam, you are un- , that, till my innocence is clear to her, and she der some misinformation.
again receives me into mercy, Cla. I was indeed; but now my eyes are open; A madman's frenzy's heaven to what I feel; for, till this minute, I never knew that the gay The wounds you give 'tis she alone can heal. colonel Standfast was the demure Mr Freeman.
[Erit ATALL, Atall. Colonel Staudfast! This is extremely Cla. Most abandoned impudence! And yet I dark, madam,
know not which vexes me most, his out-facing my Cla. This jest is tedious, sir—impudence grows senses, or his insolent owning his passion for my dull, when 'tis so very extravagani,
cousin to my face: 'tis impossible she could put Atall. Madam, I am a gentleman—but not yet him upon this; it must be all his own; but, be it wise enough, I find, to account for the humours as it will, by all that's woman, I'll have revenge! of a fine lady.
[Exit CLA. Cla. Troth, sir, on second thoughts, I begin to be a little better reconciled to your assurance; Re-enter Atall and LADY SADLIFE at the 'tis, in some sort, modesty to deny yourself; for
other side. to own your perjuries to my face, bad been an insolence transcendently provoking.
Atall. Hey-day! is there no way down stairs Atall. Really, madam, my not being able to here? Death! I can't find my way out! This is apprehend one word of all this, is a great incon- | the oddest housevenience to my affair with your cousin : but if Lady Sad. Here he is—I'll venture to pass by you will first do me the honour to make me ac- him. quainted with her name and family, I don't much Atall. Pray, madam, which is the nearest way care if I do take a little pains afterwards to come out? to a right understanding with you.
Lady Sad. Sir, out-maCla. Come, come, since you see this assurance Atall. Oh, my stars! is't you, madam? this is will do you no good, you had better put on a fortunate indeed—I beg you'll tell me, do you simple look, and generously confess your frailties: live here, madam? the same slyness, that deceived me first, will still Lady Sad. Not very far off, sir : but this is no find ne woman enough to pardon you.
place to talk with you alone-indeed I must beg Atall. That bite won't do. (Aside.] Sure, ma
your pardon. dam, you mistake me for some other person. Atall
. By all those kindling charms that fire Cla. Insolent, audacious villain! I am not to my soul, no consequence on earth shall make me have my senses, then!
quit my hold, till you've given me some kind as: Atall. No.
(Aside. surance that I shall see you again, and speedily! Cla. And you are resolved to stand it to the egad I'll have one out of the family at least. last !
Lady Sad. Oh, good, here's company! Atall. The last extremity.
. Oh, do pot rack me with delays, but Cla. Well, sir, since you are so much a stran- quick, before this dear, short-lived opportunity's ger to colonel Standfast, I'll tell you where to find lost, inform me where you live, or kill me : to him, and tell him this from me. I hate him, part with this soft white hand is ten thousand scorn, detest, and loath him : I never meant him daggers to my heart. [Kissing it eagerly. but at best for my diversion; and, should he ever Lady Sad. Oh, lud! I am going home this mirenew his dull addresses to me, I'll have him used nute; and if you should offer to dog my chair, I as his vain insolence deserves. Now, sir, I have protest I- was ever such usage- -Lordno more to say, and I desire you would leave the sure! Oh-follow me down, then. [Ereunt. house immediately. Atall. I would not willingly disoblige you, ma
Re-enter CLARINDA and Sylvia. dam; but 'tis impossible to stir 'till I have seen Syl. Ha, ha, ha! your cousin, and cleared myself of these strange Cla. Nay, you may laugh, madam, but what I aspersions.
you Cia. Don't flatter yourself, sir, with so vain a Syl. Ha, ha, ha! hope ; for I must tell you, once for all, you've seen Čla. You don't believe, then? the last of her; and if you won't be gone, you'll Syl. I do believe, that when some women are oblige me to have you forced away.
inclined to like a inan, nothing more palpably Atall. I'll be even with you. (Aside.] Well, discovers it, than their railing at him; ha, ha! madam, since I find nothing can prevail upon your pardon, cousin; you know you laughed at your cruelty, I'll take my leave: but, as you hope me just now upon the same occasion. for justice on the man that wrongs you, at least Čla. The occasion's quite different, madam; I be faithful to your lovely friend. And when you hate him. And, once more I tell you, he's a vilhave named to her my utmost guilt, yet paint my lain; you're imposed on. He's a colonel of foot, passion, as it is, sincere. Tell her what tortures his regiment's now in Spain, and his name's StandÍ endured in this severe exclusion from her sight, fast.
Syl. But, pray, good cousin, whence had you mont's way is, to be severe in his construction of this intelligence of him?
people's meaning. Cla. From the same place that you had your Syl. I'll write my letter, and be with you, coufalse account, madam ; his own mouth.
[Exit SYLVIA. Syl. What was his business with you?
Cle. It was always my principle, madam, to Cla. Much about the same, as his business | have an humble opinion of my merit; when a won with you-love.
man of sense frowns upon me, I ought to think I Syl. Love! to you!
deserve it. Cla. Me, madam! Lord, what am I? Old, or Cla. But to expect to be always received with a monster! Is it so prodigious that a man should a smile, I think, is having a very extraordinary like me?
opinion of one's merit. Syl. No! but I'm amazed to think, if he had .Cle. We differ a little as to fact, madam : for liked you, he should leave you so soon, for me! these ten days past, I have had no distinction,
Cla. For you ! leave me for you! No, madam, but a severe reservedness. You did not use to I did not tell you that, neither! Ha, ha, ha! be so sparing of your good-humour; and, while
Syl. No! What made you so violently angry I see you gay to all the world but me, I cannot with him, then? Indeed, cousin, you had better but be a little concerned at the change, take some other fairer way; this artifice is much Cla. If he has discovered the colonel now, I'm toc weak to make me break with him. But, undone! he could not meet him, sure. I must however, to let you see I can be still a friend, humour him a little.-- Aside. -Men of your prove him to be what you say he is, and my en sinceệe temper, Mr Clerimont, I own, don't algagements with him shall soon be over.
ways meet with the usage they deserve : but woCla. Look you, madam, not but I slight the men are giddy things, and, had we no errors to tenderest of his addresses; but, to convince you auswer for, the use of good-nature in a lover that my vanity was nut mistaken in him, I'll write would be lost. Vanity is our inherent weakness : to him by the name of Colonel Standfasc, and do you must not chide, if we are sometimes fonder you the same by that of Freeman; and let's each of your passions than your prudence. appoint him to meet us at my lady Sadlife's at the Cle. This friendly condescension makes me same time : if these appear two different men, Imore your slave than ever. Oh, yet be kind, and think our dispute's easily at an end; if but one, tell me, have I been tortured with a groundless and he does not own all I have said of him to jealousy? your face, I'll make you a very humble curtesy, Clą. Let your own heart be judge--But don't and beg your pardon.
take it ill if I leave you now I have some eare Syl. And, if he does own it, I'll make your la nest business with my cousin Sylvia : But todyship the same reverence, and beg yours. night, at my lady Dainty's, I'll make you amends :
you'll be there? Enter CLERIMONT.
Cle. I need not promise you, Cla. Pshaw! he here !
Cla. Your servant. Ah, how easily is poor Cle. I am glad to find you in such good com- sincerity imposed on! Now for the colonel. pany, madam,
[Erit CLARINDA. Cla. One's seldom long in good company, sir. Cle. This unexpected change of humour more
Cle. I am sorry mine has been so troublesome stirs my jealousy than all her late severity. I'll of late; but I value your ease at too high a rate watch her close : to disturb it.
[Going For she, that from a just reproach is kind, Syl. Nay, Mr Clerimont, upon my word you Gives more suspicion of her guilty mind, shan't stir. Hark you—[Whispers.--Your par- And throws her smiles, like dust, to strike the don, cousin,
lover blind. Cie. I must not lose him, neither--Mr Cleri
you should e'en fling your physic out of the wins SCENE I.-LADY DAINTY's apartment: a ta- I dow: if you were not in perfect health in three ble, with phials, gallipots, glasses, 8c. LADY
days, I'd be bound to be sick for you. Dainty and SITUP, her woman.
Lady Dain. Peace, good impertinence! I tell Lady Dain. Sirup! Situp!
thee, no woman of quality is, or should be, in Sit. Madam!
perfect health-Huh, huh Coughs faintly. Lady Dain. Thou art strangely slow; I told To be always in health is as vulgar as to be althee the hartshorn; I have the vapours to that ways in humour, and would equally betray one's degree!
want of wit and breeding : Where are the felSit. If your ladyship would take my advice, 'lows? Vol. II.
Sit. Here, madam
Enter two Footmen.
Ser. Mrs Sylvia, madam, is come to wait on
your ladyship: Lady Dain. Cæsar' Run to my lady Round- Lady Dain. Desire her to walk in ; let the sides ; desire to know now she rested; and tell physic alone: I'll take a little of her company; her the violence of my cold is abated : huh, huh! she's mighty good for the spleen. Pompey, step you to my lady Killchairman's; give my service; say I have been so embarrassed
Enter Sylvia. with the spleen all this morning, that I am under Syl. Dear lady Dainty! the greatest uncertainty in the world, whether I Lady Dain. My good creature, I'm overjoyed shall be able to stir out or no-And, d'ye hear? to see you-huh, huh! desire to know how my lord does, and the new Syl. I am sorry to see your ladyship wrapt up monkey--
[Ereunt footmen. thus; I was in hopes to have had your company Sit. In my conscience, these great ladies make to the India House. themselves sick, to make themselves business; Lady Dain. If any thing could tempt me and are well or ill, only in ceremony to one ano-abroad, 'twould be that place, and such agreether.
[Aside. able company; but how came you, dear Sylvia, Lady Dain. Where's t'other fellow ?
to be reconciled to any thing in an India House? Sit. He is not returned yet, madam.
you used to have a most barbarous inclination for Lady Dain. 'Tis indeed a strange lump, not our own odious manufactures. fit to carry a disease to any body; I sent him Syl. Nay, madam, I am only going to recruit t'other day to the dutchess of Diet-Drink, with my tea-table: as to the rest of their trumpery, I the colic, and the brute put it into his own tra- am as much out of humour with it as ever. montane language, and called it the belly-ach. Lady Dain. Well, thou art a pleasant crea
Sit. I wish your ladyship had not occasion to ture, thy distaste is so diverting. send for any; for my part
Syl. And your ladyship is so expensive, that · Lady Dain. Thy part! Prithee, thou wert really I am not able to come into it. made of the rough masculine kind; 'tis betraying Lady Dain. Now it is to me prodigious, how our sex, not to be sickly and tender. All the fa- some women can muddle away their money upon milies I visit, have something derived to them housewifery, children, books, and charities, when from the elegant nice state of indisposition; you there are so many well-bred ways, and foreign see, even in the men, a genteel, as it were, stag- curiosities, that more elegantly require it-I have ger, or twine of the bodies; as if they were not every morning the rarities of all countries brought yet confirmed enough for the rough, laborious to me, and am in love with every new thing I exercise of walking. Nay, even most of their see.- Are the people come yet, Situp? diseases, you see, are not prophaned by the Sit. They have been below, madam, this half crowd: the apoplexy, the gout, and vapours, are hour. all peculiar to the nobility. Huh, hub! And I Lady Dain. Dispose them in the parlour, and could almost wish, that colds were only ours; we'll be there presently. [Erit Situp. there's something in them so genteel, so agreea- Syl. How can your ladyship take such pleasure ably disordering-Huh, huh!
in being cheated with the baubles of other counSit. That, I hope, I shall never he fit for them tries? - Your ladyship forgot the spleen.
Lady Dain. Thou art a very infidel to all finery. Lady Dain. Oh! my dear spleen—I grudge Syl. And you are a very bigotthat even to some of us.
Lady Dain. A person of all reason, and no Sit. I knew an iroumonger's wife, in the city, complaisance. that was mightily troubled with it.
Syl. And your ladyship all complaisance, and Ludy Dain. Foh! What a creature bast thou no reason. named ! An ironmonger's wife have the spleen! Lady Dain. Follow me, and be converted. Thou mightst as well have said her husband was
(Ereunt. a fine gentleman-Give me soinething!
Sit. Will your ladyship please to take any of Re-enter Situp, a woman with china ware; an the steel drops? Or the bolus? Or the electuary?
Indian man with screens, tea, & c. a birdman, Or
with a paroquet, monkey, &c. Lady Dain. This wench will smother me with questious-Huh, huh! Bring any of thein- these Sit. ('ome, come into this room. healthy sluts are so boisterous, they split one's Chi. I hope your ladyship’s lady won't be long brains : I fancy myself in an inn while she talks in coming. to me; I must have some decayed person of qua- Sit. I don't care if she never comes to you.lity about me ; for the commons of England are It seems you trade with the ladies for old clothes, the strangest creatures-Huh, huh!
and give them china for their gowns and petticoats; I'm like to have a fine time on't with such Chi. These are pagods, madam, that the Increatures as you indeed!
dians worship. Chi. Alas, madam, I'm but a poor woman, and Lady Dain. So far I am an Indian. am forced to do any thing to live. Will your la- Syl: Now, to me, they are all monsters. dyship be pleased to accept of a piece of china? Lady Duin. Profane creature!
Sit. Puh! no.- I don't care. Though I must Chi. Is your ladyship for a piece of right Flanneeds say you look like an honest woman. ders lace?
[Looking on it. Lady Dain. Um-no; I don't care for it, now Chi. Thank you, good madam.
it is not prohibited. Sit. Our places are like to come to a fine pass Ind. Will your ladyship be pleased to have a indeed, if our ladies must buy their china with pound of fine tea? our perquisites. At this rate, iny lady sha'nt Lady Dain. What, filthy, odious Bohea, I suphave an old fan or a glove, but
pose? Chi. Pray, madam, take it.
Ind. No, madam; right Kappakawawa, Sit. No, not l; I won't have it, especially with- Lady Dain. Well, there's something in the veout a saucer to't. Here, take it again.
ry sound of that name, that makes it irresistible. Chi. Indeed you shall accept of it.
What is it a pound? Sit. Not I, truly—come, give it me, give it Ind. But six guineas, madam. me;-here's my lady.
Lady Dain. How infinitely cheap! I'll buy it
all.--Situp, take the man in and pay him, and Enter LADY DAINTY and Sylvia.
let the rest call again to-morrow. Lady Dain. Well, my dear, is not this a pretty Omn. Bless your ladyship! sight now?
[Exeunt Sit. Chi. Ind. and Bird. Syl. 'Tis better than so many doctors and apo Lady Dain. Lord, how feverish I am!-the thecaries, indeed.
least motion does so disorder medo but feel Lady Dain. All trades must live, you know; me. and those, no more than these, could subsist, if Syl. No, really, I think you are in very good the world were all wise or healthy.
temper. Syl. I am afraid our real diseases are but few Lady Dain. Burning, indeed, child. to our imaginary, and doctors get more by the sound than the sickly.
Enter Servant, Doctor, and Apothecary. Lady Dain. My dear, you're allowed to say any Ser. Madam, here's Doctor Bolus and the apothing--but now I must talk with the people. thecary.
[Erit. Have you got any thing new there?
Lady Dain. Oh, doctor, I'm glad you're come; Chi. Ind. and Bird. Yes, an't please your lady- one is not sure of a moment's life without you. ship.
Dr Bol. How did your ladyship rest, madam? Lady Dain. One at once.
Feels her pulse. Bird. I have brought your ladyship the finest Lady Dain. Never worse, indeed, doctor: I monkey
once fell into a little slumber, indeed, but then Syl. What a filthy thing it is!
was disturbed by the most odious, frightful dream, Lady Dain. Now I think he looks very humo- that if the fright had not wakened me, I had cerrous and agreeable-I vow, in a white perriwig tainly perished in my sleep, with the apprehenhe might do mischief. Could he but talk and sion. take snuff
, there's ne'er a fop in town would go Dr Bol. A certain sign of a disordered brain, beyond him.
madam; but I'll order something that shall comSyl. Most fops would go farther if they did not pose your ladyship. speak; but talking, indeed, makes them very Lady Dain. Mr Rhubarb, I must quarrel with often worse company than inonkies.
you- -you don't disguise your medicines enough; Lady Dain. Thou pretty little picture of man!- they taste all physic. How very Indian he looks !- I could kiss the Rhu. To alter it more might offend the operadear creature!
tion, madam, Syl. Ah, don't touch him! he'll bite!
Lady Dain. I don't care what is offended, so Bird. No, madam, he is the tamest you ever my taste is not. saw, and the least mischievous.
Dr Bol. Hark you, Mr Rhubarb, withdraw the Lady Dain. Then take him away, I won't medicine, rather than not make it pleasant: I'll have him; for mischief is the wit of a monkey; find a season for the want of its operation. [ Aside, and I would not give a farthing for one that Rhu. But, sir, if we don't look about us, she'll would not break me three or four pounds worth grow well upon our hands. of china in a morning. Oh, I am in love with Dr Bol. Never fear that; she's too much a these Indian figures ! - Do but observe what an woman of quality to dare to be well without her indocent natural simplicity there is in all the ac- doctor's opinion. tions of them!
Rhu. Sir, we have drained the whole cata