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rogue.

Syl. Is it your wife or daughter, booby? I ravished them both yesterday.

Bul. Pray, captain, read the articles of war; we'll see him listed immediately.

Plume. [Reads.] Articles of war against mutiny and desertion, &c.

Syl. Hold, sir-Once more, gentlemen, have a care what you do, for you shall severely smart for any violence you offer to me; and you, Mr Balance, I speak to you particularly, you shall heartily repent it.

Plume. Look'e, young spark, say but one word more, and I'll build a horse for you as high as the cieling, and make you ride the most tiresome journey that ever you made in your life.

Syl. You have made a fine speech, good cap tain Huff-cap! but you had better be quiet; I shall find a way to cool your courage.

Plume. Pray, gentlemen, don't mind him, he's distracted.

Syl. 'Tis false; I am descended of as good a family as any in your county; my father is as good a man as any upon your bench; and I am heir to twelve hundred pounds a-ycar.

Bal. He's certainly mad. Pray, captain, read the articles of war.

Syl. Hold, once more. Pray, Mr Balance, to you I speak; suppose I were your child, would you use me at this rate?

Bal. No, faith! were you mine, I would send you to Bedlam first, and into the army afterwards.

Syl. But, consider my father, sir; he's as good, as generous, as brave, as just a man, as ever served his country. I'm his only child; perhaps, the loss of me may break his heart.

Bal. He's a very great fool, if it does. Captain, if you don't list him this minute, I'll leave the court.

Plume. Kite, do you distribute the levy-money to the men while I read.

Kite. Ay, sir. Silence, gentlemen.

[PLUME reads the articles of war. Bal. Very well; now, captain, let me beg the favour of you not to discharge this fellow upon any account whatsoever. Bring in the rest.

Const. There are no more, an't please your worship.

Bal. No more! there were five two hours ago. Syl. 'Tis true, sir, but this rogue of a constable let the rest escape for a bribe of eleven shillings a man, because he said the act allowed him but ten; so the odd shilling was clear gains. All Just. How?

Syl. Gentlemen, he offered to let me go away for two guineas, but I had not so much about me: this is truth, and I'm ready to swear it.

Kite. And I'll swear it: give me the book; 'tis for the good of the service.

Mob. May it please your worship, I gave him half a crown to say that I was an honest man; but, now, since that your worships have made me a rogue, I hope I shall have my money again.

Bal. Tis my opinion, that this constable be put into the captain's hands; and if his friends don't bring four good men for his ransom by tomorrow night, captain, you shall carry him to Flanders.

Scale. Scrup. Agreed, agreed.

Plume. Mr Kite, take the constable into custody.

Kite. Ay, ay, sir. [To the constable.] Will you please to have your office taken from you, or will you handsomely lay down your staff, as your betters have done before you?

[Constable drops his staff. Bal. Come, gentlemen, there needs no great ceremony in adjourning this court. Captain, you shall dine with me.

Kite. Come, Mr Militia Serjeant, I shall silence you now, I believe, without your taking [Exeunt.

the law of me?

SCENE V.-A room in BALANCE's house.

Enter BALANCE and Steward.

Stew. We did not miss her till the evening, sir; and then, searching for her in the chamber that was my young master's, we found her clothes there; but the suit that your son left in the press, when he went to London, was gone.

Bal. The white, trimmed with silver?
Stew. The same.

Bal. You han't told that circumstance to any body?

Stew. To none but your worship.

Bal. And be sure you don't. Go into the dining-room, and tell captain Plume that I beg to speak with him.

Stew. I shall.

[Exit.

Bul. Was ever man so imposed upon! I had her promise, indeed, that she would never dispose of herself without my consent—I have consented with a witness! given her away as my act and deed—and this, I warrant, the captain thinks will pass. No, I shall never pardon him the villany, first of robbing me of my daughter, and then the mean opinion he must have of me to think that I could be so wretchedly imposed upon her extravagant passion might encourage

her in the attempt, but the contrivance must be swearing, drunken crew; and you, Mr Justice, his. I'll know the truth presently.

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Bal. So that, between you both, Rose has been finely managed.

Plume. Upon my honour, sir, she had no harm from me.

Bal. All's safe, I find-Now, captain, you must know, that the young fellow's impudence in court was well-grounded; he said I should heartily repent his being listed, and so I do from my soul.

Plume. Ay! for what reason?

Bal. Because he is no less than what he said he was; born of as good a family as any in this county, and he is heir to twelve hundred pounds

a-year.

Plume. I'm very glad to hear it—for I wanted but a man of that quality to make my company a perfect representative of the whole commons of England.

Bal. Won't you discharge him?

Plume. Not under a hundred pounds sterling. Bal. You shall have it, for his father is my intimate friend.

Plume. Then you shall have him for nothing. Bal. Nay, sir, you shall have your price. Plume. Not a penny, sir; I value an obligation to you much above an hundred pounds.

Bal. Perhaps, sir, you shan't repent your generosity-Will you please to write his discharge in my pocket-book ?—[Gives his book.]— In the nean time, we'll send for the gentleman. Who waits there?

Enter a Servant.

Go to the captain's lodging, and inquire for Mr Wilful; tell him his captain wants him here immediately.

Ser. Sir, the gentleman's below at the door, inquiring for the captain.

Plume. Bid him come up. Here's the discharge, sir.

Bal. Sir, I thank you-'Tis plain he had no hand in't. [Aside.

Enter SYLVIA.

Syl. I think, captain, you might have used me better, than to leave me yonder among your

might have been so civil as to have invited me to dinner; for I have eaten with as good a man as your worship.

Plume. Sir, you must charge our want of respect upon our ignorance of your qualityBut now, you are at liberty—I have discharged

you.

Syl. Discharged me!

Bal. Yes, sir; and you must once more go home to your father.

Syl. My father! then I am discovered—Oh, sir!-[Kneeling.]-1 expect no pardon.

Bul. Pardon! no, no, child; your crime shall be your punishment: here, captain, I deliver her over to the conjugal power for her chastisement. Since you will be a wife, be you a husband, a very husband-When she tells you of her love, upbraid her with her folly; be modishly ungrate ful, because she has been unfashionably kind; and use her worse than you would any body else, because you cannot use her so well as she deserves.

Plume. And are you Sylvia, in good earnest ? Syl. Earnest! I have gone too far to make it a jest, sir.

Plume. And do you give her to me in good earnest?

Bal. If you please to take her, sir.

Plume. Why, then, I have saved my legs and arms, and lost my liberty; secure from wounds, I am prepared for the gout: farewell subsistence, and welcome taxes-Sir, my liberty, and the hope of being a general, are much dearer to me than your twelve hundred pounds a-yearBut to your love, madam, I resign my freedom, and to your beauty my ambition—greater in obeying at your feet, than commanding at the head of an army.

Enter WORTHY.

Wor. I am sorry to hear, Mr Balance, that your daughter is lost.

Bul. So am not I, sir, since an honest gentleman has found her.

Enter MELINDA.

Mel. Pray, Mr Balance, what's become of my cousin Sylvia?

Bul. Your cousin Sylvia is talking yonder, with your cousin Plume.

Mel. And Worthy. How!

Syl. Do you think it strange, cousin, that a woman should change? but I hope you'll excuse a change that has proceeded from constancy. I altered my outside, because I was the same within; and only laid by the woman to make sure of my man: that's my history.

Mel. Your history is a little romantic, cousin; but, since success has crowned your adventures, you will have the world on your side, and I shall be willing to go with the tide, provided

you'll pardon an injury I offered you, in the letter to your father.

Plume. That injury, madam, was done to me, and the reparation I expect, shall be made to my friend: Make Mr Worthy happy, and I shall be satisfied.

Mel. A good example, sir, will go a great way- -When my cousin is pleased to surrender, 'tis probable I shan't hold out much longer. Enter BRAZEN.

Braz. Gentlemen, I am yours

am not yours.

Mel. I'm glad on't, sir.

more, and have persuaded my sweetheart Cartwheel, to go with us; but you must promise not to part with me again.

Syl. I find Mrs Rose has not been pleased with her bed-fellow.

Rose. Bed-fellow! I don't know whether I had a bed-fellow or not.

Syl. Don't be in a passion, child; I was as little pleased with your company, as you could be with mine.

Bul. Pray, sir, donna be offended at my sis-Madam, I ter; she's something underbred; but, if you please, I'll lie with you in her stead.

Braz. So am I---You have got a pretty house, here, Mr Laconic.

Bal. 'Tis time to right all mistakes—My name, sir, is Balance.

Braz. Balance! Sir, I am your most obedient --I know your whole generation---Had not you an uncle that was governor of the Leeward Islands some years ago?

Bal. Did you know him?

Braz. Intimately, sir-He played at billiards to a miracle-You had a brother, too, that was a captain of a fire-ship-poor Dick!-he had the most engaging way with him of making punch and then his cabin was so neat-but his poor boy Jack was the most comical bastard-Ha, ha, ha, ha, ba! a pickled dog, I shall never forget him. Plume. Have you got your recruits, my dear? Braz. Not a stick, my dear! Plume. Probably I shall furnish

you.

Enter ROSE and BULLOCK.

Rose. Captain, captain, I have got loose once

Plume. I have promised, madam, to provide for this girl: now, will you be pleased to let her wait upon you, or shall I take care of her?

Syl. She shall be my charge, sir; you may find it business enough to take care of me.

Bul. Aye, and of me, captain; for wauns! if ever you lift your hands against me, I'll desert

Plume. Captain Brazen shall take care of that. My dear! instead of the twenty thousand pounds you talked of, you shall have the twenty brave recruits that I have raised, at the rate they cost me- -My commission I lay down, to be taken up by some braver fellow, that has more merit, and less good fortune whilst I endeavour, by the example of this worthy gentleman, to serve my king and country at home.

With some regret I quit the active field, Where glory full reward for life does yield; But the recruiting trade, with all its train Of endless plague, fatigue, and endless pain, I gladly quit, with my fair spouse to stay, And raise recruits the matrimonial way.

[Exeunt omnes,

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Enter BONIFACE running. Bar-bell rings. Bon. CHAMBERLAIN, maid, Cherry, daughter Cherry! All asleep, all dead?

Enter CHERRY, running.

Cher. Here, here. Why d'ye bawl so, father? D'ye think we have no ears?

Bon. You deserve to have none, you young minx-the company of the Warrington coach has stood in the hall this hour, and nobody to shew them to their chambers.

Cher. And let them wait, father; there's neither red-coat in the coach, nor footman behind it.

Bon. But they threaten to go to another inn to-night.

Cher. That they dare not, for fear the coachman should overturn them to-morrow. [Ringing:] Coming, coming: here's the London coach arri

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Bon. Yes, sir, I'm old Will Boniface, pretty well known upon this road, as the saying is. Aim. O, Mr Boniface, your servant. Bon. O, sir-What will your honour please to drink, as the saying is?

Aim. I have heard your town of Litchfield much famed for ale: I think I'll taste that.

Bon. Sir, I have now in my cellar ten ton of the best ale in Staffordshire: 'tis smooth as oil, sweet as milk, clear as amber, and strong as brandy, and will be just fourteen years old the fifth day of next march, old style.

Aim. You're very exact, I find, in the age of your ale.

Bon. As punctual, sir, as I am in the age of my children: I'll show you such ale-Here, tapster, broach number 1706, as the saying is.Sir, you shall taste my anno domini-I have lived in Litchfield, man and boy, above eightand-fifty years, and, I believe, have not consumed eight-and-fifty ounces of meat.

Aim. At a meal, you mean, if one may guess your sense by your bulk.

Bon. Not in my life, sir: I have fed purely upon ale: I have eat my ale, drank my ale, and I always sleep upon ale.

Enter tapster, with a tankard. Now, sir, you shall sce-Filling it out.] Your worship's health: Ha! delicious, deliciousfancy it Burgundy; only fancy it, and 'tis worth ten shillings a quart.

Aim. [Drinks.] 'Tis confounded strong. Bon. Strong! It must be so, or how should we be strong that drink it?

Aim. And have you lived so long upon this ale, landlord.

Bon. Eight-and-fifty years, upon my credit, sir; but it killed my wife, poor woman! as the saying is.

Aim. How came that to pass?

Bon. I don't know how, sir; she would not let the ale take its natural course, sir; she was for qualifying it every now and then with a dram, as the saying is; and an honest gentleman, that came this way from Ireland, made her a present of a dozen bottles of usquebaugh but the poor woman was never well after; but, however, I was obliged to the gentleman, you know.

Aim. Why, was it the usquebaugh that killed her?

Bon. My lady Bountiful said soshe, good lady, did what could be done; she cured her of three tympanies, but the fourth carried her off; but she's happy, and I'm contented, as the saying

is.

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| and, I believe, she lays out one half on't in charitable uses, for the good of her neighbours; she cures rheumatisms, ruptures, and broken shins, in men: green-sickness, obstructions, and fits of the mother in women; the king's evil, chin-cough, and chilblains in children: in short, she has cured more people in and about Litchfield within ten years, than the doctors have killed in twenty, and that's a bold word.

Aim. Has the lady been any other way useful in her generation?

Bon. Yes, sir; she has a daughter, by sir Charles, the finest woman in all our country, and the greatest fortune; she has a son, too, by her first husband, squire Sullen, who married a fine lady from London t'other day; if you please, sir, we'll drink his health.

Aim. What sort of a man is he?

Bon. Why, sir, the man's well enough; says little, thinks less, and does-nothing at all, faith; but he's a man of great estate, and values nobody.

Aim. A sportsman, I suppose?

Bon. Yes, sir, he's a man of pleasure: he plays at whist, and smokes his pipe eight-and-forty hours together sometimes.

Aim. A fine sportsman truly! and married, you

say?

Bon. Ay, and to a curious woman, sir. But he's a-He wants it here, sir.

[Pointing to his forehead. Aim. He has it there, you mean. Bon. That's none of my business; he's my landlord; and so a man, you know, would notBut ecod, he's no better than-sir, my humble service to you. [Drinks.] Though I value not a farthing what he can do to me; I pay him his rent at quarter-day; I have a good running trade; I have but one daughter, and I can give her-But no matter for that.

Aim. You're very happy, Mr Boniface. Pray, what other company have you in town?

Bon. A power of fine ladies; and then we have the French officers.

Aim. O, that's right; you have a good many of those gentlemen: pray, how do you like their company?

Bon. So well, as the saying is, that I could wish we had as many more of them: they're full of money, and pay double for every thing they have; they know, sir, that we paid good round taxes for the taking of them, and so they are willing to reimburse us a little one of them lodges in my house.

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