more---Oh, Fainwell! Where are thy promises A harder task than what the poets tell She but one monster feared, I've four to fear, [Exit MRS LOVELY. Enter Servant, and whispers to PRIM. Ser. One Simon Pure inquireth for thee. Per. The woman is mad. [Exit. Sir Phil. So you are all, in my opinion. [Exit. Oba. Prim. Friend Tradelove, business requireth my presence. Trade. Oh, I shan't trouble you--Pox take him for an unmannerly dog!---However, I have kept my word with my Dutchman, and will introduce him too, for all you. [Exit. Enter COLONEL, in a quaker's habit. Oba. Prim. Friend Pure, thou art welcome; how is it with friend Holdfast, and all friends in Bristol? Timothy Littleworth, John Slenderbrain, and Christopher Keepfaith? Col. A goodly company !---[Aside.]-They are all in health, I thank thee for them. Oba. Prim. Friend Holdfast writes me word, that thou camest lately from Pennsylvania. How do all friends there? Oba. Prim. Do they thrive? Col. Yea, friend; the blessing of their good works falls upon them. Enter MRS PRIM and MRS LOVELY. Oba. Prim, Sarah, know our friend Pure, Mrs Prim. Thou art welcome. [He salutes her. Col. Here comes the sum of all my wishes--How charming she appears, even in that disguise! [Aside. Oba. Prim. Why dost thou consider the maiden so attentively, friend? Col. I will tell thee: about four days ago I saw a vision---This very maiden, but in vain attire, standing on a precipice; and heard a voice, which called me by my name---and bid me put forth my hand and save her from the pit---I did so; and, methought, the damsel grew unto my side. Mrs Prim. What can that portend? Oba. Prim. The damsel's conversion---I am persuaded. Mrs Love. That's false, I'm sure——— [Aside Oba. Prim. Wilt thou use the means, friend Pure? Col. Means! What means? Is she not thy daughter, already one of the faithful? Mrs Prim. No, alas! she's one of the ungodly. Oba. Prim. Pray thee, mind what this good man will say unto thee; he will teach thee the way that thou shouldest walk, Anne. Mrs Love. I know my way without his instruction: I hoped to have been quiet when once I had put on your odious formality here. Col. Then thou wearest it out of compulsion, not choice, friend? Mrs Love. Thou art in the right of it, friend. Mrs Prim. Art thou not ashamed to mimic the good man? Ah, thou art a stubborn girl! Col. Mind ber not; she hurteth not me—If thou wilt leave her alone with me, I will discuss some few points with her, that may, perchance, soften her stubbornness, and melt her into com|pliance. Oba. Prim. Content: I pray thee, put it home to her. Come, Sarah, let us leave the good man with her. Mrs Love. [Catching hold of PRIM; he breaks loose, and exit.] What do you mean-to leave me with this old enthusiastical canter? Don't think, because I complied with your formality, to impose your ridiculous doctrine upon me. Col. I pray thee, young woman, moderate thy passion. Mrs Love. I pray thee, walk after thy leader; you will but lose your labour upon me.-These wretches will certainly make me mad! Col. I am of another opinion; the spirit telleth me I shall convert thee, Anne. Mrs Love. 'Tis a lying spirit; don't believe it. Col. Say'st thou so? Why, then, thou shalt convert me, my angel. [Catching her in his arms. Mrs Love. [Shrieks.] Ah! monster, hold off, or I'll tear thy eyes out. Col. Hush! for Heaven's sake-dost thou not know me? I am Fainwell. Mrs Love. Fainwell! [Enter old PRIM.] Oh, I'm undone! Prim here I wish, with all my soul, I had been dumb! Oba. Prim. What is the matter? Why did'st thou shriek out, Anne? Mrs Love. Shriek out! I'll shriek, and shriek again; cry murder, thieves, or any thing, to drown the noise of that eternal babbler, if you leave me with him any longer. . Oba. Prim. Was that all? Fy, fy, Anne! Col. My charming, lovely woman! [Erit. [Embraces her. Mrs Love. What meanest thou by this disguise, Fainwell? Col. To set thee free, if thou wilt perform thy promise. Mrs Love. Make me mistress of my fortune, and make thy own conditions. Col. This night shall answer all my wishes.— See here, I have the consent of three of thy guardians already, and doubt not but Prim will make the fourth. [PRIM listening. Oba. Prim. I would gladly hear what arguments the good man useth to bend her. [Aside. Mrs Love. Thy words give me new life, methinks. Oba. Prim. What do I hear? Mrs Love. Thou best of men! Heaven meant to bless me, sure, when I first saw thee. Oba. Prim. He hath mollified her.- -Oh, wonderful conversion! Col. Ha! Prim listening.-No more, my love; we are observed; seem to be edified, and give them hopes that thou wilt turn quaker, and leave the rest to me. [Aloud.] I am glad to find that thou art touched with what I said unto thee, Anne; another time I will explain the other article unto thee; in the mean while, be thou dutiful to our friend Prim. Mrs Love. I shall obey thee in every thing. Enter OBADIAH PRIM. Oba. Prim. Oh, what a prodigious change is here!--Thou hast wrought a miracle, friend! Anne, how dost thou like the doctrine he hath preached? Mrs Love. So well, that I could talk to him for ever, methinks-I am ashamed of my former folly, and ask your pardon, Mr Prim. Col. Enough, enough, that thou art sorry; he is no pope, Anne. Oba. Prim. Verily, thou dost rejoice me exceedingly, friend; will it please thee to walk into the next room, and refresh thyself--Come, take the maiden by the hand. Col. We will follow thee. Col. Take thou heed, friend, what thou dost say; I do affirm that I am Simon Pure. Sim. Pure. Thy name may be Pure, friend, but not that Pure. Col. Yea, that Pure, which my good friend, Aminadab Holdfast, wrote to my friend Prim about; the same Simon Pure that came from Pennsylvania, and sojourned in Bristol eleven days-thou wouldst not take my name from me, wouldst thou?till I have done with it. [Aside. I Sim. Pure. Thy name! I'm astonished! [Going up to him, SIMON PURE starts buck. Sim. Pure. Avaunt, Satan! approach me not; defy thee and all thy works. Mrs Love. Oh, he'll outcant him-Undone, undone for ever. [Aside. Col. Hark thee, friend, thy sham will not take -Don't exert thy voice; thou art too well acquainted with Satan to start at him, thou wicked reprobate-What can thy design be here? Enter a Servant, and gives PRIM a letter. Oba. Prim. One of these must be a counterfeit; but which, I cannot say. Col. What can that letter be? [Aside. Sim. Pure. Thou must be the devil, friend, that's certain; for no human power can stock so great a falsehood. Oba. Prim. This letter sayeth that thou art better acquainted with that prince of darkness than any here. Read that, I pray thee, Simon. [Gives it to the COLONEL. Col. 'Tis Freeman's hand-[Reads.] There 'is a design formed to rob your house this night, and cut your throat; and for that purpose there is a man disguised like a quaker, who is to 6 pass for one Simon Pure; the gang, whereof I am one, though now resolved to rob no more, has been at Bristol; one of them came in the coach with the quaker, whose name he hath 'taken; and, from what he hath gathered from him, formed that design; and did not doubt but he should so far impose upon you, as to make you turn out the real Simon Pure, and keep him with you. Make the right use of this. Adieu.' Excellent well! Oba. Prim. Dost thou hear this? [Aside. [To SIMON PURE. Sim. Pure. Yea, but it moveth me not; that, doubtless, is the impostor. [Pointing at the COLONEL. Col. Ah! thou wicked one-now I consider thy face, I remember thou didst come up in the leathern conveniency with me-thou hadst a black bob wig on, and a brown camblet coat with brass buttons.- -Can'st thou deny it, ha? Sim. Pure. Yea, I can; and with a safe conscience, too, friend. Oba. Prim. Verily, friend, thou art the most impudent villain I ever saw. Mrs Love. Nay, then, I'll have a fling at him. | a change in our beloved Anne. I came to tell [Aside.]-I remember the face of this fellow at thee that supper stayeth for thee. Bath-Ay, this is he that picked my lady Raffle's pocket in the Grove-Don't you remember that the mob pumped you, friend?---This is the most notorious rogue Sim. Pure. What does provoke thee to seek my life? Thou wilt not hang me, wilt thou, wrongfully? Oba. Prim. She will do thee no hurt, nor thou shalt do me none; therefore, get thee about thy business, friend, and leave thy wicked course of life, or thou mayest not come off so favourably every where. Col. Go, friend, I would advise thee; and tempt thy fate no more. Sim. Pure. Yea, I will go; but it shall be to thy confusion; for I shall clear myself; I will return with some proofs, that shall convince thee, Obadiah, that thou art highly imposed upon. [Exit. Col. Then there will be no stay for me, that's certain-What the devil shall I do? [Aside. Oba. Prim. What monstrous works of iniquity are there in this world, Simon! Col. Yea, the age is full of vice-'Sdeath, I am so confounded, I know not what to say. [Aside. Oba. Prim. Thou art disordered, friend- -art thou not well? Col. My spirit is greatly troubled; and something telleth me, that though I have wrought a good work in converting this maiden, this tender maiden, yet my labour will be in vain: for the evil spirit fighteth against her; and I see, yea I see with the eye of my inward man, that Satan will re-buffet her again, whenever I withdraw myself from her; and she will, yea, this very damsel will, return again to that abomination from whence I have retrieved her, as if it were, yea, as if it were out of the jaws of the fiend. Oba. Prim. Good lack! thinkest thou so? Mrs Love. I must second him. [Aside.] What meaneth this struggling within me? I feel the spirit resisteth the vanities of this world, but the flesh is rebellious, yea, the flesh-I greatly fear the flesh, and the weakness thereof-hum Oba. Prim. The maid is inspired. Aside. Mrs Love. This good man hath spoken com- Enter MRS PRIM. Col. I am not disposed for thy food; my spirit longeth for more delicious meat!-Fain would I redeem this maiden from the tribe of sinners, and break those cords asunder wherewith she is bound—hum— Mrs Love. Something whispers in my ears, methinks-that I must be subject to the will of this good man, and from him only must hope for consolation.hum.-It also telleth me, that I am a chosen vessel to raise up seed to the faithful; and that thou must consent, that we two be one flesh, according to the word-hum Oba. Prim. What a revelation is here! This is certainly part of thy vision, friend; this is the maiden's growing into thy side. Ah! with what willingness should I give thee my consent, could I give thee her fortune, too!--but thou wilt never get the consent of the wicked ones. Col. I wish I was sure of yours. [Aside. Oba. Prim. My soul rejoiceth; yea, rejoiceth, I say, to find the spirit within thee; for lo, it moveth thee with natural agitation-yea, with natural agitation, towards this good man-yea, it stirreth, as one may say-yea, verily I say it stirreth up thy inclination--yea, as one would stir a pudding. Mrs Love. I see, I see the spirit guiding of thy hand, good Obadiah Prim! and now behold thou art signing thy consent ;---and now I see myself within thy arms, my friend and brother, yea, I am become bone of thy bone, and flesh of thy flesh. [Embracing him.---hum Col. Admirably performed! [Aside.]---And I will take thee in all spiritual love for an helpmate, yea, for the wife of my bosomnow, methinks- -I feel a longing and yea, a longing, I say, for the consummation of thy Mrs Prim. The spirit hath greatly moved them both---friend Prim, thou must consent; there's no resisting of the spirit! Oba. Prim. Yea, the light within sheweth me that I shall fight a good fight--and wrestle through those reprobate fiends, thy other guardians;- -yea, I perceive the spirit will hedge thee into the flock of the righteous.---Thou art a chosen lamb-yea, a chosen lamb, and I will not push thee back-No, I will not, I say ;---no, thou shalt leap-a, and frisk-a, and skip-a, and bound, and bound, I say,---yea, bound within the fold of the righteous- -yea, even within thy fold, my brother.-Fetch me the pen and ink, Sarah—and my hand shall confess its obedience to the spirit. Col. I wish it were over. [Aside. Enter MRS PRIM, with pen and ink. Mrs Love. I tremble lest this quaking rogue [Aside. Mrs Prim. I am greatly rejoiced to see such should return and spoil all, Enter BETTY, running to MRS LOVELY. Betty. Oh! madam, madam, here's the quaking man again; he has brought a coachman, and two or three more. Mrs Love. Ruined past redemption! [Aside to COLONEL. Col. No, no; one minute sooner had spoiled all; but now -here's company coming; friend, give me the paper. [Going up to PRIM hastily. Oba. Prim. Here it is, Simon; and I wish thee happy with the maiden. Mrs Love. 'Tis done; and now, devil, do thy worst! Enter SIMON PURE, and Coachman, &c. S. Pure. Look thee, friend, I have brought these people, to satisfy thee that I am not that impostor which thou didst take me for; this is the man that did drive the leathern conveniency, and brought me from Bristol; and this is Col. Look ye, friend, to save the court the trouble of examining witnesses, I plead guilty.~Ha, ha! Oba. Prim. How's this? Is not thy name Pure, then? Col. No, really, sir; I only make bold with this gentleman's name-but I here give it up, safe and sound; it has done the business which I had occasion for, and now I intend to wear my own, which shall be at his service upon the same occasion at any time. Ha, ha, ha! S. Pure. Oh! the wickedness of the age! Coachman. Then you have no further need of [Exit. Col. No; honest man, you may go about your business. us. Oba. Prim. I am struck dumb with thy impudence. Anne, thou hast deceived me—and, perchance, undone thyself. Mrs Prim. Thou art a dissembling baggage, and shame will overtake thee. [Exit. S. Pure. I am grieved to see thy wife so much troubled: I will follow and console her. [Exit. Free. [To the COLONEL.] Is all safe? did my letter do you service? Col. All, all's safe! ample service. [Aside. Sir Phi. Miss Nancy, how dost do, child? Mrs Love. Don't call me miss, friend Philip; my name is Anne, thou knowest. Sir Phi. What! is the girl metamorphosed? Mrs Love. I wish thou wert so metamorphosed.-Ah! Philip, throw off that gaudy attire, and wear the clothes becoming thy age. Oba. Prim. I am ashamed to see these men. [Aside. Sir Phi. My age! the woman is possessed. Col. No, thou art possessed rather, friend. Trade. Hark ye, Mrs Lovely, one word with you. [Takes hold of her hand. Col. This maiden is my wife, thanks to friend Prim, and thou hast no business with her. [Takes her from him. Trade. His wife! hark ye, Mr Freeman. Per. Why, you have made a very fine piece of work of it, Mr Prim. Sir Phi. Married to a quaker! thou art a fine fellow to be left guardian to an orphan, truly! there's a husband for a young lady! Col. When I have put on my beau clothes, sir Philip, you'll like me better Sir Phi. Thou wilt make a very scurvy beaufriend Col. I believe I can prove it under your hand, that you thought me a very fine gentleman in the Park t'other day, about thirty-six minutes after eleven; will you take a pinch, sir Philip? One of the finest snuff-boxes you ever saw. [Offers him snuff. Sir Phi. Ha, ha, ha! I am overjoyed, faith, I am, if thou be'st the gentleman-I own I did give my consent to the gentleman I brought here today-but whether this is he, I can't be positive. Oba. Prim. Can'st thou not?-Now, I think thou art a fine fellow to be left guardian to an orphan! Thou shallow-brained shuttlecock! he may be a pick-pocket for aught thou dost know. Per. You would have been two rare fellows to have been trusted with the sole management of her fortune-would ye not, think ye? But Mr Tradelove and myself shall take care of her portion. Trade. Ay, ay; so we will.-Did not you tell me the Dutch merchant desired me to meet him here, Mr Freeman? Col. Tricked, Mr Tradelove! did not I give you two thousand pounds for your consent fairly? And, now, do you tell a gentleman he has tricked you? Per. So, so, you are a pretty guardian, faith, to sell your charge! what! did you look upon her as part of your stock? Oba. Prim. Ha, ha, ha! I am glad thy knavery is found out, however I confess the maiden over-reached me, and I had no sinister end at all. Per. I am certain I read as plain a lease as ever I read in my life. Col. You read a lease, I grant you; but you signed this contract. [Shewing a paper. Per. How durst you put this trick upon me, Mr Freeman? Did not you tell me my uncle was dying? Free. And would tell you twice as much to serve my friend-ha, ha! Sir Phi. What! the learned and famous Mr Periwinkle choused, too!-Ha, ha, ha !—I shall die with laughing--ha, ha, ha! Oba. Prim. It had been well if her father had left her to wiser heads than thine and mine, friends-ha, ha, ha! Trade. Well, since you have outwitted us all, pray you, what and who are you, sir? Sir Phi. Sir, the gentleman is a fine gentleman. I am glad you have got a person, madam, who understands dress and good-breeding. I was resolved she should have a husband of my Oba. Prim. I am sorry the maiden has fallen into such hands. Per. Ay, ay, one thing or other over-reached you all-but I'll take care he shall never finger a penny of her money, I warrant you-Over-reach-choosing. ed, quoth'a! Why, I might have been over-reached, too, if I had had no more wit: I don't know but this very fellow may be him that was directed to me from Grand Cairo t'other day. Ha, ha, ha! Col. The very same. Per. Are you so, sir? but your trick would not pass upon me. Col. No, as you say, at that time it did not; that was not my lucky hour-but, hark ye, sir, I must let you into one secret-you may keep honest John Tradescant's coat on, for your uncle sir Toby Periwinkle is not dead-so the charge of mourning will be saved-ha, ha, ha! Don't you remember Mr Pillage, your uncle's steward? Ha, ha, ha! Trade. A beau! nay, then, she is finely helped up. Mrs Love. Why, beaux are great encouragers of trade, sir. Ha, ha, ha! Col. Look ye, gentlemen; I am the person who can give the best account of myself; and I must beg sir Philip's pardon, when I tell him, that I have as much aversion to what he calls dress and breeding, as I have to the enemies of my religion, I have had the honour to serve his majesty, and headed a regiment of the bravest fellows that ever pushed bayonet in the throat of a Frenchman; and, notwithstanding the fortune this lady brings me, whenever my country wants my aid, this sword and arm are at her service. Therefore, my dear, if thou'lt but deign to smile, |