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Bland. I do insist.
lashing of a top: it only serves to keep it Lady Rest. If Beverley accepts of her, all my up the longer. suspicions are at an end.
[Aside. Sir John. Very true: and since we have been Bed. Thus, let me take the bright reward of | ALL IN THE WRONG TO-DAY, we will, for the fuall my wishes.
[Takes her hand. ture, endeavour to be ALL IN THE RIGHT. Belin. Since it is over, you have used your Bev. A fair proposal, sir John : we will make authority, sir, to make me happy, indeed. We it our business, both you, who are married, and have both seen our error, and frankly confess we, who are now entering into that state, by that we have been in the wrong, too.
mutual confidence to ensure mutual happiness. Sir Wil. Why, we have all been in the wrong, I think.
The God of Love thinks we profane his fire, Sir John. It has been a day of mistakes, but When trifles, light as air, mistrust inspire. of fortunate ones, conducing at least to the ad But where esteem and generous passions spring, vantage of all parties. My lady Restless will There reigns secure, and waves his purple now be taught
'wing; Lady Rest. Sir John, I hope you will be Gives home-felt peace; prevents the nuptial taught
strife; Bland. Never mention what is past. The
Endears the bliss, and bids it last for life. wrangling of married people about unlucky ques
Ereunt omnes. tions that break out between them, is like the
| John, seroant to OAKLY. OAKLY, unhappy from his wife's jealousy.
Tom, servant to Srr HARRY BEAGLE. MAJOR OAKLY, a bachelor, his brother.
Servant to LADY FREELOVE.
Mrs OAKLY, the Jealous wife.
LADY FREELOVE, a woman of fashion, LORD TRINKET, a córcomb.
HARRIOT, attached to CHARLES. CAPTAIN O'CUTTER, an Irish sea-captain: | Toilet, servant to Mas OAKLY. Paris, l servants to Oakly.
Chambermaid. WILLTAN, S
ACT І. SCENE I.-- A Room in Oakly's House. my tenderness and soft disposition—To be per
petually running over the whole town, nay, the Noise heard within-Mrs OẢkly, within.
whole kingdom, too, in pursuit of your amours ! Don't tell me I know it is so—It's mon- | - Did not I discover that you was great with strous, and I will not bear it.
mademoiselle, my own woman?-Did not you Oak. Within.] But, my dear
contract a shameful familiarity with Mrs FreeMrs Oak. Nay, nay, &c. (Squabbling within. man?--Did not I detect your intrigue with lady
| Wealthy ---Was not youEnter Mrs Oakly, with a letter, OAKLY fol
Oak. Oons! madam, the Grand Turk himself lowing
| has not half so njany mistresses--You throw me Say what you will, Mr Oakly, you shall never out of all patience-Do I know any body but persuade me but this is some filthy intrigue of our common friends?--Am I visited by any body yours.
that does not visit you?-Do I ever go out, unOak. I can assure you, my love!
less you go with me?-And am I not as conMrs Oak. Your love ! -Don't I know your stantly by your side, as if I was tied to your Tell me, I say, this instant, every circumstance | apron-strings? relating to this letter.
Mrs Oak. Go, go; you are a false man Oak. How can I tell you, when you will not Have not I found you out a thousand times? so much as let me see it?
And have not I this moment a letter in my band, Mrs Oak. Look you, Mr Oakly, this usage is which convinces me of your baseness Let not to be borne. You take a pleasure in abusing me know the whole affair, or I will
Oak. Let you know! Let me know what you Mrs Oak. [Rising. --Well, sir - you see I would have of me- You stop my letter before have detected you-Tell me this instant where it comes to my hands, and then expect that I she is concealed. should know the contents of it.
Oak. So-50-50—This hurts me—I'm shockMrs Oak. Heaven be praised! I stopt it-led
(To himself. suspected some of these doings for some time Mrs Oak. What, are you confounded withe past-But the letter informs me who she is, and your guilt? Have I caught you at last? I'll be revenged on her sufficiently. Oh, you Oak. O that wicked Charles ! To decoy a base man, you !
young lady from her parents in the country! The Oak. I beg, my dear, that you would mode profligacy of the young fellows of this age is aber rate your passion Shew me the letter, and I'll minable.
[To himself convince you of my innocence.
Mrs Oak. (Half aside, and musing. Charles! Mrs Oak. Innocence !- Abominable !--Inno- Let me see! Charles ! No! Impossible. This cence !-But I am not to be made such a fool- is all a trick. I am convinced of your perfidy, and very sure | Oak. He has certainly ruined this poor lady. that
To himself Oak. 'Sdeath and fire! your passion hurries Mrs Oak. Art! Art! All art! There's a sud. you out of your senses. Will you hear me ? den turn now! You have ready wit for an in
Mrs Oak. No, you are a base man; and I trigue, I find will not bear you.
Oak. Such an abandoned action! I wish I had Oak. Why, then, my dear, since you will nei- never had the care of him.
(To himself. ther talk reasonably yourself, nor listen to rea-1 Mrs Oak. Mighty fine, Mr Oakly! Go on, son froin me, I shall take my leave till you are sir; go on! I see what you mean. Your assuin a better humour. So, your servant! (Going. rance provokes me beyond your very falsehood
Mrs Oak. Ay, go, you cruel man! Go to itself. So, you imagine, sir, that this affected your mistresses, and leave your poor wife to her concern, this flimsy pretence about Charles, is to iniseries---How unfortunate a woman am I! bring you off ? Matchless confidence! But I am I could die with vexation
armed against every thing—I am prepared for all [Throwing herself into a chair. your dark schemes: I am aware of all your low Oak. There it is-Now dare not I stir a step stratagems. further-If I offer to go, she is in one of her fits Oak. See there, now! Was ever any thing so in an instant-Never, sure, was woman at once provoking? To persevere in your ridiculous of so violent and so delicate a constitution ! For Heaven's sake, my dear, don't distract me! What shall I say to sooth her? Nay, never make When you see my mind thus agitated and uneathyself so uneasy, my dear-Come, come, you sy, that a young fellow, whom his dying father, know I love you. Nay, nay, you shall be con- my own brother, committed to my care, should vinced.
be guilty of such enormous wickedness; I say, Mrs Oak. I know you bate me; and that your when you are witness of my distress on this oc unkindness and barbarity will be the death of casion, how can you be weak enough and cruel me.
(Whining. enough to Oak. Do not vex yourself as this rate- I love Mrs Oak. Prodigiously well, sir! You do it vou most passionately-Indeed, I do—This must very well. Nay, keep it up, carry it on, there's be some mistake.
nothing like going through with it. O you artful Mrs Oak. Oh, I am an unbappy woman! creature! But, sir, I am not to be so casily satis
[Weeping. I fied. I do not believe a syllable of all this Oak. Dry up thy tears, my love, and be com- Give me the letter-Snatching the letter. You forted ! You will find that I am not to blame in shall sorely repent this vile business, for I am rethis matter-Come, let me see this letter-Nas, solved that I will know the bottom of it. you shall not deny me. (Taking the letter.
(Exit Mrs Oak. Mrs Oak. There ! Take it; you know the Oak. This is beyond all patience. Provoking band, I am sure,
woman! Her absurd suspicions interpret every Oak. • To Charles Oakly, esq.'-[Reading.) thing the wrong way. She delights to make me Jland ! 'Tis a clerk-like hand, indeed! A good wretched, because she sees I am attached to her, round text! and was certainly never penned by and conrerts my tenderness and affection into a fair lady,
the instruments of my own torture. But this Mrs Oak. Ay, laugh at me, do!
| ungracious boy! Iu how many troubles will he Oak. Forgive me, my love, I did not mean to involve his own and this lady's family-I never laugh at thee- But what says the letter!--[Read imagined that he was of such abandoned princiing: - Daughter eloped—you must be privy to ples. O, here he comes ! 'it--scandalous--dishonourable-satisfactionó revenge'-um, um, um--' injured father.
Enter Major Oakly and Charles. • Henry Russet.'| Cha. Good-morrow, sir.
M aj. Good-morrow, brother, good-morrow!-! Oak. How can you trifle with my distresses, W hat! You have been at the old work, I find ? .najor? Did not I tell you it was about a letter? I heard you-ding! dong! i'faith! She has rung Mni. A letter! Hum-a suspicious circuma noble peal in your ears. But how now? Why, stance, to be sure! What, and the seal a true sure, you've had a remarkable warm bout on't. lover's knot now, hey?' or an heart transfixed You seem inore ruffled than usual.
with darts; or, possibly, the wax bore the indusOak. I am, indeed, brother! Thanks to that trious impression of a thimble ; or, perhaps, the young gentleman there. Have a care, Charles ! | folds were lovingly connected by a wafer, prickYou may be called to a severe account for this. ed with a pin, and the direction written in a vile The honour of a family, sir, is no such light mat- scrawl, and not a word spelt as it should be; ha, ter.
ha, ha! Cha. Sir!
Oak. Pooh! brother-Whatever it was, the Maj. Hey day? What, has a curtain lecture letter, you find, was for Charles, not for me produced a lecture of morality? What is all this outrageous jealousy is the devil! this?
Maj. Mere matrimonial blessings, and domesOak. To a profligate mind, perhaps, these tic comfort, brother! Jealousy is a certain sign things may appear agreeable in the beginning of love. But don't you tremble at the consequences ? Oak. Love! it is this very love that bath made
Cha. I see, sir, that you are displeased with us both so miserable. Her love for me has conme; but I am quite at a loss to guess at the oc- fined me to my bouse, like a state prisoner, withicasion.
out the liberty of seeing my friends, or the use of Oak. Tell me, sir! Where is Miss Harriot pen, ink, and paper; while my love for her has Russet?
made such a fool of me, that I have never had Cha. Miss Harriot Russet ! Sir-explain the spirit to contradict her.
Oak. Have not you decoyed her from her fa Maj. Ay, ay; there you've hit it; Mrs Oakly ther?
would make an excellent wife, if you did but Cha. I decoyed her ! - Decoyed my Har know how to manage her. riot !—I would sooner die than do her the least Oak. You are a rare fellow, indeed, to talk of injury. What can this mean?
managing a wife! a debauched bachelor! a ratMaj. I believe the young dog has been at hier, tle-brained, rioting fellow--who have picked up after all.
your common-place notions of women in bagņios, Oak. I was in hopes, Charles, you had better taverns, a. J the camp; whose most refined comprinciples. But there's a letter just come from merce with the sex has been in order to delude her father
country girls at your quarters, or to be siege the Cha. A letter! What letter? Dear sir, give it virtue of abigails, milliners, or mantua-maker's me. Some intelligence of my Harriot, major-l'prentices. The letter, sir; the letter this moment, for Hea- Maj. So much the better! So much the betven's sake!
ter ! Women are all alike in the main, brother, Oak. If this warmth, Charles, tends to prove high or low, married or single, quality or no quayour innocence
lity. I have found them so, from a duchess dowa Cha. Dear sir, excuse me,I'll prove any thing to a milk-maid. -Let ine but see this letter, and I'll
Oak. Your savage notions are ridiculous.Oak. Let you see it? I could hardly get a Wbat do you know of a husband's feelings? You, sight of it myself. Mrs Oakly has it.
who comprise all your qualities in your honour, Cha. Has she got it? Major, I'll be with you as you call it! Dead to all sentiments of delicacy, again directly.
[Exit Cha, hastily. and incapable of any but the grossest attachments Maj. Hey-day! The devil's in the boy! What to women. This is your boasted refinement, your a fiery set of people! By my troth, I think the thorough knowledge of the world! While, with whole family is made of nothing but combusti- regard to women, ove poor train of thinking,
one narrow set of ideas, like the uniform of the Oak. I like this emotion. It looks well. It whole regiment, serves the whole corps. may serve, too, to convince my wife of the folly | Maj. Very fine, brother! There's commonof her suspicions. Would to Heaven I could place for you, with a vengeance! Henceforth, quiet them for ever!
expect no quarter from me. I tell you again Maj. Why, pray now, my dear naughty bro- and again, I know the sex better than you do.ther, what heinous offence have you committed | They all love to give themselves airs, and to have this morning ? What new cause of suspicion ? power: every woman is a tyrant at the bottom. You have been asking one of the maids to mend But they could never make a fool of me. No, your ruffle, I suppose, or have been hanging your no! no woman should ever domineer over me, hcad out of window, when a pretty young woman let her be mistress or wife. has past by, or
Oak. Single men can be no judges in these
cases. They must happen in all families. But closet? No, no; these fits, the more care you when things are driven to extremities-to see a take of them, the more you will increase the as woman in uneasiness a woman one loves, toom temper: let them alone, and they will wear one's wife, who can withstand it? You neither themselves out, I warrant you. think nor speak like a man that has loved, and Oak. True-very true-you're certainly in the been married, major!
right-I'll follow your advice. Where do you Maj. I wish I could hear a married man speak | dine to-day? I'll order the coach and go with my language, I'm a bachelor, it's true; but I am you. no bad judge of your case, for all that. I know Maj. O brave ! keep up this spirit, and you're yours, and Mrs Oakly's disposition to a hair.- made for ever. She is all impetuosity and fire-a very magazine Oak. You shall see now, major! Who's there? of touchwood and gunpowder. You are hot enough, too, upon occasion; but then, it's over in
Enter Serdant. an instant. In come love and conjugal affection, as you call it; that is, mere folly and Order the coach directly: I shall dine out to weakness, And you draw off your forces, just day. when you should pursue the attack, and follow' Ser. The coach, sir! Now, sir ! your advantage. Have at her with spirit, and Oak. Ay, now, immediately. the day's your own, brother!
Ser. Now? Sir!-the-the-coach ! Sir ! Oak. I tell you, brother, you mistake the mat- that is my mistresster. Sulkiness, fits, tears! These, and such as Oak. Sirrah! Do as vou're bid. Bid them put these, are the things which make a feeling man to this instant. uneasy. Her passion and violence have not half! Ser. Ye-yes, sir-yes, sir. [Exit Ser. such an effect on me.
Oak. Well, where shall we dine? Maj. Why, then, you may be sure, she'll play Maj. At the St Alban's, or where you will.that upon you, which she finds does most execu- This is excellent, if you do but hold it. tion. But you must be proof against every thing. Oak. I will have my own way, I am deterIf she's furious, set passion against passion; if mined. you find her at her tricks, play off art against art, Maj. That's right. and foil her at ber own weapons. That's your Oak. I am steel. game, brother!
Maj. Bravo! Oak. Why, what would you have me do? Oak. Adamant.
Maj. Do as you please, for one month, whe Maj. Bravissimo! ther she likes it or not; and, I'll answer for it, Oak. Just what you'd have me. she will consent you shall do as you please all Maj. Why, that's well said. But will you do her life after.
it? Oak. This is fine talking. You do not consi Oak. I will. der the difficulty that
Maj. You won't. Maj. You must overcome all difficulties. As Oak. I will. I'll be a fool to her no longer.sert your right boldly, man! Give your own or- | But, bark ye, major ! my hat and sword lie in ders to servants, and see they observe thein; my study. I'll go and steal them out, while she read your own letters, and never let her have a ) is busy talking with Charles. sight of them; make your own appointments, Maj. Steal them! for shame! prithee, take and never be persuaded to break them; see them boldly, call for them, make them bring what company you like; go out when you please; them to you here, and go out with spirit, in the return when you please; and don't suffer yourself | face of your whole family. to be called to account where you have been.- Oak. No, no-you are wrong-let her rare afIn short, do but shew yourself a man of spirit, ter I am gone; and, when I return, you know, I leave off whining about love, and tenderness, and shall exert myself with more propriety, after this noirsense, and the business is done, brother! open affront to her authority.
Oak. I believe you are in the right, major ! Il Maj. Well, take your own way. see you're in the right. I'll do it; I'll certainly Oak. Ay, ay-let me manage it; let me mado it. But, then, it hurts me to the soul, to nage it.
[Exit OAK. think what uneasiness I shall give her. The first Maj. Manage it! Ay, to be sure, you are a opening of my design will throw her into fits, and rare manager! It is dangerous, they say, to the pursuit of it, perhaps, may be fatal.
meddle between man and wife. I am no great Maj. Fits ! Ha, ha, ha! Fits! I'll engage to favourite of Mrs Oakly's already; and, in a cure her of her fits. Nobody understands hys-week's time, I expect to have the door shut in terical cases better than I do: besides, my sister's my teeth. symptoms are not very dangerous. Did you ever hear of her falling into a fit when you was not
Enter CHARLES. by? Was she ever found in convulsions in her How now, Charles, what news?