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O'Fla. O ho! you begin to smell a plot, do, 'Tis a night of wonderful and surprising ups at you?
downs: I wish we were all fairly set down Stork. Suppose there should be a paper in the supper, and there was an end on't. world that runs thus— I do hereby give and Stock. Hold for a moment! I have yet er
bequeath all my estates, real and personal, to word to interpose- Entitled, by my friends * Charles Dudley, son of my late daughter, Lou- to a voice in your disposal, I have approved For isa,' &c. &c. &c.
match : there yet remains a father's consent to Lady Rus. Why, I am thunderstruck! By be obtained. what contrivance, what villainy, did you get pos Bel. Have I a father session of that paper?
Stock. You have a father : did not I tell you Stock. There was no villainy, madam, in get- I had a discovery to make? Compose yourses ting possession of it: the crime was in conceal- you have a father, who observes, who knows ing it, none in bringing it to light.
who loves you. Lady Rus. Oh, that cursed lawyer, Varland! | Bel. Keep me no longer in suspense! m
O'Fla. You may say that, faith! he is a cursed heart is softened for the affectiog discovery, sad lawyer, and a cursed piece of work I had to get nature fits me to receive his blessing. the paper from him. Your ladyship now was to Stock, I am your father. have paid him five thousand pounds for it-I for Bel. My father! Do I live? ced him to give it me of his own accord, for no Stock. I am your father. thing at all, at all.
Bel. It is too much; my happiness overpowers Lady Rus. Is it you that have done this? Am me: to gain a friend, and find a father, is to I foiled by your blundering contrivances, after much: I blush to think how little I deserve you all?
[They embrace OʻFla. 'Twas a blunder, faith, but as natural Dud. See, children, how many new relations a one as if I bad made it o' purpose.
spring from this night's unforeseen events, to eCha. Come, let us not oppress the fallen; do dear us to each other. right even now, and you shall have no cause to O'Fla. Omy conscience, I think we shall be complain.
| all related by and by. Lady Rus, Am I become an object of your Stock. How happily has this evening cospity, then? Insufferable ! Confusion light amongst cluded, and yet how threatening was its apyou ! Marry and be wretched : let me never see proach! Let us repair to the supper-room, wbere you more.
[Exit. I will unfold to you every circumstance of my Char. She is outrageous; I suffer for her, and mysterious story. Yes, Belcour, I have watched blusb to see her thus exposed.
you with a patient, but inquiring eye ; and I have Cha. Come, Charlotte, don't let this angry discovered, through the veil of some irregulariwoman disturb our happiness : we will save her ties, a heart beaming with benevolence, an aniin spite of herself; your father's memory shall mated nature, fallible, indeed, but not incorrignot be stained by the discredit of his second ble; and your election of this excellent young choice.
lady makes me glory in acknowledging you to be Char. I trust implicitly to your discretion, my son. and am in all things yours.
"Bel. I thank you—and, in niy turn, glors in Bel. Now, lovely but obdurate, does not this the father I have gained : sensibly imprest with example soften?
gratitude for such extraordinary dispensations, I Lou. What can you ask for more? Accept my beseech you, amiable Louisa, for the time to hand, accept my willing heart.
come, whenever you perceive me deviating into Bel. () bliss unutterable! brother, father, error or offence, bring only to my mind the Profriend, and you, the author of this general joy- | vidence of this night, and I will turn to reason. O'Fla. Blessings of St Patrick upon us all!' and obey.
SHE STOOPS TO CONQUER:
THE MISTAKES OF A NIGHT.
Mrs HARDCASTLE, affecting the airs of fashion. Young MARLOW, his son.
Miss HARDCASTLE, her duughter. HARDCASTLE, an old country gentleman. Miss NEVILLE, her niece, attached to HASTINGS. HASTINGS, friend to YOUNG MARLOW.
Maid. TONY LUMPKIX, a country booby.
Landlord, servants, &c. DIGGORY, butler to HARDCASTLE.
Scene-An English county; chiefly Me HARDCASTLE's house.
SCENE I.. A chamber in an old-fashioned among us; but now, they travel faster than a
stage-coach. Its fopperies come down, not only
as inside passengers, but in the very basket. Enter Mrs HARDCASTLE and Mr HarDCASTLE
Mrs Hard. Ay, your times were fine times,
indeed: you have been telling us of them for Mrs Hard. I vow, Mr Hardcastle, you're very | many a long year. Here we live in an old rumparticular. Is there a creature in the whole bling mansion, that looks for all the world like, country, but ourselves, that does not take a trip an inn, but that we never see company. Our bust to town now and then, to rub off the rust a little! visitors are old Mrs Oddish, the curate's wite There's the two Miss Hoggs, and our neighbour, and little Cripplegate, the lame dancing master; Mrs Grigsby, go to take a month's polishing eve- and all our entertainment your old stories of ry winter.
Prince Eugene and the duke of Marlboroug. I Hord. Ay, and bring back vanity and affecta- bate such old-fashioned trumpery. tion to last them the whole year. I wonder Hard. And I love it. I love every thing that's why London cannot keep its own fools at home. old: old friends, old times, old manners, old In my time, the follies of the town crept slowly books, old wine; and, I believe, Dorothy, (To
king her hand.) you'll own I have been pretty geons expects me down every moment. There's fond of an old wife.
some fun going forward. Mrs Hard, Lord, Mr Hardcastle, you're for | Hard. Ay—the ale-house, the old place: I ever at your Dorothy's, and your old wife's. You thought so. may be a Darby, but I'll be no Joan, I promise Mrs Hard. A low, paltry set of fellows. you. I'm not so old as you'd make me by more Tony. Not so low neither. There's Da than one good year. Add twenty to twenty, and Muggins, the exciseman, Jack Slang, the borse make money of that.
doctor, Little Aminadab, that grinds the meer Hard. Let me see-twenty added to twenty, box, and Tom Twist, that spins the pewter plu makes just fifty and seven.
ter. Mrs Hard. Its false, Mr Hardcastle : I was Mrs Hard. Pray, my dear, disappoint thes but twenty when I was brought to bed of Tony, for one night at least ! that I had by Mr Lumpkin, my first husband: Tony. As for disappointing them, I should not and he's not come to years of discretion yet. . so much mind; but I can't abide to disappous
Hard. Nor ever will, I dare answer for him. myself. Ay, you have taught him finely.
Mrs Hard. (Detaining him.] You shan't gn. Mrs Hard. No matter, Tony Lumpkin has a Tony. I will, I tell you. good fortune. My son is not to live by his learn Mrs Hard. I say, you shan't. ing. I don't think a boy wants much learning to Tony. We'll see which is strongest, you or I spend fifteen hundred a year.
(Erit, hawling her at. · Hard. Learning, quotha ! a mere composition Hard. Ay, there goes a pair that only spos of tricks and mischief.
each other. But is not the whole age in a coMrs Hard. Humour, my dear: nothing but bination to drive sense and discretion out di humour. Come, Mr Hardcastle, you inust allow doors? There's my pretty darling Kate; the fathe boy a little humour.
shions of the times have almost infected ber, toe. Hard. I'd sooner allow him an horse-pond. If | By living a year or two in town, she is as burning the footmen's shoes, frighting the maids, | fond of gauze, and French frippery, as the best worrying the kittens, be humour, he has it. It of them. was but yesterday he fastened my wig to the back of my chair, and when I went to make a
Enter Miss HARDCASTLE. bow, I popt my bald head in Mrs Frizzle's face. Blessings on my pretty innocence !Drexi
Mrs Hard. And am I to blame? The poor out as usual, my Kate. Goodness! What a hoy was always too sickly to do any good. A quantity of superfluous silk hast thou got abnat school would be his death. When he comes to thee, girl! I could never teach the fools of the be a little stronger, who knows what a year or age, that the indigent world could be clothed out two's Latin may do for him?
of the trimınings of the vain. Hard. Latin for him! A cat and a fiddle. Miss Hard. You know our agreement, sir.No, no; the ale-house and the stable are the only You allow me the morning to receive and per schools he'll ever go to.
visits, and to dress in my own manner; and, in Mirs Hard. Well, we must not snub the poor the evening, I put on my housewife's dress to boy now, for I believe we shan't have him long please you. among us. Any body that looks in his face may | Hard. Well, remember, I insist on the termos see he's consumptive.
of our agreement; and, by the by, I believe I Hard. Ay, if growing too fat be one of the shall have occasion to try your obedience this symptoms.
very evening. Mrs Hard. He coughs sometimes.
Miss Hard. I protest, sir, I don't comprehend Hard. Yes, when his liquor goes the wrong your meaning. way.
Hard. Then, to be plain with you, Kate, I erMrs Hard. I'm actually afraid of his lungs. pect the youny gentleman, I have chosen to be
Hard. And truly so am I; for he sometines your husband, froin town this very day. I have whoops like a speaking trumpet-[Tony hallooing his father's letter, in which he informs me his son behind the scenes.]—0 there he goes !-A very is set out, and that he intends to follow himself consumptive figure, truly!
Miss Hard. Indeed! I wish I had known Enter Tony, crossing the stage.
something of this before! Bless me, how shall I Mrs Hard. Tony, where are you going, my behave? It is a thousand to one I shan't like him; charmer? Won't you give papa and I a little of our meeting will be so formal, and so like a thing your company, lovee?"
of business, that I shall find no room for friendTony. I'm in haste, mother; I cannot stay. ship or esteem.
Mrs Hard. You shan't venture out this raw Hard. Depend upon it, child, I'll never conevening, my dear: You look most shockingly. troul your choice : but Mr Marlow, whom I
Tony. I can't stay, I tell you. The Three Pi- have pitched upon, is the son of my old friend
sir Charles Marlow, of whom you have heard me | happened among the canary birds, or the gold talk so often. The young gentleman has been fishes. Has your brother or the cat been medbred a scholar, and is designed for an employ-dling? Or has the last novel been too moving? ment in the service of his country. I am told | Miss Hard. No; nothing of all this. I have he's a man of an excellent understanding. been threatened—I can scarce get it out— I have Miss Hard. Is he?
been threatened with a lover. Hard. Very generous.
Miss Nev. And his nameMiss Hard. I believe I shall like him.
Miss Hard. Is Marlow. Hard. Young and brave.
Miss Neo. Indeed! Miss Hard. I'm sure I shall like him.
Miss Hard. The son of sir Charles Marlow. Hard. And very handsome.
Miss Neo. As I live, the most intimate friend Miss Hard. My dear papa, say no more [kiss-of Mr Hastings, my admirer! They are never ing his hand.); he's mine, I'll have him.
| asunder. I believe you must have seen bira Hard. And, to crown all, Kate, he's one of when we lived in town. the most bashful and reserved young fellows in Miss Hard. Never. all the world.
Miss Ned. He's a very singular character, I Miss Hard. Eh! you have frozen me to death assure you. Among women of reputation and again. That word, reserved, has undone all the virtue, he is the modestest man alive; but his rest of his accomplishments. A reserved lover, acquaintance give him a very different character it is said, always makes a suspicious husband. anong creatures of another stamp: you under
Hard. On the contrary, modesty seldom resides in a breast that is not enriched with nobler Miss Hard. An odd character, indeed! I shall virtues. It was the very feature in his charac- never be able to manage him. What shall I do? ter that first struck me.
Pshaw, think no more of him, but trust to occurMiss Hard. He must have more striking fea- | rences for success. But how goes on your own tures to catch me, I promise you. However, if affair, my dear? bas my mother been courting you he be so young, so handsome, and so every thing, for my brother Tony, as usual? as you mention, I believe he'll do still. I think Miss Neo. I have just come from one of our I'll have him.
agreeable tete-a-tetes. She has been saying a Hard. Ay, Kate, but there is still an obstacle. | hundred tender things, and setting off her pretty It's more than an even wager he may not have monster as the very pink of perfection.
Miss Hard. And her partiality is such, that Miss Hard. My dear papa, why will you mor- she actually thinks him so. A fortune like yours tify one so-Well, if he refuses, instead of is no small temptation. Besides, as she has the breaking my heart at his indifference, I'll only sole management of it, I'm not surprised to see break my glass for its flattery; set my cap to her unwilling to let it go out of the family. some newer fashion, and look out for some less Miss Nev. A fortune like mine, which chiefly difficult adınirer.
consists in jewels, is no such mighty temptation. Hard. Bravely resolved ! In the mean time, But, at any rate, if my dear Hastings be but conI'll go prepare the servants for his reception. As stant, I make no doubt to be too hard for her at we seldom see company, they want as much last. However, I let her suppose that I am in training as a company of recruits, the first day's love with her son, and she never once dreams muster.
(Erit. that my affections are fixed upon another. Miss Hard. Lud! this news of papa's puts me Miss Hard. My good brother holds out stoutall in a flutter. Young, handsome! these he put ly. I could almost love him for hating you so. last; but I put them foremost. Sensible, good- Miss Nev. It is a good natured creature at natured; I like all that. But then reserved, and bottom, and I'ın sure would wish to see me marsheepish ! that's much against hiin. Yet can't he ried to any body but himself. But my aunt's be cured of his timidity, by being taught to be bell rings for our afternoou's walk round the im- · proud of his wife? Yes, and can't 1-But I vow provements. Allons! Courage is necessary, as our I'm disposing of the husband, before I have affairs are critical. secured the lover.
Miss Hard. Would it were bed time, and all were well!
[Exeunt. Enter Miss NEVILLE.
• SCENE II.-An alehouse room. I'm glad you're come, Neville, my dear. Tell sne, Constance, how do I look this evening! Is Several shabby fellows, with punch and tobacco. there any thing whimsical about me? Is it one
Tony at the head of the table, a little higher of my well looking days, child? Am I in face
than the rest : A mallet in his hand. to day?
Miss Nev. Perfectly, my dear. Yet now I Omnes. Hurrea, hurrea, hurrea! bravo! look again---bless me sure no accident bas 1st Fel. Now, gentlemen, silence for a song.
The 'Squire is going to knock himself down for a winding the streight bons, or bearing a star song
for a hare, or a wench, he ser inades Omnes. Ay, a song, a song !
lor. It was a saying in the place, dar de Tony. Then I'll sing you, gentlemen, a song the best horses, dogs, and pris the wu I made upon this ale-house, the Three Pigeons. county.
Tony. Ecod, and when Fe of ye, nie SOSG. bastard, I promise you I have been
Bett Bouncer and the miller's grey mire Let school-matters puzzle their brain,
gin with. Bat come, my bogs, drink aboL With grammar, end nonsense, and learning; be merry, for you pay B reckone Good liquor, i stently maintain,
Stingo, what's the matter?
1 Land. There be two gentlemea in a péThey're all but a parcel of Pigeons.
chaise at the door. They have lost her a Toroddle, totoddle, toroll ! | upon the forest; and they are talking some
about Mr Hardcastle. When Methodist preachers come down,
Tony. As sure as can be, one of them ar A preaching that drinking is sinful,
the gentleman that's owning down to cart » l'u tager the rascals a crown,
sister. Do they seem to be Londoners? They always preach best with a skinful. | Land. I beliere they may. They look woBut when you come down with your pence, dily like Frenchmen. For a slice of their scuroy religion,
Tony. Then desire them to step this was, and I'll leave it to all men of sense,
I'll set them right in a twinkling. Ent la But you my good friends are the Pigeon. lord.] Gentlemen, as they say'at be good emes Toroddle, toroddle, toroll! company for you, step down for a moment,
I'll be with you in the squeezing of a lemon Then come, put the jorum about,
[Ererat He And let us be merry and clever,
Father-in-law has been calling me oben Our hearts and our liquors are stout,
and bound, this half year. Now, if I pleased. I Here's the Three Jolly Pigeons for coer! could be so revenged upon the old grumbletamise Let some cry up woodcock or hare,
But, then, I'ın afraid-afraid of what! I den Your bustards, your ducks, and your widgeons; soon be worth fifteen bundred a-year, and is But of all the birds in the air,
him frighten me out of that, if he can. Here's a health to the Three Jolly Pigeons ! Toroddle, toroddle, toroll!
Enter LANDLORD, conducting MARLOT
HASTINGS. Omnes. Bravo, bravo! 1st Fel. The 'Squire has got spunk in him. Mar. What a tedious uncomfortable day hare
2d Fel. I loves to hear him sing, bekeays be we had of it! We were told it was but forty mie never gives us nothing that's low.
across the country, and we have come above 3d Fel. O, damn any thing that's low! I can threescore. not bear it.
Hast. And all, Marlow, from that unaccount4th Fel. The genteel thing is the genteel thing able reserve of yours, that would not let as it at any time. If so be that a gentleman bees inquire more frequently on the way. a concatenation accordingly.
Mar. I own, Hastings, I am unwilling to lay 3d Fel. I like the maxum of it, Master Mug- | myself under an obligation to every one I meet; gins. What though I am obligated to dance a and often stand the chance of an unmannerly bear, a man may be a gentleman for all that. answer. May this be my poison, if my bear ever dances Hast. At present, however, we are not likely but to the very genteelest of tunes ! Water to receive any answer. Parted, or the minuet in Ariadne.
| Tony. No offence, gentlemen. But I'm told 2d Fel. What a pity it is the 'squire is not you have been inquiring for one Mr Hardcastie, come to his own ! It would be well for all the in these parts. Do you know what part of the publicans within ten miles round of him.
country you are in? * Tony. Ecod, and so it would, Master Slang. Hast. Not in the least, sir; but should thank I'd then shew what it was to keep choice of com- you for information. pany.
Tony. Nor the way you came? 2d Fel. () he takes after his own father for Hast. No, sir; but if you can inform usthat. To be sure,' old 'squire Lumpkin was the Tony. Why, gentlemen, if you know neither finest gentleman I ever set my eyes on. For the road you are going, nor where you are, dar