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dam: come here, you come here, captain - Lee. So there is, madam; and Mr Tom There, there is Miss Walsingham's hand for you. to whose goodness I am infiniteir obliged,
Con. And as pretty a little fist it is, as any in tell you some diverting aneodotes that would the three kingdoms.
| rich a comedy considerably. Gen. Sat. Torrington shall settle the fortune. Con. Ay, faith, and a tragedy, too! Lee. I give you joy, most heartily, madam. Tor. I can tell nothing but what will redoak Bel. We all give her joy.
to the credit of your character, young man Capt. Sav. Mine is beyond the power of ex- Bel. The day has been a busy one, thesis >> pression.
the communicative disposition of the captain Miss Wal. Aside to the company.) And so is Mrs Bel. And the evening should be cher the general's, I believe.
Bel. I shan't, therefore, part with one of Con. O, faith, that may be easily seen, by the till we have had a hearty laugh at our geaca sweetness of his countenance.
Tor. Well, the cause being now, at last, de- Miss Wal. They have been rery whimsiz termined, I think we may all retire from the indeed; yet, if represented on the stage, I bar court.
they would be found not only entertaining to Gen. Sad. And without any great credit, I instructire. fear, to the general.
Lady Rach. Instructive ! why the bodenec Con. By my soul, you may say that!
tics say, that the only business of comedy s Mrs Tem. Do you murmur, sir? Come this make people laugh. moment bome with me.
Bel. That is degrading the dignity of letters Gen. Sat. I'll go any where to hide this mi- exceedingly, as well as lessening the ouality of te serable head of mine : what a damned campaign stage. A good comedy is a capital effort of have I made of it!
nius, and should, therefore, be directed to se [Ereunt GENERAL SAVAGE and MRS noblest purposes. TEMPEST.
Miss Wal. Very true; and unless ve lens Con. Upon my soul, if I was in the general's something while we chuckle, the carpenter, whe place, I would divide the house with this devil; nails a pantomime together, will be entitled to I would keep within doors myself, and make her more applau se, than the best comic poet in the take the outside.
[Excuri a Lady Rach. Here's more food for a comedy.
SCENE I.-A street in Bath. | mind to gi't the slip, and whip! we were all off
at an hour's warning. Coachman crosses the stage-Enter Fac, looking
Fag. Ay, ay! hasty in every thing, or it would after him.
not be sir Anthony Absolute. Fag. What! Thomas! Sure 'tis he ?-What! Coach. But tell us, Mr Fag, how does young Thomas ! Thomas !
master? Odd! sir Anthony will stare to see the Coach. Hey! Odds life! Mr Fag! give us captain here! your hand, my old fellow-servant.
Fag. I do not serve captain Absolute now, Fag. Excuse my glove, Thomas !—I'm devilish Coach. Why, sure! glad to see you, my lad: why, my prince of cha- Fag. At present I am employed by ensign Berioteers, you look as hearty! But who the deuce verley. thought of seeing you in Bath!
| Coach. I doubt, Mr Fag, you ha'n't changed Coach. Sure, master, Madam Julia, Harry, for the better. Mrs Kate, and the postillion, be all come,
Fag. I have not changed, Thomas. Fag. Indeed!
Coach. No! why, didn't you say you had left Coach. Av! Master thought another fit of the young master! gout was coming to make him a visit; so he'd al Fag. No. Well, honest Thomas, I must puzzle you no farther-briefly then–Captain Absolute | polish a little; indeed you must- Here and ensign Beverley are one and the same per- this wig! what the devil do you do we are son.
Thomas? none of the London whips of my Coach. The devil they are !
gree of ton wear wigs now. Fag. So it is indeed, Thomas; and the en Coach. More's the pity! more's the pit. I sign-balf of my master being on guard at pre-say! Odd's life! when I beard how the bros sent- the captain has nothing to do with me. and doctors bad took to their own hasr, I thadi
Coach. So, so! wbat, this is some freak, I how 'twould go next: Odd rabbit «! tena warrant! Do tell us, Mr Fag, the meaning o'tml fashion had got foot on the bar, I guessed you know I ha' trusted you.
mount to the box! but 'tis all out of dance, Fag. You'll be secret, Thomas?
believe me, Mr Fay: and look'ee, 17 ms Coach. As a coach-horse.
up mine; the lawyers and doctors mares Fag. Why, then, the cause of all this is- | they will. love-love, Thomas, who (as you may get read to Fag. Well, Thomas, we'll not quarre shirt you) has been a masquerader ever since the days that. of Jupiter,
Coach. Why, bless you, the gentlemen of the Coach. Ay, ay; I guessed there was a lady in professions ben't all of a mind; for, in care the case : but pray, why does your master pass lage now, thof Jack Gauge, the excisemes, is only for ensign? now, if he had shammed ge- ta'en to his carrots, there's little Dick, the for neral indeed
rier, swears he'll never forsake bis bob, thered Fay. Ah! Thomas, there lies the mystery of all the college should appear with the on the matter. Hark'e, Thomas; my master is in heads! love with a lady of a very singular taste : a lady, Fag. Indeed! well said, Dick! bat bulb who likes him better as a half-pay ensign, than mark! mark! Thornas. if she knew he was son and heir to sir Anthony Coach. Zooks ! 'tis the captain! Is that Absolute, a baronet of three thousand a-year. lady with him?
Coach. That is an odd taste indeed !--but has Fag. No, no! that is madam Lucy, DF E she got the stuff, Mr Fag? is she rich, hey? ter's mistress's maid. They lodge at that box
Fag. Rich! why, I believe she owas half the But I must after him, to tell hin the news stocks! Zounds! Thomas, she could pay the na- Coach. Odd! he's giving her money! wel tional debt as easily as I could my washerwoman! Mr FagShe has a lap-dog that eats out of gold; she Fag. Good by, Thomas ! I have an appena feeds her parrot with small pearls; and all her ment in Gyde's Porch this evening at eigbat, s thread papers are made of bank-notes !
me there, and we'll make a little partv. Coach. 'Bravo! faith! Odd! I warrant she
(Ertunt screan has a set of thousands at least : but does she draw kindly with the captain ? Fag. As fond as pigeons.
SCENE II.-A dressing-room in Mas MalaCoach. May one hear her name?
Prop's lodgings. Fag. Miss Lydia Languish. But there is an LYDIA sitting on a sopha, with a book in her old tough aunt in the way; though, by the by,
hand. she has never seen my master; for he got acquainted with miss while on a visit in Glouces
Enter Lucy, as just returned from a messege. tershire.
Coach. Well, I wish they were once harnessed | Lucy. Indeed, ma'am, I traversed half the together in matrimony. But pray, Mr Fag, what town in search of it: I don't believe there's a kind of a place is this Bath? I ha' heard a deal circulating library in Bath I ha'n't been at. of it; here's a mort o' merry making-hey?
Lydia. And could not you get « The Reward Fag. Pretty well, Thomas, pretty well ; 'tis al of Constancy?" good lounge: In the morning we go to the pump- Lucy. No, indeed, ma'am. room (though neither my master nor I drink the Lydia. Nor The Fatal Connection? waters); after breakfast, we saunter on the pa- Lucy. No, indeed, ma'am. rades, or play a game at billiards; at night we Lydia. Nor • The Mistakes of the fleart." dance: but damn the place, l'ın tired of it; their Lucy. Ma'am, as ill luck would have it, Mr regular bours stupify me! not a fiddle nor a card | Bull said Miss Sukey Saunter had just fetched it after eleven! however, Mr Faulkland's gentle away. . man and I keep it up a little in private parties. Lydia. Heigh-ho!–Did you inquire for "The I'll introduce you there, Thomas; you'll like him Delicate Distress? much.
Lucy. - Or, « The Memoirs of Lady Coach, Sure I know Mr Du-Peigu; you know Woodford ? Yes indeed, ma'am. I asked every his master is to marry madam Julia.
where for it; and I might have brought it from Fag. I had forgot. But, Thomas, you must Mr Frederick's; but lady Slattern Lounger, whe
| just sent it bome, had so soiled and dog's-1 known to him-But it is a Delia or a Celia, I ed it, it wa'n't fit for a christian to read. assure you ! Lydia. Heigh-ho!-Yes, I always know when Julia. Then, surely, she is now more induldy Slattern has been before me. She has a gent to her niece? st observing thumb; and, I believe, cherisbes Lydia. Quite the contrary. Since she has dis· pails for the convenience of making marginal covered her own frailty, she is become more sustes. Well, child, what have you brought ine? picious of mine. Then I must inform you of Lucy. Oh! here, ma'am.
another plague! That odious Acres is to be in [Taking books from under her cloak, and Bath to-day; so that I protest I shall be teased from her pockets.
out of all spirits! is is The Gordian Knot,' and this Pere Julia. Come, come, Lydia, hope for the best. ne Pickle. Here are · The Tears of Sensibi Sir Anthony shall use his interest with Mrs May,' and · Humphrey Clinker.' This is “The laprop. einoirs of a Lady of Quality, written by her Lydia. But you have not heard the worst : If,' and here the second volume of The Sen Unfortunately I had quarrelled with my poor nental Journey.'
Beverley, just before my aunt made the disLydia. Heigh-ho! What are those books by covery, and I have not seen him since, to make e glass?
it up. Lucy. The great one is only « The Whole Julia. What was bis offence? uty of Man,' where I press a few blonds, Lydia. Nothing at all! But, I don't know how
it was, as often as we had been together, we had Lydia. Very well. Give me the sal volatile. never had a quarrel : And, somehow, I was afraid Lucy. Is it in a blue cover, ma'am ?
he would never give me an opportunity. So, last Lydia. My smelling bottle, you simpleton ! Thursday, I wrote a letter to myself, to inform Lucy. O, the drops! here, ma'am.
myself that Beverley was at that time paying his Lydia. Hold ! here's some one coming-quick, addresses to another woman. I signed it Your pe who it is
Erit Lucy, Friend Unknown,' shewed it to Beverley, charged urely I heard my cousin Julia's voice!
him with his falsehood, put myself in a violent
passion, and vowed I'd never see him more. Re-enter Lucy.
Julia. And you let hiin depart so, and have Lucy. Lud! ma'am, here is Miss Melville ! not seen him since? Lydia. Is it possible?
Lydia. 'Twas the next day my aunt found the
matter out. I intended only to have teased him Enter Julsa.
three days and a half, and now I've lost him for
ever. My dearest Julia, how delighted am I! [Em Julia. If he is as deserving and sincere as you vrace.] How unexpected was this happiness! have represented him to me, he will never give
Julia. True, Lydia; and our pleasure is the you up so. Yet consider, Lydia; you tell ine be reater; but what has been the matter? You is but an ensign, and you have thirty thousand were denied to me at first!
pounds! Lydia. Ah, Julia, I have a thousand things to Lydia. But you know I lose most of my fortell you ! but first inform me what has conjured tune if I marry without my aunt's consent, till of you to Bath? Is sir Anthony here?
age, and that is what I have determined to do, Julia. He is; we are arrived within this hour; ever since I knew the penalty. Nor could I love and, I suppose, he will be here to wait on Mrs the man, who would wish to wait a day for the Malaprop as soon as he is dressed.
alternative. Lydia. Then, before we are interrupted, let | Julia. Nay, this is caprice! me impart to you some of my distress! I know Lydia. What, does Julia tax me with caprice? your gentle nature will sympathize with me, I thought her lover Faulkland had inured her though your prudence may condemn me: My to it. letters have informed you of my whole connec-| Julia. I do not love even his faults. tion with Beverley--but I have lost him, Julia! Lydia. But apropos! you have sent to him, I My aunt has discovered our intercourse, by a suppose? note she intercepted, and has contined me ever Julia. Not yet, upon my word! nor has he the since. Yet, would you believe it? she has fallen least idea of my being in Bath. Sir Anthony's absolutely in love with a tall Irish baronet she resolution was so sudden, I could not inform him met one night since we have been here, at lady of it. Macshuffle's rout.
Lydia. Well, Julia, you are your own mistress, Julia. You jest, Lydia?
(though under the protection of sir Anthony) yet Lydia. No, upon my word! She really carries have you, for this long year, been a slave io the on a kind of correspondence with him, under a caprice, the whim, the jealousy of this ungrateful feigned name though, till she chooses to be Fauthland, who will ever delay assuming the Vol. II.
rights of a husband, while you suffer him to be to Faolkland. There-through sy room equally imperious as a lover.
find another stair-case. Julia. Nay, you are wrong entirely. We were Julia. Adieu !- Endrece) contracted before my father's death. That, and
Ers some consequent embarrassments, have delayed 1 Lydia. Here, my dear Locy, bite these song what I know to be my Faulkland's most ardent Quick, quick! Fling Peregrine Pale aces wish. He is too generous to trifle on such a toilet-throw Roderick Random into the sea point. And, for his character, von wrong him -put the Innocent Adultery inta de there, too. No, Lydia, he is too pruud, too noble Duty of Man-thrust Lord Lind e to be jealous; if he is captious, ' 'tis without dis sopha-cramn Ovid behind the bolstersembling; if fretful, without rudeness. Unused put the Man of Feeling into voor pockets to the fopperies of love, he is negligent of the bow, lay Mrs Chapone in sight, and lewe in little duties expected froin a lover-but being dyce's Sermons open on the table. unhackneyed in the passion, his affection is ar Lucy. O burn it! Madam, the hairdress dent and sincere ; and, as it engrosses his whole torn away as far as Proper Prde. soal, be expects every thought and emotion of Lydia. Never mind-open at Sobrier. E his mistress to more in unison with his. Yet, me Lord Chesterfield's Letters. Now for though his pride calls for this full return, his humility makes hitu uoden alue those qualities in
in Enter Mrs MALAPROP, and Sir ASTRONT I him, which would entitle him to it; and, not feel
SOLLTE. ing why he should be loved to the degree he Mrs Mal. There, sir Anthony, there is wishes, he still suspects that he is not loved deliberate simpleton, who wants to diserce is enough. This temper, I must own, has cost me family, and lavish herself on a fellow not se many unhappy hours; but I have learned to a shilling. think myself his debtor, for those imperfe 'tions Lydia. Madam, I thought you oncewhich arise from the ardour of his attachment. Mrs Mal. You thought, miss! I don't kn
Lydia. Well, I cannot blame you for defend- any business you have to think at all Torre ing him. But, tell me candidly, Julia, had he does not become a young woman. But the pro never saved your life, do you think you should we would request of you is, that you will per have been attached to him as you are? Believe to forget this fellow- to illiterate him, Is me, the rude blast, that overset your boat, was a quite from your memory. prosperous gale of love to him.
Lydia. Ah, madam ! our memories are inte Julia. Gratitude may have strengthened my pendent of our wills. It is not easy to forget attachment to Mr Faulkland, but I loved him be Mrs Mal. But I say it is, miss; there is 3* fore he had preserved me; yet, surely, that alone thing on earth so easy as to forget, if a perso were an obligation sufficient
chooses to set about it. I'm sure I base Lydia Obligation! Why, a water-spaniel inuch forgot your poor dear uncle, as if be tener would have done as much ! Well, I should never never existed--and I thought it my duty sp think of giving my heart to a man, because he do; and let me tell you, Lydia, these violeat ze could swim!
mories don't become a young woman. Julia. Come, Lydia, you are too inconside- Sir Anth. Why, sure she won't pretend to rate.
meinber what she's ordered not! Ay, thus cxce Lydia. Nay, I do but jest. What's here? of her reading!
Lydia. What crime, madam, bare I commis Enter Lucy, in a hurry.
ted to be treated thus? Lucy. O, madam, here is sir Anthony Abso-1 Mrs Jal. Now, don't attempt to extirpx lute just come home with your aunt!
yourself from the matter; you know I bave praf Lydia. They'll not come here. Lucy, do you controvertibie of it. But tell me, will you pro watch.
[Erit LUCY. mise to do as you are bid? Will you take a beJulia. Yet I must go. Sir Anthony does not band of your friends' choosing? know I am here, and if we meet, he'll detain Lydia. Madam, I must tell you plainlr, the me, to shew me the town. I'll take another op had I no preference for any oue else, the choror portunity of paving my respects to Mrs Mala- | you have inade would be my aversion prop, when she sball treat me, as long as she | Mrs Val. What business have you, niiss, with chooses, with her select words so ingeniously preference and aversion? They don't become a misapplied, without being mispronounced. young woman; and you ought to know, that, 22
both always wear off, 'tis safest in matrimony to Re-enter Lucy.
begin with a little aversion. I'm sure I bated Lucy. O lud! Ma'am, they are both coming your poor dear uncle before marriage as if he'd up stairs!
| been a black-a-moon--and vet, miss, you are seeLydia. Well, I'll not detain you, coz. Adieu, sible what a wife I made ! and when it pleased my dear Julia; I'm sure you are in haste to send Heaven to release me from him, 'tis unknown