SCENE.- London and the neighbouring Country, excepting Act IV, Scene II, where it is in Mol GENTLEMEN; davia.] TO THE READERS OF THIS COMEDY The world is so nice in these our times, that for apparel there is no fashion; for music (which is a rare art, though now slighted) no instrument; for diet, none but the French kickshaws that are delicate; and for plays, no invention but that which now runneth an invective way, touching some particular persons, or else it is contemned before it is thoroughly understood. This is all that I have to say that the author had no intent to wrong any one in this comedy; but, as a merry passage, here and there interlaced it with delight, which he hopes will please all, and be hurtful to none. PROLOGUE' WHERE the bee can suck no honey, she leaves her sting behind; and where the bear cannot find origanum 5 to heal his grief, he blasteth all other leaves with his breath. We fear it is like to fare so with us; that, seeing you cannot draw from our labours sweet content, you leave behind you a sour mislike, and with open reproach blame our good meaning, because you cannot reap the wonted mirth. Our intent was at this time to move inward delight, not outward lightness; and [s to breed (if it might be) soft smiling, not loud laughing; knowing it, to the wise, to be a great pleasure to hear counsel mixed with wit, as to the foolish, to have sport mingled with rudeness. They were banished the theatre of Athens, and from Rome hissed, that brought parasites on the stage with apish actions, or fools with uncivil habits, or courtesans with immodest words. We have endeavoured to be as far from unseemly speeches, to make your ears glow, as we hope you [10 will be free from unkind reports, or mistaking the authors' intention, (who never aimed at any one particular in this play,) to make our cheeks blush. And thus I leave it, and thee to thine own censure, to like or dislike. - VALE. 7 Q2 authors. Idem. "This Prologue is almost an exact Transcript of 'The Prologue at the Black fryers' prefixed to Lyly's Sapho and Phaon." (Murch.) Marjoram. • Disapproval. Prol. So, grocer, then, by your sweet favour, we intend no abuse to the city. Cit. No, sir! yes, sir. If you were not resolv'd to play the Jacks, what need you study for new subjects, purposely to abuse your bet- [20 ters? Why could not you be contented, as well as others, with "The legend of Whittington," or The Life and Death of Sir Thomas Gresham, with the building of the Royal Exchange,' ,"7 or "The story of Queen Eleanor, [25 with the rearing of London Bridge upon woolsacks?" 8 66 Cit. Why present something notably in honour of the commons of the city. Prol. Why, what do you say to "The Life and Death of fat Drake, or the Repairing of Fleet-privies?" 34 Cit. I do not like that; but I will have a citizen, and he shall be of my own trade. Prol. Oh, you should have told us your mind a month since; our play is ready to begin now. Cit. 'Tis all one for that; I will have a grocer, and he shall do admirable things. Prol. What will you have him do? Cit. Marry, I will have him Wife. (below.) Husband, husband! 40 44 Wife. [below. Hold thy peace, Ralph; I know what I do, I warrant 'ee. Husband, hushand! Cit. What sayst thou, cony? 10 Wife. [below. Let him kill a lion with a [49 pestle, husband! Let him kill a lion with a pestle ! Cit. So he shall. - I'll have him kill a lion with a pestle. Wife. [below.] Husband! shall I come up, husband? 65 Cit. Ay, cony. Ralph, help your mistress this way. Pray, gentlemen, make her a little room.1 pray you, sir, lend me your hand to help up my wife: I thank you, sir. - So. [Wife comes on the stage.] Wife. By your leave, gentlemen all; I'm [60 something troublesome. I'm a stranger here; I was ne'er at one of these plays, as they say, before; but I should have seen "Jane Shore" 12 once; and my husband hath promised me, any time this twelvemonth, to carry me to The Bold Beauchamps," 18 but in truth he did not. I pray you, bear with me. Cit. Boy, let my wife and I have a couple of stools and then begin; and let the grocer do rare things. [Stools are brought.) Prol. But, sir, we have never a boy 14 to play him every one hath a part already. : Wife. Husband, husband, for God's sake, let Ralph play him! Beshrew me, if I do not think he will go beyond them all. Cit. Well rememb'red, wife. Come up. Ralph. I'll tell you, gentlemen; let them but lend him a suit of reparel 15 and necessaries, and, by gad, if any of them all blow wind in the tail on him, 16 I'll be hang'd. [RALPH comes on the stage.] 60 Wife. I pray you, youth, let him have a suit of reparel-I'll be sworn, gentlemen, my husband tells you true. He will act you sometimes at our house, that all the neighbours cry out on him; he will fetch you up a couraging part so in the garret, that we are all as fear'd, I warrant you, that we quake again : we 'll fear our children with him; if they be never so unruly, do but cry, Ralph comes, Ralph comes! to them, and they'll be as quiet as lambs. Hold up thy head, Ralph: show the gentlemen what thou canst do; speak a huffing part; I warrant you, the gentlemen will accept of it. [Exit RALPH Wife. I warrant, our Ralph will look finely when he's drest. Prol. But what will you have it call'd? 14 This play was first acted by the children of Her Majesty's Revels. 15 Apparel. 10 Disparage. 17 Swaggering. 18 With slight changes from 1 Henry IV, I. iii. 201. 19 An early play of unknown authorship. 10 Dear. 20 See The Spanish Tragedy, ante. 10 Both of myself and friends to thy endeavours; 15 20 Jasp. Sir, I do liberally confess I am yours, Bound both by love and duty to your service, In which my labour hath been all my profit: I have not lost in bargain, nor delighted To wear your honest gains upon my back; Nor have I given a pension to my blood,5 Or lavishly in play consum'd your stock; These, and the miseries that do attend them, I dare with innocence proclaim are strangers 24 To all my temperate actions. For your daughter, If there be any love to my deservings Borne by her virtuous self, I cannot stop it; Nor am I able to refrain her wishes. She 's private to herself, and best of knowledge 6 One that hath little left of nature in him. wisdom Cit. Fie upon 'em, little infidels! what a matter's here now! Well, I'll be hang'd for a halfpenny, if there be not some abomination knavery in this play. Well; let 'em look to 't; Ralph must come, and if there be any tricks [es a-brewing Wife. Let 'em brew and bake too, husband, a' God's name; Ralph will find all out, I warrant you, an they were older than they are.[Enter Boy.]-I pray, my pretty youth, is [To Ralph ready? Boy. He will be presently. Wife. Now, I pray you, make my commendations unto him, and withal carry him this stick of liquorice. Tell him his mistress sent it to [75 him; and bid him bite a piece; 't will open his pipes the better, say. [Exit Boy.] That like a bladder blew himself with love, I have let out, and sent him to discover New masters yet unknown. 10 Hum. I thank you, sir, Indeed, I thank you, sir; and, ere I stir, It shall be known, however you do deem, I am of gentle blood and gentle seem. Vent. Oh, sir, I know it certain. Hum. Sir, my friend, Although, as writers say, all things have end, And that we call a pudding hath his two, Oh, let it not seem strange, I pray, to you, If in this bloody simile I put 15 My love, more endless than frail things or gut! Wife. Husband, I prithee, sweet lamb, tell me one thing; but tell me truly. - Stay, youths, I beseech you, till I question my husband. Cit. What is it, mouse? 20 Wife. Sirrah, didst thou ever see a prettier child? how it behaves itself, I warrant ye, and speaks and looks, and perts up the head! - I pray you, brother, with your favour, were you never none of Master Moncaster's & scholars? 25 Cit. Chicken, I prithee heartily, contain thyself: the childer are pretty childer; but when Ralph comes, lamb 1 Another room in the same. 4 Hindrances. 3 Richard Mulcaster, headmaster of St. Paul's School, 1596-1608. He trained the pupils to act. Vent. Well, sir, you know my love, and rest, I hope, Assur'd of my consent; get but my daughter's, And wed her when you please. You must bebold, And clap in close unto her: come, I know wench. Erit. Give me your hand, and then I pray you tell s Where women are not cruel. But how far Luce. Hum. Your game, sir. Let no game, s Or any thing that tendeth to the same, • Restrain. Rake. • Crossbow. * Inclination. Cit. I prithee, mouse, be patient; 'a shall have her, or I'll make some of 'em smoke for 't. Wife. That's my good lamb, George. - Fie, this stinking tobacco kills me ! 4 would there [140 were none in England! - Now, I pray, gentlemen what good does this stinking tobacco do you? Nothing, I warrant you: make chimneys o' your faces! Oh, husband, husband, now, now! there 's Ralph, there 's Ralph. [SCENE III.] 66 145 Enter RALPH, like a Grocer in's shop with two Prentices [TIM and GEORGE], reading " Palmerin of England." Cit. Peace, fool! let Ralph alone. - Hark you, Ralph; do not strain yourself too much at the first.-Peace! - Begin, Ralph. Ralph. [reads.] Then Palmerin and Trineus, snatching their lances from their dwarfs, [s and clasping their helmets, gallopt amain after the giant; and Palmerin, having gotten a sight of him, came posting amain, saying, Stay, traitorous thief! for thou mayst not so carry away her, that is worth the greatest lord in [10 the world; " and, with these words, gave him a blow on the shoulder, that he struck him besides his elephant. And Trineus, coming to the knight that had Agricola behind him, set him soon besides his horse, with his neck [18 broken in the fall; so that the princess, getting out of the throng, between joy and grief, said, "All happy knight, the mirror of all such as |