my lap, I began to read: and though my voice was at firft languid, tremulous, and irrefolute, yet my attention was at length drawn from my fituation to my fubject; I pronounced with great emphafis and propriety, and I began to watch for the effects which I expected to produce upon my auditors; but I was extremely mortified to find, that whenever I paused to give room for a remark or encomium, the interval was filled with an ejaculation of pity for the dog, who ftill continued to his cushion, and was lamented in thefe af"Ah! poor, dear,

whine upon
fectionate and pathetic terms.

66 pretty, little creature."

It happened however, that by fome incidents in the fourth act the paffioas- were apparently interested, and I was just exulting in my fuccefs, when the lady whe fat next me unhappily opening her fnuff-box, which was not effected without fome difficulty, the duft that flew up threw me into a fit of fneezing, which inftantly caused my upper lip to put me again out of countenance: I therefore haftily felt for my handkerchief, and it was not with lefs emotion than if I had feen a ghost, that I discovered it had been picked out of my pocket. In the mean time the opprobrious effufion defcended like an icicle to my chin; and the eyes of the company, which this accident had drawn upon me, were now turned away, with looks which fhewed that their pity was not proof against the ridicule of my distress. What I fuffered at this moment, can neither be expreffed nor conceived: I turned my head this way and that in the anguish of my mind, without knowing what I fought; and at laft holding up my manufcript before my face, I was compelled to make use of the end of my neckloth, which I again buttoned into my bofom. Af

ter

ter many painful efforts I proceeded in my lecture, and again fixed the attention of my hearers. The fourth act was finished, and they expreffed great impatience to hear the catastrophe: I therefore began the fifth with fresh confidence and vigour; but before I had read a page, I was interrupted by two gentlemen of great quality, profeffors of Buckifm, who came with a defign to wait upon the ladies to an auction.

I rose up with the reft of the company when they came in; but what was my aftonishment, to perceive the napkin, which I had unfortunately fecured by one corner, hang down from my waift to the ground! From this dilemma, however, I was delivered by the noble Buck who flood, nearest to me, who, fwearing an oath of astonishment, twitched the napkin from me, and throwing it to the fervant, told him that he had redeemed it from the rats, who were dragging it by degrees into a place where he would never have looked for it. The young ladies were scarce lefs confounded at this accident than I; and the noble matron herself was fomewhat difconcerted: fhe faw my extreme confufion; andt hought fit to apologize for her coufin's behaviour: "He is a wild boy, Sir," fays fhe," he plays "these tricks with every body; but it is his way, and nobody minds it." When we were once more feated, the Bucks, upon the peremptory refufal of the ladies to go out, declared they would ftay and hear the last act of my tragedy; I was therefore requested to go on. But my spirits were quite exhausted by the violent agi. tation of my mind; and I was intimidated by the prefence of two perfons, who appeared to confider me and my performance as objects only of merriment and fport.. I would

I would gladly have renounced all that in the morning had been the object of my hope, to recover the dignity which I had already loft in my own eftimation; and had fcarce any wifh but to return without any further disgrace into the quiet fhades of obscurity. The ladies, however, would take no denial, and I was at length obliged to comply.

66

I was much pleased and furprised at the attention with which my new auditors feemed to liften as I went on the dog was now filent; I increased the pathos of my voice in proportion as I afcended the climax of diftress, and flattered myself that poetry and truth would be ftill victorious: but just at this crifis, the gentleman, who had difengaged me from the napkin, defired me to stop half a moment; fomething, he faid, had juft ftarted into his mind, which if he did not communicate he might forget: then turning to his companion, Jack," fays he, "there was fold in Smithfield no "longer ago than laft Saturday, the largest ox that แ ever I beheld in my life," The ridicule of this malicious apoftrophe was fo ftriking, that pity and decorum gave way, and my patronnefs herself burst into laughter: upon me, indeed, it produced a very different effect for if he had been detected in an unsuccessful attempt to pick a pocket, I could not have felt more fhame, confufion and anguish. The laughter into which the company had been furprized, was, however, immediately fuppreffed, and a fevere cenfure paffed upon the perfon who produced it. To atone for the mortification which I had fuffered, the ladies expreffed the utmost impatience to hear the conclufion, and I was encouraged by repeated encomiums to proceed; but though I once more attempted to recollect myself, and

again began the speech in which I had been interrupted, yet my thoughts were ftill diftracted; my voice faltered, and I had fcarce breath to finifh the first period.

This was remarked by my tormentor the Buck, who fuddenly snatched the manuscript out my hands, declared that I did not do my play justice, and that he would finifh it himself. He then began to read; but the effected gravity of his countenance, the unnatural tone of his voice, and the remembrance of his late anecdote of the ox, excited fenfations that were incompatible both with pity and terror, and rendered me extremely wretched by keeping the company perpetually on the brink of laughter.

In the action of my play, virtue had been sustained by her own dignity, and exulted in the enjoyment of intellectual and independent happiness, during a series of external calamities that terminated in death; and vice, by the fuccefs of her own projects, had been betrayed into fhame, perplexity and confufion. Thefe events were indeed natural; and therefore I poetically inferred, with all the confidence of demonftration, that "the

66

torments of Tartarus, and the felicity of Elyfium,

were not neceffary to the juftification of the Gods; "fince whatever inequality might be pretended in "the distribution of externals, peace is ftill the prero"gative of virtue, and intellectual mifery can be in"flicted only by guilt."

But the intellectual mifery which I fuffered at the very moment when this favourite fentiment was read, produced an irrifistable conviction that it was false; becaufe, except the dread of that punishment which I had indirectly denied, I felt all the torment that could be inflicted

inflicted by guilt. In the profecution of an undertaking which I believed to be virtuous, peace had been driven from my heart, by the concurrence of accident with the vices of others; and the mifery that I fuffered, fuddenly propagated itfelf: for not only enjoyment but hope was now at an end; my play, upon which both had depended, was overturned from its foundation; and I was fo much affected that I took my leave with the abrupt hafte of distress and perplexity. I had no concern about what should be faid of me when I was departed; and, perhaps, at the moment when I went out of the house, there was not in the world any human being more wretched than myself. The next morning, when I reflected coolly upon these events, I would willingly have reconciled my experience with my principles, even at the expence of my morals. I would have supposed that my defire of approbation was inordinate, and that a virtuous indifference about the opinion of others would have prevented all my distress; but I was compelled to acknowledge, that to acquire this indifference was not poffible, and that no man becomes vicious by not effecting impoffibilities: there may be heights of virtue beyond our reach; but to be vicious, we muft either do fomething from which we have power to abftain, or neglect fomething which we have power to do: there remained, therefore, no expedient to recover any part of the credit I had loft, but fetting a truth, which I had newly difcovered by means fo extraordinary, in a new light; and with this view I am a candidate for a place in the Adventurer.