-One must not give him his death, however,

interrupted my father.

By no means, faid my mother:

dialogue ftood ftill again.

-and fo the

I am refolved, however, quoth my father, breaking filence a fourth time, he fhall have no pockets in them.

ther.

There is no occafion for any, faid my mo

I mean in his coat and waistcoat,-cried my father, -I mean fo too,-replied my mother.

-Though if he gets a gig or top-Poor fouls it is a crown and a fceptre to them, they fhould have where to fecure it.

Order it as you pleafe, Mr. Shandy, replied my mother.

-But don't you think it right? added my father, preffing the point home to her.

Perfectly, faid my mother, if it pleases you, Mr. Shandy.

There's for you! cried my father, lofing temper.- -Pleafes me!You never will diftinguish, Mrs. Shandy, nor fhall I ever teach you to do it, betwixt a point of pleasure and a point of con-This was on the Sunday night;

venience.

and further this chapter fayeth not.

T. SHANDY, VOL. III, CHAP. 60.

BEAUTY.

BEAUTY has fo many charms, one knows not

how to speak against it; and when it happens that a graceful figure is the habitation of a virtuous foul, when the beauty of the face speaks out the modefty and humility of the mind, and the justness of the proportion raifes our thoughts up to the heart and wif dom of the great Creator, fomething may be allowed it, and fomething to the embellishments which fet it off; and yet, when the whole apology is read,—it will be found at laft, that Beauty, like Truth, never is fo glorious as when it goes the plaineft.

SERM. XXIV. P. 187.

L

WISDOM.

ESSONS of Wisdom have never fuch power over us, as when they are wrought into the heart through the ground work of a story which engages the paffions: is it that we are like iron, and must first be heated before we can be wrought upon? or, is the

heart fo in love with deceit, that where a true report will not reach it, we must cheat it with a fable, in order to come at the truth?

SERM. XX. P. 93.

OF

HUNGER.

F all the terrors of nature, that of one day or other dying by hunger, is the greatest; and it is wifely wove into our frame to awaken man to induftry, and call forth his talents; and though we feem to go on carelessly, fporting with it as we do with other terrors,-yet, he that fees this enemy fairly, and in his moft frightful fhape, will need no long remonftrance to make him turn out of the way to avoid him.

NOTHING

【OTHING fo powerfully calls home the mind as diftrefs: the tense fibre then relaxes,

the

foul retires to itself,-fits penfive and fufceptible of

right imprefons: If we have a friend, 'tis then we think of him; if a benefactor, at that moment all his kindneffes prefs upon our mind.

SERM. XX. P. 97.

MR. SHANDY'S LETTER TO HIS BROTHER ON LOVE.

My dear brother Toby,

WHAT

THAT I am going to fay to thee, is upon the nature of women, and of love-making to them; and perhaps it is as well for thee-though not fo well for me-that thou haft occafion for a letter of instructions upon that head, and that I am able to write it to thee.

Had it been the good pleasure of him who difpofes of our lots and thou no fufferer by the knowledge, I had been well content that thou fhouldst have dipp'd the pen this moment into the ink, instead of myfelf; but that not being the case-Mrs. Shandy being now clofe befide me, preparing for bed -I have thrown together without order, and just as they have come into my mind, fuch hints and documents as I deem may be of ufe to thee; intending in this to give thee a token of my love; not doubting,

my dear Toby, of the manner in which it will be ac cepted.

In the first place, with regard to all which concerns religion in the affair-though I perceive, from a glow in my cheek, that I blush as I begin to speak to thee upon the fubject, as well knowing, notwithftanding thy unaffected fecrecy, how few of its offices thou neglecteft-yet I would remind thee of one (dur ing the continuance of thy courtship) in a particular manner, which I would not have omitted: and that is, never to go forth upon the enterprize, whether it be in the morning or the afternoon, without first recommending thy felf to the protection of Almighty God, that he may defend thee from the evil one.

Shave the whole top of thy crown clean once at leaft every four or five days, but oftener if convenient; left in taking off thy wig before her, through absence of mind, the fhould be able to discover how much has been cut away by Time-how much by Trim.

-'Twere better to keep ideas of baldness out of her fancy.

Always carry it in thy mind, and act upon it, as a fure maxim, Toby

"That women are timid:" And 'tis well they areelfe there would be no dealing with them.

Let not thy breeches be too tight, or hang too loofe about thy thighs, like the trunk hofe of our ancestors. A just medium prevents all conclufions.