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Nym. With both the humours, I :
How Falstaff, varlet vile,
And his soft couch defile. Nym. My humour shall not cool: I will incense Page * to deal with poison ; I will possess him with yellowness, for the revolt of mine is dangerous: that is my true humour.
Pist. Thou art the Mars of malcontents : I second thee; troop on.
find any body in the house, here will be an old b abusing of God's patience, and the king's English.
Rug. I'll go watch.
Quick. Go; and we'll have a posset for't soon at night, in faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire. [Exit RUGBY.] An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall come in house withal ; and, I warrant you, no tell-tale, nor no breed-bate : his worst fault is, that he is given to prayer; he is something peevish that way: but nobody but has his fault ;—but let that pass. Peter Simple, you say your name is ?
Sim. Ay, for fault of a better.
Quick. Does he not wear a great round beard, like a glover's paring-knife ?
Sim. No, forsooth : he hath but a little wee face, with a little yellow beard ; a Cain-coloured beard.(6)
QUICK. A softly-sprighted man, is he not?
Act II. Sc. 2, we have :
" For this revolt of thine, methinks, is like
Another fall of man." b An old abusing-) An old, i.e. a famous, a rare, a plentiful abusing
Sim. Ay, forsooth: but he is as tall a man of | -- Villainy! larron ! [Pulling SIMPLE out.] his hands," as any is between this and his head; he | Rugby, my rapier. hath fought with a warrener.
QUICK. Good master, be content. Quick. How say you ?-0, I should remember Caius. Verefore @ shall I be content-a? him; does he not hold up his head, as it were, QUICK. The young man is an honest man. and strut in his gait ?
Caius. Vat shall de honest man do in my closet ? Sim. Yes, indeed, does he.
dere is no honest man dat shall come in my closet. Quick. Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse Quick. I beseech you, be not so flegmatick; fortune! Tell master parson Evans, I will do what hear the truth of it: he came of an errand to me I can for your master : Anne is a good girl, and I from parson Hugh. wish—
Caius. Vell ?
Sim. Ay, forsooth, to desire her to-
Quick. Peace, I pray you.
Caius. Peace-a your tongue :-speak-a your
tale. Quick. We shall all be shent: run in here,
Sim. To desire this honest gentlewoman, your good young man ; go into this closet. [Shuts SIMPLE in the closet.] He will not stay long:
maid, to speak a good word to mistress Anne Page What, John Rugby! John! what, John! I say !
for my master, in the way of marriage. Go, John, go inquire for my master ; I doubt, he be
Quick. This is all, indeed, la ; but I'll ne'er not well, that he comes not home :--and down,
put my finger in the fire, and need not. down, adown a, &c.
Caius. Sir Hugh send-a you ?—Rugby, baillez me some paper : tarry you a little-a while.
Writer. Enter Doctor Caius.
Quick. I am glad he is so quiet: if he had Caius. Vat is you sing? I do not like dese toys; been throughly moved, you should have heard him pray you, go and vetch me in my closet un boitier so loud, and so melancholy;—but notwithstanding, verd ; a box, a green-a box; do intend vat I speak? man, I'll do you your master what good I can : and a green-a box.
the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my Quick. Ay, forsooth, I'll fetch it you. I am master, -I may call him my master, look you, for glad he went not in himself: if he had found the I keep his house ; and I wash, wring, brew, bake, young man, he would have been horn-mad.
scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and
FAside. | do all myself; Caius. Fe, fe, fe, fe ! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Sim. 'Tis a great charge, to come under one Je m'en vais à la Cour,—la grande affaire. body's hand. Quick. Is it this, sir ?
QUICK. Are you avisedî o'that? you shall find Caius. Quy; mette le au mon pocket; depêche, it a great charge : and to be up early and down quickly: vere is dat knave Rugby?
late ;-but notwithstanding, (to tell you in your Quick. What, John Rugby! John !
ear, I would have no words of it;) my master Rug. Here, sir.
himself is in love with mistress Anne Page: but Caius. You are John Rugby, and you are Jacka notwithstanding that,-I know Anne's mind,Rugby: come, take-a your rapier, and come after that's neither here nor there. my heel to de court.
Caius. You jack’nape; give-a dis letter to Sir Rug. 'Tis ready, sir, here in the porch. Hugh ; by gar, it is a shallenge : I vill cut his
Caius. By my trot, I tarry too long :-Od's troat in de park; and I vill teach a scurvy jack-ame ! Qu'ay j'oublié ? dere is some simples in my nape priest to meddle or make : you may be gone ; closet, dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave | it is not good you tarry here: by gar, I vill cut all behind.
| his two stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone Quick. Ay me! he'll find the young man there, to trow at his dog.
[Exit SIMPLE. and be mad.
Quick. Alas, he speaks but for his friend. Caius. O diable, diable ! vat is in my closet ? Caits. It is no matter-a vor dat :- do not you
& As tall a man of his hands,-) That is, as able, or bold a man of his hands. Florio translates Manesco, readie or nimblehanded, a tall man of his hands.
b Shent :) Shent here means undone, ruined.
c Il fait fort chaud, &c.] The printers of the folio make sorry work of both French and Latin; there the above reads, il fait for ehando, le man roi a le Court, &c.
d And you are Jack Rugby :) The Doctor had been long enough in England to learn that Jack was another name for knare. e Verefore, &c.] The old text, which here reads wherefore, is
not consistent in its mode of rendering the Doctor's broken English; but, in common with all modern editions, we render it uniform throughout.
f Are you avised o' that?) A household phrase at one time, equivalent to, Have you found out that! Has it occurred to you? o, you think so, do you? Thus, in "The Isle of Gulls," Act II. Sc. 1:“HIP. And in good earnest wee are not father'd much amisse.
Vist. Are you aris'u of Thal?"
tell-a me dat I shall have Anne Page for myself? | I can tell you that by the way; I praise heaven by gar, I vill kill de Jack priest ; and I have ap- | for it.
| FENT. Shall I do any good, thinkest thou ? weapon : by gar, I vill myself have Anne Page. Shall I not lose my suit ?
Quick. Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall QUICK. Troth, sir, all is in his hands above : be well : we must give folks leave to prate : what, but notwithstanding, master Fenton, I'll be sworn the good-year!
on a book, she loves you :-have not your worship Caius. Rugby, come to the court vit me ;-bya wart above your eye? gar, if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your FENT. Yes, marry, have I ; what of that ? head out of my door :—follow my heels, Rugby. Quick. Well, thereby hangs à tale ;—good
[Exeunt Caius and RUGBY. | faith, it is such another Nan;—but, I detest, an QUICK. You shall have An fools-head of your honest maid as ever broke bread :—we had an own. No, I know Anne's mind for that : never a hour's talk of that wart ;-I shall never laugh woman in Windsor knows more of Anne's mind but in that maid's company !-But, indeed, she than I do ; nor can do more than I do with her, I is given too much to allicholly and musing : but thank heaven.
for you—well, go to. FENT. [ Without.] Who's within there ? ho! | FENT. Well, I shall see her to-day: hold,
Quick. Who's there, I trow? Come near the there's money for thee; let me have thy voice house, I pray you.
in my behalf: if thou seest her before me, com
mend meEnter FENTON.
QUICK. Will I? i' faith, that we will : and I
will tell your worship more of the wart, the next FENT. How now, good woman; how dost thou ? time we have confidence; and of other wooers.
QUICK. The better, that it pleases your good FENT. Well, farewell ; I am in great haste worship to ask.
now. FENT. What news ? how does pretty mistress Quick. Farewell to your worship [Exit FENTON. Anne ?
Truly, an honest gentleman ; but Anne loves him QUICK. In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and not; for I know Anne's mind as well as another honest, and gentle ; and one that is your friend, does : out upon’t! what have I forgot ! [Exit.
Enter MISTRESS PAGE, with a letter. you desire better sympathy ? Let it suffice thee, MRS. PAGE. What! have I * 'scaped love-letters mistress Page, (at the least, if the love of soldier in the holy-day time of my beauty, and am I now can suffice,) that I love thee. I will not say, a subiect for them? Let me see. [Reads. I pity me, 'tis not a soldier-like phrase; but I Ask me no reason why I love you ; for though
say, love me. By me, love use reason for his physician, he admits him
Thine own true knight, . not for his counsellor. You are not young, no
By day or night, more am I ; go to then, there's sympathy; you are
Or any kind of light, merry, 80 am I ; ha! ha! then there's more
With all his might, sympathy : you love sack, and so do I; would
For thee to fight. Juhn Falstaff.
. (*) First folio omits, I. a — though love use reason for his physician,-) Old copies, precisian. The emendation is Johnson's, and, supported by the line,
“My reason, the physician to my love," in our author's 147th Sonnet, it should have found a place in every modern edition.
What a Herod of Jewry is this ?-0 wicked, tune of Green Sleeves.(1) What tempest, I trow, wicked, world !-one that is well nigh worn to threw this whale, with so many tuns of oil in his pieces with age, to show himself a young gallant! | belly, ashore at Windsor ? How shall I be What an unweighed behaviour hath this Flemish revenged on him ? I think, the best way were drunkard picked (with the devil's name) out of my to entertain him with hope, till the wicked fire of conversation, that he dares in this manner assay lust have melted him in his own grease. Did you me? Why, he hath not been thrice in my ever hear the like? company !—What should I say to him? I was MRS. PAGE. Letter for letter ; but that the then frugal of my mirth : heaven forgive me! name of Page and Ford differs ! To thy great Why; I'll exhibit a bill in the parliament for the comfort in this mystery of ill opinions, here's the putting down of fat men." How shall I be revenged twin-brother of thy letter : but let thine inherit on him ? for revenged I will be, as sure as his first; for, I protest, mine never shall. I warrant, guts are made of puddings.
he hath a thousand of these letters, writ with blank space for different names, (sure more,) and these are of the second edition : he will print
them out of doubt ; for he cares not what he puts Enter Mistress FORD.
into the press, when he would put us two. I had
rather be a giantess, and lie under mount Pelion. Mrs. Ford. Mistress Page! trust me, I was | Well, I will find you twenty lascivious turtles, ere going to your house.
one chaste man. Mrs. PAGE. And, trust me, I was coming to Mrs. Ford. Why, this is the very same; the you : you look very ill.
very hand, the very words: what doth he think Mrs. Ford. Nay, I'll ne'er believe that; I have of us? to show to the contrary.
Mrs. Page. Nay, I know not: it makes me Mrs. PAGE. 'Faith, but you do, in my mind. almost ready to wrangle with mine own honesty.
MRS. FORD. Well, I do then; yet, I say, I I'll entertain myself like one that I am not could show you to the contrary: O, mistress Page, acquainted withal; for, sure, unless he know some give me some counsel !
straind in me, that I know not myself, he would Mrs. Page. What's the matter, woman?
never have boarded me in this fury. Mrs. Ford. O woman, if it were not for one Mrs. Ford. Boarding, call you it? I'll be sure trilling respect, I could come to such honour! to keep him above deck. Mrs. PAGE. Hang the trifle, woman, take the
MRS. Page. So will I; if he come under my honour: What is it? dispense with trifles; what hatches, I'll never to sea again. Let's be revenged is it?
on him ; let's appoint hin a meeting; give him MRS. Ford. If I would but go to hell for an a show of comfort in his suit; and lead him on eternal moment, or so, I could be knighted.
with a fine-baited delay, till he hath pawned his Mrs. Page. What ?—thou liest !—Sir Alice horses to mine Host of the Garter. Ford! These knights will hack ;b and so thou Mrs. Ford. Nay, I will consent to act any shouldst not alter the article of thy gentry.
villainy against him, that may not sully the Mrs. Ford. We burn day-light : here, read, chariness of our honesty. O, that my husband read ; perceive how I might be knighted. I shall
saw this letter! it would give eternal food to his think the worse of fat men, as long as I have an | jealousy. eye to make difference of men’s liking :o and yet Mrs. Page. Why, look, where he comes ; and he would not swear; praised * women's modesty : my good man too : he's as far from jealousy, as and gave such orderly and well-behaved reproof to
I am from giving him cause; and that, I hope, is all uncomeliness, that I would have sworn his an unmeasurable distance. disposition would have gone to the truth of his Mrs. Fors. You are the happier woman. . words : but they do no more adhere and keep Mrs. Page. Let's consult together against this place together, than the hundredth psalm † to the greasy knight: come hither. [They retire.
Jamex I. in the early part of his reign. "These kniglits will become hackneyed," &c.; but there must be in it a meaning more pertinent than this.
c Of men's liking: 1 Of men's condition of body. Good, or wellliking, meant plump, in good plight; ill-liking, the reverse.
d Some strain in me, -] Some turn, tendency.
e 0, that my husband-) That is, 0, if that my husband, &c. The early quarto reads,
“O Lord, if my husband should see this letter!”