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been in all these, brother Shandy, would be un- . becoming in me to say :--much worse, I know, have I been than I ought,--and fomething worse, perhaps, than I think : But such as I am, you, my dear brother Shandy, who have sucked the same breasts with me, and with whom I have been brought up from' my cradle, and from whose knowledge, from the first hours of of our boyish pastimes, down to this, I have concealed no one action of my life, and scarce a thought in it--Such as I am, brother, you must by this time know me, with all my vices, and with all my weaknesses too, whether of my age, my temper, my passions, or my understanding. .
v. 15 beri
Tell me then, my dear brother Shandy, upon which of them it is, that when I condemned the peace of Utrecht, and grièved the war was noi carried on with vigour a little longer, you thould think your brother did it upon unworthy views; or that in wishing for war, he thould be bad enough to with more of his fellow-créa. tures Naing--more slaves made, and more families driven from their peaceful habitations, mere ly for his own pleasure :-Tell me, brother Shandy, upon what one deed of mine do you ground it ?
If when I was a school-boy, I could not hear; a drum beat, but my heart beat with it.was it my fault? Did I plant the propensity there Did I found the alarm within or Nature?
When Guy, Earl of Warwick, and Parismus and Parismenus, and Valentine and Orfon, and the Seven Champions of England were handed around the school, were they not all purchased with my own pocket money? Was that selfish, brother Shandy? When we read over the fiege of Troyy.whịch lasted ten years and eight months,
though with such a train of artillery as we had at Namur, the town might have been carried in a week—was I not as nuuch concerned for the Greeks and Trojans as any boy of the whole school ? Had I not three strokes of a feBula given me, two on my right hand and one con my left, for calling Helena a bitch for it ? Did any one of you thed more tears for Heltor? And when king Priam came to the camp to beg his body, and returned weeping back to Troy without it,--you know, brother, I could not eat my dinner.
, -Did that bespeak me cruel? Or because, brother Shandy, my blood flew out into the
camp, and my heart panted for war, was it a proof it could not ache for the distresses of war too ?
O brother! Pris one thing for a soldier to gao ther laurels,_and 'tis another to scatter cypress.
-'Tis one thing, brother Shandy, for a foldier to hazard his own life--to leap first down into the trench, where he is sure to be cut in pieces :-- 'Tis one thing from public spirit and a thirst of glory, to enter the breach the first man,--to stand in the foremost rank, and march
176 111 "I bravely on with drums and trumpets, and colours 'flying about his ears :- 'Tis one thing, I fay, brother Shandy, to do this,—and 'tis another thing to reflect on the miseries of war ; to view the desolations of whole countries, and consider the intolerable fatigues and hardships which the soldier himself, the instrument who works them, is forced (for six-pence a day, if he can get it) to undergo.
· Need I be told, dear Yorick, as I was by you, in Le Fever's funeral sermon, That so soft and gentle a creature, born to love, to mercy, and kindness, as man is, was not Maped for this ? But.
why did you not add, Yorick,—if not by NATURE--that he is so by NECESSITY!--For what is war? what is it, Yorick, when fought as ours has been, upon principles of liberty, and upon principles of honour-what is it, but the getting together of quiet and harmless people, with their swords in their hands, to keep the ambitious and the turbulent within bounds? And heaven is my witness, brother Shandy, that the pleasure I have taken in these things,--and that infinite delight, in particular, which has attended my sieges in my bowling green, has arose within me, and I hope in the Corporal too, from the consciousness we both had, that in carrying them on, we were answering the great ends of our creation.
T. SHANDY, VOL. III. CHAP. 75i
M y uncle Toby was a man patient of inju
ries;-- not from want of courage, where just occasions presented, or called it forth, -I know no man under whose arm I would fooner have taken shelter ;--nor did this arise from any
insensibility or obtufeness of his intellectual parts;- he was of a peaceful, placid nature, no jarring element in it,--all was mixed up fo kindly within hiin; my uncle Toby had fcarce a heart to retaliate upon a fly :- Go,-says he one day at dinner, to an overgrown one which had buzzed about his nose, and tormented him cruelly all dinner-time, and which, after infinite attempts, he had caught at last-as it flew by him ; «I'll not hurt thee, says my uncle Toby, rising from his chair, and going across the room, with the fly in his hand, --I'll not hurt a hair of thy bead :-Ga, says he, lifting up the fafli, and opening his hand as he spoke, to let it escape ;-~-go, poor devil-get thee gone, why should I hurt thee? This world furely is wide enough to hold both thee and me.
* This is to serve for parents and governors instead of a whole volume upon the subject.
T. SHANDY, VOL. 1. CHAP. 37.